I feel so overwhelmed trying to balance everything. It doesn't help that DH and LO are sick, I started a new job, I was in San Diego for a work trip last week. Does this ever get easy? I am hoping to get into a routine but it's so hard when you keep getting curve balls thrown at you. I can't even find time to workout because I'm so exhausted by the time I get LO to bed. I won't even start on how behind I am relating to the holidays. Sorry, vent over.
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Yes. Totally overwhelmed. Honestly, since this is our second child I feel like my attitude this time around helps a lot. With our first child I was a SAHM and I was completely overwhelmed! This time around things are a lot harder, but my attitude is better (i.e. pretty much forget about decorating beautifully for the holidays, spend ONE DAY christmas shopping, send out christmas cards whenever we can even if they get there after christmas) so I'm not as overwhelmed. And of course forget about working out. Once LMW starts sleeping thru the night consistently we'll both start working out regularly again, but until then, I don't even think about it. It's one less thing to add to the pile that would overwhelm me if I let that pile build up!
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Yes. I don't know if it gets easier. I thought I was in a routine but then we all got nasty colds, followed by stomach bugs, and I have missed time from work. I am so behind at work, our house is a wreck, we are all sick, and I have no time to get holiday stuff done. I probably have to work this weekend to catch up from all the time I have missed. Also, my son went from sleeping through the night mostly to getting up at least once b/c of illness and I'm so sleep deprived. I'm not working out and feel like a cow. My husband is a surgery resident and I can't count on him for daycare drop off or pick up or to be around at bedtime or on weekends - it's all variable. So it's all on me and I'm drowning.
I totally sympathize with you. He's 7 months and I'm more tired than ever.
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YES YES YES. I feel like on a good day I can just barely get everything done. But if one little thing changes - stressful work project, DH gets home late, baby doesn't sleep well, cat gets sick, etc., I am fighting a losing battle. I feel like my life is so full of trying to get everything done I don't really get to sit back and enjoy it!
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Working full time and having an infant feels like walking across a tightrope. When things are going well, it’s tough but ok; but it only take one little thing (illness, large work project, holidays, any home project, one parent has to work late, dinner doesn’t work, etc.) to knock everything out of place.
We don’t have a Christmas tree yet and there is no time to work out (which doesn’t help with body image issues). I brought my Christmas cards to work this week and will try to address them throughout the day and my lunch hour to get them sent out. I run errands on my lunch hour now; grocery shop, etc. which actually helps out a lot.
It’s weird because LO sleeps through the night, and on paper I get enough sleep; but it never feels like it’s enough. I’m constantly tired and feel like I’m behind the ball, because I am.
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Yes, completely. If it wasn't for my husband, nothing would ever get done in our house. We decorated for Christmas but we only put inside stuff up. We gave up on putting outside lights up. I feel like a scrooge but really don't care. We've all been sick numerous times since I went back to work and that is killing us. I'm exhausted all the time and just dread Monday like crazy. We are doing solids now and that is adding to my stress because I'm worried I'm not giving her enough/the right things/she will choke. GAH. It is SO freaking overwhelming, it is not even funny. And that's with just one! I might just crawl under a table and cry if I had two.
Ugh.
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@mediagirl: I seriously doubt I'd be able to work if/ when we have 2.
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Yes Yes Yes. But take it one day at a time and just do the necessities.
There have been many days that there are dishes and laundry piled up and I haven't showed in a day and my hair is in a pony tail. But, I am at work, my daughter is at school, we are fed, and she is loved.
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@Thehistoryofus: That's a great point. Who cares if I'm sitting at my desk dressed like a frump and not wearing makeup : )
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Yes, I am. Especially because I seem to do almost everything. DH helps but usually only when I ask. I do wake up with LO (while trying to get ready for work) because DH leaves early. I do everything at night--her bath, feeding, playtime, bedtime. I make her food, prepare her bottles. I can barely shower or look cute anymore!
We're starting a nanny share in January and I think I am going to be even more pooped since I will have to get myself and LO ready and trek 15 minutes up a hill to drop LO off.
DH is getting a kick in the pants after Christmas because I feel like a single parent a lot. I have no idea how my mom raised 4 of us alone. Pure craziness.
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Absolutely normal! I constantly feel like I can't do a really good job at either parenting or work, not to mention that there is no such thing as "me time" anymore let alone "us time" with my husband.
I don't know how any of you amazing ladies can stay sane working full time, I barely have a handle on some things because I work part time.
