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No advice just commiseration. I've had to deal with a lot of difficult people at work that overshadow my actual offerings so it weighs me down.

Bottom line, we need the insurance and paycheck but it breaks my heart when my boys miss me

I am the breadwinner too, so I understand how it feels to really have no options! I know I will be a WOHM for years to come. and it's just something I have to accept. I don't love my job either, so sometimes it's definitely hard when I think about how I spend my hours; at some place I don't want to be vs with DD!

But this how I am providing for my family so I guess I just suck it up. And I know it will get easier as they get older. We haven't gone on any extended/extravagant vacations so I usually take random days off to spend w/ DD and DH.

@codeitall: I hope you will be able to find a good balance We can start a WOHM club haha.

I have to say, I am still the most preferred one by DD even tho DH takes care of her the most during the week. And I do love that she is exposed to and thriving with both grandma care and daycare, making her a very adaptable kid!

I'm on maternity leave and dreading going back. I wish I could take a year or two off. But I don't know what I would go back into if I left.

@snowjewelz: lol I know you're joking but maybe we really do need a WOHM support thread...

@JennyD: you are providing so much value to your kids by working (life lessons, not just bread and butter!). Also, a recent study showed that WOHMs had just as much QUALITY time even though not as much time in general if they were to stay home.

A recent working mom fail day: The other day I got home from work at 9pm after working a 14 hour day. I missed bedtime of course. I read DDs daily sheet from daycare "E does not like beans and strawberries...please send something else". (shes a toddler, she'll change her mind tomorrow) the note also reminded me to bring swimsuit and towel I had forgotten that morning.

The next morning, I got grilled on why DD is scratching her neck like crazy (eczema, lay off!) And also, I had mentioned I needed to cut her nails, did I get around to that? THEN the teacher says "oh boy E, that dress looks like it's getting a little short!" (Shes 18 months, ITS 90 DEGREES...who CARES!)

All that to say that some days are a real struggle and I feel like a shitty mom. Other days, I feel like a bad ass. @codeitall: I know it's a real struggle if you aren't engaged and loving your job. Have you talked to your boss about the way you are feeling? Have you identified the root of your unhappiness at work?

@JennyD: ha, they are totally fussy. I've made peace with it (sorta :silly:)

Not going to lie, I feel like I'm missing out on a lot too. I think k I'm going to leave work a couple hours early on Friday to get a pedicure. Little things like that make me feel human and like I can keep going, even if I can't get a whole vacation day in.

@codeitall: Dilbert is my favorite!

I'm there with all of you. I keep debating between job searching and staying with my current position. Even though I feel stifled career-wise (definitely not using my full skillset or potential here) they are pretty flexible when it comes to schedule flexing and telework. I've been thinking this way since I got pregnant with DD over 2 years ago... Sigh.

Yeah, being a working mom not by choice is so awful. I mean, there are worse things in life, but I'm still so not happy that my children have to spend every beautiful summer day in a small room, and that it didn't matter if they're sad or not feeling well, they still come last, after my boss and rich clients who surely don't have to do this to their kids. I thought I was doing this so we could have a better place to live, but that's not happening so I don't quite see the point any more. I'm not rocking the boat only because my oldest starts school in a year, and making it so I can come home early to pick him up will be my hill to die on.

@codeitall: A few things happened. I interviewed for other jobs and got a few offers, which validated my worth (I needed some external validation after I asked for a raise, which my boss supported, but the exec director denied and basically said I was lucky to have a job). My exec director eventually did have to give me a raise because I would have left otherwise. My boss and I also bonded more about some of our shared concerns about work. I also changed my work schedule a bit, to something that fit my schedule better and let me have more quality time with the kids (but I work again after they go to bed).