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Working moms with infants.. are you overwhelmed

  1. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    Being a working mom is definitely overwhelming with balancing the morning routine, night routine, and everything in between. I struggle with pumping during the day and balancing work tasks. I work with a lot of consultants now, so I get lots of questions that I'm often answering on my phone in the mother's room pumping.

    My boss is awesome and supportive and as been throughout the years. I've been with my boss almost along as my husband. I joke that he's my son's Chicago grandfather. He fretted so much about me going into labor before my due date more so than everyone in my family.

    In addition to that, I have to keep up with laundry and everything else. I really, really want to start making purees. It's finding the time to do it is hard. I didn't think it would be so hard to find time to make purees and even start solids.

    It's overwhelming, but I'm happy. I didn't think I would like being a working mom, but I do.

  2. MsLipGloss

    GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts

    @Buffalove: I would love to eat cereal and *get away with it!*

    I have been trying to work out here at the office during lunch . . . but with 2 pumping sessions (and I really should be doing 3!) and trying to leave *early* it is really, really hard to do. DH and I are in the process of selling our house (which just adds to the chaos!), so I have been holding off on purchasing big gym equipment until after the move. But even after that, I don't know that I will be able to do it as much as I would like. And not being in shape and hanging on to the baby weight is k.i.l.l.i.n.g. me. It sounds so superficial, but I worked so hard pre-pg to maintain my figure and I am so ready to get it back!

  3. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @buffalove: We sleep when T is not sick - which is practically never! Even when he sleeps through he sleeps 7-5 so we get to sleep in....but only when he has a night waking, woo hoo! Getting snowed in used to sound like fun....all that netflix....now, no way, it drove me stir crazy to be home all day with a sick family yesterday!

    @MsLipGloss: DITTO to everything you wrote. Except, I don't pump anymore, so there's that. And, my LO sleeps longer stretches but still has night wakings when he's sick and only sleeps 10 hours a night so I have to go to bed at 9 if I want any sleep at all. And he's 8 months so going on 8 months of sleep deprivation. And last night, for fun, he was up whining from 3:30-4:30. Then at 5:30. Then 6:30 for the day. T gets dropped off at daycare at 7:30 - I'm at work at 8 and leave at 5 to pick him up in Boston traffic at 5:45. I'm home an extra day a week...I can't imagine working 5 days.

    @littlek: I'm so sorry : ( I know you were looking forward to this job as a better opportunity since closer to home.

  4. Mrs. Jacks

    blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts

    @littlek: I'm so sorry. It really does get better!

  5. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @MsLipGloss: I have brought a gym bag to work for the past 4 days. It's sat under my desk. Grrr.

    @cascademom: I buy jars. I couldn't have one more thing on my list of to dos.

  6. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @MsLipGloss: YES to feeling totally out of it at work related stuff. I had to write 2 briefs this month and it was the mental olympics. I can't keep this up with 2 kids either. I'm not sure what we'll do.

  7. Mrs. Jacks

    blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts

    @winniebee: Ah you are the one who needs encouragement right now. You can do this! You are working long hours and I know that makes it harder, and I know your hubs' hours aren't helping... but it won't always be like this, I promise

  8. MsLipGloss

    GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts

    @LittleK: That is insanity! I hope you are able to find another job, or that your boss gets a personality/priority transplant! ((hugs))

  9. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @Mrs. Jacks: I feel like my life is passing me by. One sickness after another. I know it will be better soon from my husband's side of things, but I can't imagine doing this with 2!

  10. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    @littlek: I'm so sorry your boss isn't flexible. My boss is similar, but bends a tiny bit when he's in a good mood. He has 1 year old twins at home, so when he has to be home to relieve the nanny, he wants everyone to be understanding. But when he's not on duty, everyone else has to be ready to go at work. He headed out for a work trip late last night, and kept me here until 6:30. With my commute, I didn't get home until 8:15. So I left the house at 6:30 and didn't get home until 8:15. I cried my entire train ride home b/c I thought my DH was going to put my LO down without me being able to see him. He kept him up just for me.

    But yes...I feel overwhelmed too. I need to find something closer to home. The 1:15 hour commute and relying on a train schedule just isn't working for me.

  11. buffalove

    kiwi / 640 posts

    @cascademom, @winniebee: i do jars too. i also formula fed from the beginning and working was one of the factors in that decision.

  12. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @buffalove: I've actually been working out for 2 weeks. I work out between 7:30 - 8 p.m. It is rough... A full week without DH plus snow.. OMG...

    @winniebee: Another stomach bug... ouch.. that's rough.. the worst B has gotten is a constant runny nose which isn't awesome but we can live with it..

