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My husband is all about teaching my son to defend himself. At daycare, this punk kid used to steal my son's snacks almost every day. And my son didn't know how to react so he let him just take it. So my hubs told my son "next time he takes your snack, say "NO!" and take it back!". So my son did that and the punk kid pushed him and grabbed his shirt! So my hubs (who was there at the time), told him to grab his shirt too. OMG, it was preschool drama up in there.

@banana: omg what happened next??!!!

Hmm...if someone was picking on my daughter *I* would want to beat some butt,...so I guess I wouldn't encourage it, but wouldn't be upset if she threw some punches

@mrbee: So now they're both holding each other's shirts. So the teacher came over and told the punk kid to let go first, since he did it first. But he wouldn't let go!. He kept shaking his head no. Then punk kid started pushing my son towards the wall. My son tripped and fell on the ground so the other kid fell too because they were still holding on tight. My son started crying cause he fell and I guess it scared him. And then the other kid started crying too. Finally my son let go of his shirt and the other kid did too. Then the daycare teacher told them to hug it out and made the other kid say sorry. He said "sorry!" and ran away. The whole time, my husband's face had this PISSED off look. It's amazing how much anger you can have towards a kid when they're punking your kid!!

@banana: I LOVE that you just referred to a preschooler as a "punk kid"

I would want teach my kid to stand up for themselves but with their words not their fists.

@chopsuey119: LOL! Afterwards, my husband goes "We HAVE to put him in Tae Kwon Do"

@banana: omg what a sad story!!! awww! poor baby banana boy!!

I think it's good to know the difference between knowing when to defend and when to walk away. I don't want my son to be a pushover like DH, but I don't want him to be a bully.

DH and I disagree on this subject. I am not opposed to LO defending herself, but I do not support her being physically aggressive with anyone. The school system I grew up in had a zero tolerance policy for that kind of thing and I worry that she would get expelled. Plus, you can't be physical with someone in adulthood or they are going to press charges against you.

DH thinks responding physically is okay in certain situations. This might be more specific than what the original post intended, however. Do I want her to defend herself? Yes. But only with words.

Oh gosh, this is such a tough question. I don't know... just thinking about some punk kid being mean to L makes my blood boil. I guess ideally, I'd like to teach her to be the bigger person and walk away, but I don't know if that's what I'll end up doing

ETA: Just asked DH - he said he'd tell her to kick some ass

I want them to defend themselves. We definitely want them to take martial arts as well - both for the discipline and practicality of it. Not that I want them to get into fights but I don't want them to be afraid.
Cute story. We dropped both kids off at the kids care at our gym one recent Saturday. After we picked them up, my son told mus that some kid tried to take his sister's water bottle, so he said "no, that's my sister's water bottle!". He was so proud to have defended her. We told him we were really proud of him as well.

@T-Mom: my parents wouldn't let me take taekwondo because i was a girl. meanwhile my brother went all the way to a black belt. i can't wait until olive takes martial arts!!!!!!!

Walk away and tell an adult.