I feel like working full time causes a lot of stress in my life. I feel there is no time for anything once you get home. How do you manage time between playing and caring for LO, cooking, working out (maintaining yourself), keeping a clean house, laundry, spending time with DH and sleeping! Please share tips and advice for staying sane!
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Can you hire a cleaning person to come every once in a while? That is a huge help. I'm not able to work out very much. A lot of other self care stuff has gone out the window.
I've also had to reduce my standards. I'll have DH go grocery shopping or something, even though he always messes it up. At least we get some of the right stuff some of the time!
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My husband does a lot of the cooking and cleaning. He generally cooks dinner while I give LO her bath.
Dividing up the tasks is key to our sanity; there is no reason why you should have to do it all. Any man can throw laundry in, or load a dishwasher or vacumm/sweep the floors.
We do laundry on the weekends.
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@andrea made a good point. Reduce your standards. That is exactly what I did. We keep a clean enough house, grocery shop on weekends together with our lo so that's "us" time. I don't work out, there's just not enough time and I don't care to.
I just set a schedule for weeknights:
5pm: Get home and start dinner.
5:30pm: Eat dinner as a family
6pm: Start M's bedtime routine
7pm: Baby is asleep
7pm-8pm: My husband and I do our own thing (whether it's cleaning, computer time, sleeping, cooking, baking, reading, whatever).
8-9pm: Us time. We snuggle on the couch or in bed and watch TV together.
9pm: Lights out. We both get up at 5:30 so, we have early bedtimes.
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It's hard. And at 7 months, it's still hard, but it's better. I had to learn to prioritize, and accept that I can't do it all. DH is in charge of dishes, and I pick a couple of chores to do each day. And I save cooking "real meals" for the weekends. You'll find the balance.
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1. I took a 25% paycut and work 4 days. The extra day at home seems very helpful so far.
2. I now only do laundry on the weekend unless there is a big poopy mess in one of his outfits.
3. My mom watches baby one day so she can run little errands for me and get dinner going that night. So I only have to worry about 3 nights during the "work week" for dinner. I have been making an extra meal on Sundays or Mondays for one of those three nights. I'm also lucky that my mom will throw in a load of laundry for us or will tidy up.
4. I don't work out during the week (would like to change this).
5. We pay a cleaning person to come every other week. No time to clean bathroom anymore (though we've had the cleaner since pre-baby).
6. I go to bed at 9 every night now....need the rest. Time with DH can wait til the weekends (I know, this is bad....want to work on this....) My son is an early riser and usually wakes up once at night so I need to make sure I'm not a zombie.
7. My husband works very long hours (and some weekends) so can't help with drop off or pick up from daycare on the days my son is in daycare. I just make sure I do bottles the night before and clean bottles right after dinner.
8. I make sure I've picked out my clothes and my LO's clothes the night before.
9. I plan out all meals for the week on Sunday. We make easy meals during the week. My husband does DS's bath if he is home and then I do bottle/bed. While I'm doing that DH will start dinner.
10. I've decided that it's ok if I'm not perfect at work or at home. I just need to do my best.
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I have also let a lot of things go, like @Andrea and @mediagirl said. I have a cleaning lady (recently upped to weekly schedule). Today I went home at lunch time and loaded a full dishwasher full of dishes b/c I could not stand seeing them like that when I left the house this am. DH made DD's lunch today. She got boxed mac n cheese, and he called at 1pm b/c he was almost certain he had left it in the fridge (DD eats lunch at 11:30). I agree though. It is really stressful trying to do it all! I am not successful at it every day. I just try to be kind to myself and remember that all the kids care about is that they are loved.
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And here's my schedule so far:
5 am (if DS wakes at 5....) get up, feed him, play...put him down for nap at 6;30.
6:30-7:30 I get ready for work and tidy up
7:30 wake him up, get him ready for daycare
7:50 drop off at daycare
8:30-5 work
5 leave work and race to daycare
5:50 arrive home and play with son and organize dinner
6:30 start bathtime
7 son asleep
7-8:30 cook and eat dinner - relax with husband
8:30 - clean up, clean bottles, make bottles
9 get ready for bed
9/9:30 lgiths out
(usually have one night waking between 2-3:30 but sometimes he just sleeps til 5).Sometimes my son wakes at 6 in which case we just don't have the morning playtime routine. Instead I feed him, hang out for a few and then put him in his einstein jumper while I get ready for work.
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We have hired a cleaning crew once a month, so all we do for cleaning is just maintenance and we vacuum our one rug. We get a lot of takeout and all the cooking I do takes less than 20 mins (spaghetti, pork chops, etc). Ever since LMW was born we don't work out at all. We're hoping to start after she starts sleeping thru the night. We only do laundry on weekends. We go to bed a LOT earlier than we used to (sacrificing working out, hanging out, cooking, etc).
That being said, my mom is here 3 weeks a month and it's been awesome being able to step out to go grocery shopping together or a quick date night. She cooks us dinner every night and packs our breakfast and lunch every day. She does laundry almost daily and tidies up the house-- even makes our bed every day. I am so spoiled with her here and I don't know what I'll do when she stops coming in January!!!!
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I struggled with feeling the same way as you do for a long time. The only thing I can say is that it eventually gets easier. We did break down and hire a wonderful cleaning lady to come every other week. Also, DH does almost all of the cooking so that I can get DD ready for bed in the evenings. But the truth is, there is still very little down time compared to life before baby. It's just a matter of adjusting how you view it. I hate the fact that I hardly see my baby during the week, but I try to make up for it on the weekends.
Things I've done to help ease the chores...
- If I usually have a ton of laundry to do on the weekends, I'll do a load at night during the week so that it gives me more time to spend with DD on the weekends.
- As soon as I get home, I start soaking DD's bottles in hot soapy water and then I wait to scrub them until after she goes to bed.
- I get my play time with DD while DH cooks dinner (and vise versa)
- In the mornings, I'm up before everyone so that I can work out. And I pack our lunches while I'm eating my breakfast.There are many days when the house is still a wreck when we go to bed, but I'm learning to let go.
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-I have a cleaning lady come every other week and the nanny tidies up during the day and does all the laundry.
-Hubs cooks dinner almost every night and therefore does most of the grocery shopping too. I want to cook more, but he is a better cook.
-Now that the baby is a little older, he will follow me around the kitchen while I make my breakfast or lunch or sit outside the bathroom while I get ready.
-I work from home 2-3 days a week and just the couple extra hours that I am with the baby or husband or just not in my car gives me a little extra boost.
-Working out is just not working out. -
I also feel like I am overwhelmed somedays. It is hard being a working mom, much harder than I thought, but I try to spot clean as I go along so things dont build up. I also cook more on the weekends so we can have food during the week.
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Ya, it gets pretty crazy around here sometimes. Especially now that I have another child, it's extra hectic! I've also let a lot of things go, especially in the cleaning department. In terms of cooking and feeding the family, I try to make that a priority since nutrition and health is so important. My DH and I divide and conquer all the time. Every morning, we sit at the dinner table while eating breakfast and discuss that day's events. So we'll plan out who is doing what and when.
It's exhausting but fun at the same time. When we had just my son, it was as lot easier because we didn't have to divide & conquer. One of us was always free to do something else while the other watched my son. Now with 2 kiddos, we each have to watch one so it's much more difficult... but manageable with some good planning!
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@Andrea: lol DH always messes our list up too. I have to be so ultra-specific!
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