    I gave up pumping... it was too much on top of everything else... Props to those of you that are still doing it.. I used to give my pump dirty looks because I hated feeling tied to it..

    @2PeasinaPod: she has 2 kids too.. so I don't get the lack of sympathy..

  13. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @MsLipGloss: I am in awe of you with the pumping... I couldn't do it!

  14. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: Way to go w/ working out! Do you cook after that and eat dinner? After T goes down at 7, we cook, eat, watch an hour of tv and are in bed at 9 or 9:30. I need to start working out at lunch or it's not going to happen. Ever.

  15. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    I actually have an interview next week with my old bosses firm, he's a partner. It's actually closer to home and they are flexible. Fingers crossed it goes well!

  16. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @winniebee: So here's my schedule:

    Pick up B at 5:30
    Home at 6
    Play with B 6 - 7
    Bath, bottle, bed 7 - 7:30
    Work out 7:30 - 8
    DH makes dinner at 8 and I cool down (my workout is longer)
    Eat dinner 8:30
    Watch Game of Thrones with DH until 10 p.m. bedtime
    DH normally then works till midnight..

  17. Mrs. Jacks

    blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts

    @winniebee: I wouldn't do two until your husband is done and able to be a more full participant in child duties

  18. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: Thanks for sharing!

    Here is mine:

    Pick up T at 5:45
    Home at 6
    6-6:30 - Play with T
    6:30 - bath, bottle, bed by 7 (when DH is home from work, he does the bath and I clean bottles or start dinner....I usually do the bottle part)
    7 - make dinner (with DH, or he's doing work while I make dinner)
    7:45 eat dinner
    8 - Clean dishes, make bottles and food for next day
    8:30-9:15/9:30 - Watch Boardwak Empire episode
    9:30 - Bed
    5:30 a.m. - Rinse, repeat (unless, of course there is a night waking).

  19. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @Mrs. Jacks: We don't plan on it!

  20. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @winniebee: Is Boardwalk Empire good? We are looking for TV series DH and I will both like. For some odd reason he doesn't appreciate HGTV.

    Does anyone else feel like getting out of the house in the morning is a huge accomplishment? No matter how much I prep the night before it is always such a process getting out the door.

  21. mamimami

    grapefruit / 4120 posts

    With my first child things got easier when he was 6 months old and we sleep trained, and then a lot easier when he turned 1 and I stopped pumping. Now that he is 2 it is waaaay easier on his part except I have a newborn. HA!

    Now that I'm on my second infant, I think about how much easier it was with just one!

    One thing we do is do as much as possible on the weekends. I know it kind of sucks but it makes the weeks more bearable if you're going to the supermarket on the weekends as a family and doing all those other little tasks and appointments on the weekends whenever possible.

    Of course there will always be curve balls.

    You can do this! I know it sounds crazy but you will blink your eyes and your infant will be a toddler and then a preschooler!

  22. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: YES. Especially now that T is mobile. He's getting into mischief and I have to keep an eye on him whereas before he was content to jump in his bouncer while I got ready for work. It takes 1.5 hours to get out of the house in the morning, at least. We LOVE Boardwalk Empire; we also love Game of Thrones -- and the Wire, Breaking Bad, and Homeland.

  23. buffalove

    kiwi / 640 posts

    @littlek: so impressed that you exercise in there! thanks for sharing your schedule (and you too @winniebee!) i don't put DS to bed until 8 (bottle at 8, bed by 8:20ish), so the idea of starting to exercise at 8:30 is just so unappealing!

    I am lucky an my mom comes to our house 3 days/week, so we only have to get DS out of the house on W and F. And when i say "we", i mean DH On the mornings when i do have to get baby out of the house, I do feel like it's a huge accomplishment! Even though we're totally organized the night before, DS wakes up at all different times in the morning and it's such a curveball if he wakes when I'm getting ready. if I could count on him to sleep right up until we leave, it would be a different story!

  24. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    @littlek: Seriously...you would think they would be more understanding if they have kids too...

    @littlek: & @winniebee: Do either of your LO still have night wakeups? S will be 4 months on Saturday, but we still can't get him down earlier than 9 on most days. Especially if I want to have some time in the morning to get up and get ready before he wakes up. But yes, getting out the door in the morning takes forever for us too. And I get up at 5:15 to get ready first before getting him out the door when I have to.

  25. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    DH leaves for work at 6 a.m., so it's just me and the little guy every morning. Oh and 2 crazy dogs.

