Just curious! Did you have #1 stay home with you while you were home with #2? Did you send #1 to daycare/nanny/whatever you normally do while you spent time bonding with #2? Did #1 stay home for a couple weeks with everyone as a family and then have them go back to their routine while you stayed home?
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She stayed FT at daycare for a month and a half and then we switched to a PT schedule (MWF) for the rest of my maternity leave. Even if she didn't go, we still had to pay for 2 days a week to hold her spot through the summer.
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She's going to be home with me. I'll be off for a year and I can't stomach a years worth of daycare payments when I"m at home anyway.
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Most of my friends with two sent the older to daycare to reduce the burden on them home during the day with a newborn. They saw it as another expense to save up for before the baby was born.
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we're going to keep the same routine (maybe early pickups?). right now she goes to daycare 3x a week so we'll keep doing that. she's supposed to start full time daycare when she's in the 2's class which should be coming up soon. so we'll start her full time then. we want to keep the same routine for her but also its so hard to get a spot at our daycare so i don't want to lose it!
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@JoJoGirl: That's what I was thinking! That it would be easier to bond and deal with all those newborn feedings if Xander continued to go to daycare. Plus I only have 12 weeks off, so not sure it makes sense to have him stop going to daycare for such a short period of time and then start up again.
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If we have another, 100% R will still go to school. I want to keep her on a schedule. Since it is only 12 weeks. I might would take her in later and pick up earlier, but that would be it.
@oliviaoblivia: For a year I would keep her home too. Just would try and find a Mother's Morning out program so I would get a little break.
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@Smurfette: Do you think you'd keep her home with you for the first week or so? Or no - just continue school as normal through the whole thing?
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We are leaving C in daycare while I'm home with #2. She thrives under routine and the more we can do to keep her life consistent I think the better off she will be.
And quite frankly, I don't think I will be able to keep my sanity at home with her and a newborn. I'm also only off for 8 weeks.
And actually, now that I think about it, part of my leave crosses Christmas. C will be home for a week at Christmas when my family is in town.
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If we are into daycare by then, I will send DD almost full-time. We have to pay for it anyway (there are no part-time or "hold your spot" options). If we still have our nanny by then (I really hope not!), then I will keep DD home with me and hire a new nanny for both kids when I go back to work.
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@MamaG: My leave crosses Christmas too and our daycare is closed for half that week anyway, so Xander will definitely be home with us then!
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@Adira: I know you were asking Smurfette, but I'll offer my opinion on this. I've been called insensitive, just adding the disclaimer, in how I plan to handle this.
I'm having a c-section, so I'm hoping that we can drop C at school and head to the hospital. I'm not sure what time I will have to be at the hospital for surgery. And she will continue at school while I'm in the hospital as well as when I return home. My DH is only off for one week, which isn't much since 3 days or so I will be in the hospital. I might have him pick her up early, but I will be overwhelmed with the newborn and her both.
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@Adira: Probably 2-3 days cause I am assuming she would have missed a couple days while we are in the hospital and grandparents/aunt is watching her.
You probably need to check into if you would lose your spot or not if you plan to keep him home.
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My DS stayed in DCP the whole time - we didn't want to mess with his routine - heck, we didn't even bring him to the hospital to see his baby sister until his school day was over!
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@Mamaof2: I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks like this. It obviously worked okay for you
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@MamaG: I hear you. I'm only considering keeping Xander home for a week or so because Hubs will be around to help out! If it was just me, there's no way I'd keep him home!
@Smurfette: Hmm.. yeah, I was thinking of having him continue with daycare while I'm in the hospital, but that might not even be possible depending on who's watching him! Good point!
And I'd keep paying, even if we kept him home for a week or so, so we wouldn't lose our spot. Although we ARE allowed a week's vacation, so I could use that!
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I should also mention that family (likely my sister) will stay at our house while I'm in the hospital and try to keep routine as close to normal as possible. C won't be going to someone else's home to stay.
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I kept #1 in daycare the first six weeks just to give me time with #2. #1 finished daycare last week and both will be home with me for the next 13/14 months.
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@MamaG: Ahhh, I haven't figured that out yet!!!
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I should add that DH will be home with me for the first five weeks.