  26. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @2PeasinaPod: Sometimes. He's 8 months and when he's not fighting a sickness he sleeps 7-5 (or, 7:30-5:30). He's up for the day then though. Otherwise, he's up once and goes back down quickly -- but last night he was congested and up for an hour in the middle of the night. My husband shares nightwaking duties which is a huge help. We haven't sleep trained because it seems that when he is feeling well, he sleeps straight through. 4 months was a really hard time sleep wise for us. We started an early bedtime right around then because he started taking only 30 minute naps and couldn't sustain himself much past 7.

  27. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    @winniebee: Hmm, that's interesting. I have the baby food machine that I got as a Christmas gift. I'm thinking that on a day off or during a long baby nap, I'll do it. At his daycare, they make the purees fresh and organic, so I know that he's getting good food there when we start it. I still struggle to find the time to do everything, but I just have to think of it as a hobby like knitting to get into the swing of it. I say this now at 5 months. Talk to me again in a month, we'll see.

  28. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    @2PeasinaPod: We have the same problem with getting LO down before 9pm, usually 10pm with him, but with a few wakeups since he's still breastfed. Mornings are tough here. Lately, I've been doing part of husband's morning routine, so that's slowing me down a bit.

  29. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @2PeasinaPod: No night wakeups. B sleeps from 7:30 p.m. to 7 a.m.

  30. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: So, did you guys sleep train or did he go back to sleeping well on his own? I'm hoping one day Tyler will magically start sleeping longer than 10 hrs at night. He slept 13 hrs straight the other night, but wsa sick.

  31. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    @winniebee: Man, I'm waiting for my LO to sleep longer than 8 hours a night with a few wakeups! 10 hours plus would be a dream come true!

  32. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @cascademom: meh, he's 8 months old and only sleeps 7-5.....and if he has a night waking, only slightly later. since he's been sick he does have night wakings. i feel like at this point, i've earned sleep and don't have it yet!!! how old is your LO?

  33. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @winniebee: After the holidays B's sleep was awful. He got his first ever fever and would only sleep if he was being held. So, the minute he felt better (a day or two later) we did CIO extinction. The first time he cried 40 minutes, and woke up twice during the night (one 10 minute cry and the other 5 minute cry). The next day it was a little better and the day after that he went down without crying and slept through the night. He's been going to bed no issues and STTN for about 3 weeks now. It's glorious. We did nap training on the weekends and he is now taking 3 - 4 naps ranging from 1 hour to 3 hours. CIO extinction worked wonders.

  34. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: I'm wondering if I should do CIO in the morning. He wakes up happy but his wake time is just too early. When healthy he sleeps through. He has no issue going down or with naps. I want more sleep!!

  35. MsLipGloss

    GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts

    @LittleK @WinnieBee: Did your LOs cry/fuss during their nighttime sleep? About 45 minutes after I put LO down, she cries. I usually go in to soothe her before she really gets worked up, and then she goes back down for about an hour. I just can't do CIO. I stand on the other side of the door and cry listening to her cry. But I desperately need more continuous sleep from her (at least for the first stretch).

  36. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @MsLipGloss: On occasion. I always wait at least 5 minutes before going in. I can usually tell if he needs intervention (ie, a bottle....if he is sick...rocking). At 4 months I started letting him cry a little. Especially if his wake up was early (like 30-45 minutes after putting him down). I knew I had met all of his needs and the only thing he needed was to learn how to fall back asleep on his own. Come 9 months he's not getting fed at night anymore, period.

  37. littlek

    GOLD / squash / 13576 posts

    @winniebee: If LO wakes up early, I give him about 20 minutes of constant crying and see if he will fall asleep again.. normally he will, if not, he's hungry..

    @MsLipGloss: the first time we did CIO he cried for 40 mins and then feel asleep. I've noticed if I go in to soothe LO he gets more worked up. If your LO is fed, they should be able to self soothe and fall asleep on their own. Does your LO have a lovey? B will entertain himself with his lovey and then fall asleep.

  38. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @littlek: He wakes cooing at 5, which to me signals he is awake for the day. I try to feed him right away and see if he wants to go back to sleep but he is eyes WIDE awake. Sigh.

  39. MsLipGloss

    GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts

    @LittleK: I am working on establishing a lovey, but she doesn't really have one yet (she is almost 5 months). Maybe tonight I can try to wait a few minutes before going in (if I say 5 minutes I don't know if I would last that long!) . . . usually she falls right back asleep after I pick her up and give her a pacifier (which she spits back out after a few seconds).

  40. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts

    @MsLipGloss: Loveys help- takes time for them to get used to them I think so a little time before the loveys actually soothe them. At first my LO used to just wrestle his and now he rubs it on his face and strokes it.

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