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I was thinking that we would send L to school but then I was worried about the germs he might be bringing home to the brand new baby if he is going to school.... I'm probably paranoid because of all the issues we've had with day care illness....
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@travellingbee: OH man, I didn't even think of that, but that's actually something I should probably consider! Especially since #2 is going to be born in the winter! Though I can't keep Xander home all winter anyway so... sorry #2!!
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@travellingbee: We just had DS wash his hands as soon as he came in the house - DD got 1 cold but that was it!
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@travellingbee: You can also change their clothes as soon as they get home.
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@travellingbee: @Adira: +1 bigtime. DS is 7w and has been sick 4w of that (still sick, so likely coming on to 5w).
DD finished daycare last week, so I am hoping we can get our act together soon (we are all sick). DD wasn't sick like DS has been since she went to daycare last fall, poor dude.
We washed hands/face (general wipedown) and clothes the moment she got in the door, and it still didn't matter.....especially with a cough (someone tell the 19m to cover her mouth....yah right).
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@Beebug: Now I'm scared! Poor baby #2 is going to be so sick...
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She continued to go to daycare FT.
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@Adira: I will most likely have a repeat c-section so if possible, I'd like to have the baby on a Friday so I can the weekend with her with us at the hospital. On Monday, it's back to regular routine, because I think it will only make it harder for her to see me with the baby (if she stays home with us for a few days) and have to go to daycare. Although she'll "know" I'm still home with the baby when daddy takes her to daycare, that's how it is right now anyway. daddy takes her to daycare in the mornings. Plus I would still have to pay to keep her spot in daycare and that's just a waste of money! Plus, I remember newborn days. I was so tired and so sleep deprived. I can not imagine trying to function with a newborn AND a toddler with non-stop energy.
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Not pregnant yet, but we have already decided to continue to send LO to daycare. I may keep her home 1 day a week to do a fun family outing, but there's no way with a 2 year old that I would be able to "sleep when baby sleeps" & I'll be recovering from a C-section.
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When we have #2 we will definitely still send him to daycare for most of my 10-12 week leave. At first DH will be home and grandparents will be around, but when DH goes back to work, Declan will go back to school, I imagine. We'll still have to pay the entire time anyways, and not worth potentially losing his spot since my leave won't be all that long.
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Daycare for sure. Not because I want her to keep her schedule, but she would be MISERABLE at home with me and a newborn!
Also, the new baby deserves some alone bonding time with me, especially since I'm only taking 4-6 weeks
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@swurlygurl: Oh man! Only 4-6 weeks??? I'm sorry!
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I WOH when #2 was born and just had DD1 home with me during my five-week leave.
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I work part time, so it's a little different, also I'm not 100% thrilled with my daycare and want to switch to a nanny anyways, so I'm going to pull her and lose the spot. I will have her with me for the full 12 weeks.
BUT I have to give daycare two weeks notice in the contract, so for whatever two weeks I will pay for, I will probably still drop her off. Also, until she fills the spot, I might take her and pay by the day to go to dr appts, catch up on sleep, etc.
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If we have another, we'd have LO1 at daycare while DH and I stay home with LO2. But there's a limit to the amount of time she can be at daycare while we're on parental leave with a new baby: 15hrs a week. At our daycare, this translates to 3 times a week since they have a fixed schedule and under 4 hrs/day gets in the way of their nap/eating schedule.
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If we have a #2 then #1 will be home with me. But I'd also be home for a year and there is no way we could pay for daycare for a year with me not working.
I would try and find someone to come help out or take #1 one day a week just for a bit of a break.
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We're not in this situation yet but if finances allow it, I would want to send #1 to daycare for a 2-3 days/week so I have some time at home with just one baby. We'd have to do that to keep his spot at our current daycare for when I return to work anyway.
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He continued at daycare full time. He needs the routine and structure of daycare. Daycare wears him out and he sleeps better. I would love to be super mom and say I can handle him at home while I'm on leave but honestly I'm just not that super! I had them both with me on Monday for half day alone (2.5 y/o and 10 weeks) and there was a lot of TV watching for my older one. #2 is a major snuggle bug and wants to be held all the time so it makes it difficult. I would have been a terrible parent if I had to care for them both!
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