Basically, my baby is happy, my husband is happy, and my boss is happy with me, I may not be thrilled with things that don't get done, but I seem to be the only one who sees it. We moms are our own biggest critics!
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@winniebee: I gave up on makeup awhile ago. I'm just happy to get out of the house in the morning without forgetting anything.
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I'm overwhelmed!! I can never get as many things done as I want and everything is constantly piling up. I forget at least one thing a day, but I'm starting to just worry less about it. There is nothing I can do. As long as we have food, a home, and time together everything else will just have to wait.
I would loooooove to work part time, and it may be an option in the future, but no matter what working and being a mom is hard!
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Oh I should mention that I work 4 days a week.....but still work at least 36 hours a week. The extra day at home is beyond helpful. Though then I have extra pressure at work the other days. Sigh.
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@littlek: I bring it to work and slap some on during a bathroom break, lol.
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I work 4.5 days, but still 40 hours
my 9 hour days are torturous. I get to go home at 12:15 today! Yay!
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I am SO worried about trying to juggle everything next summer (baby is due in March, and my maternity leave is up in June). I just cried about this on the drive into work this morning! It's comforting to hear that everyone else feels the same, but manages to get it all done anyway
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@yellowbird: Ugh! I leave the house at 7:30 and usually get home by 6. It's such.a.drain. Hurray for the weekend!
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This new job requires 9 hours a day, not including busy time. I had NO idea when I took this job I would be required to up my normal work week.
I cried to DH about it and he told me to "make it work." This of course comes from the man that doesn't do daycare drop offs or pick ups.
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Yes definitely its a very hard balance that I still havent mastered. And LO is nearly 8 months!
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Absolutely!
I told my husband this morning that, it took me almost a year, but I finally feel like I'm back in a groove. I got up, got her bottles, food and daycare bag ready, ran the dishwasher, made some coffee, ate breakfast, showered and got ready right before she woke up. Then I got her up, changed (2x!), dressed and fed and out the door on time.
It took me a until now to finally get through the morning without feeling stressed and running around like a maniac. Now,
I'm sure you're doing so much better than you think you are. Just do what you can, when you can. It takes a while to get into a different mindset, but once you do, things fall into place.
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Yes, I am going back to work in January and am so nervous about the morning shuffle. LO will be 6.5 months old by then, and even though I am worried, I look forward to rejoining the world of grownups.
I think staying at home for over 6 months had shown me that the SAHM life is not for me. So even though it will be hard and insanely overwhelming, I look forward to it.
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@littlek: My husband tends to not give much sympathy to my schedule, either, because he works even more than I do. He just says "it sucks, no one said being a parent would be easy." It's true but sometimes I just want him to join my pity party.
Part of my problem is LO is an early riser. He goes to bed at 7 and is up most days at 5. I can sometimes get him to go back to sleep for another hour, but it's hit or miss. So Usually when I'm getting ready/scrambling in the morning, he's awake, which makes it harder.
I think we all deserve to buy ourselves something nice for the holidays, lol.
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@winniebee: we definitely deserve it!!
I'm lucky because my hubby's commute is shorter than mine so he drops off and picks up from daycare most days. I still end up doing most of the morning stuff, but he was a huge help today because I overslept. I also left him no gas in his car, oops! I was bad today. He deserves a treat.
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I am terrified of how I am going to juggle work and baby. I graduate in May (career change), LO is due July 5, and I will start my first year teaching in late August. Teaching middle school is stressful. Having a newborn is stressful. I am so scared that I won't be able to handle both.
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@rahlyrah: Don't worry, you'll make it work. It just is a little bit of a struggle at times. I didn't mean to scare you. And congratulations!! That was my due date for LO, he came 6 weeks early though, so instead I have a May baby.
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@winniebee: Ouch, it is tough when they are awake when you are trying to get ready. Brennan wakes up at 6 am., so I get about 1/2 hour to get a shower in before I turn my attention to him.
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My little guy is 20 months and I have a very flexible schedule and I still feel completely overwhelmed. Working out is a pipe dream. I used to Crossfit but none of the workouts fit my schedule so no more. We have great care for him so we can send him to her in pajamas and she will dress him. The past two month my husband has been getting ready for a shot (test at work). So that means crazy amounts of overtime and so I became a single mom just as I was grading finals. His test was a success yesterday so he better start stepping up this weekend. My house is a disaster!
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I'm feeling all the pain of everyone.. it's so hard in the very early days. My DS is now 15 mo (DD is 4) and things are definitely getting better, so take heart! It gets easier. It doesn't get EASY but it gets easier. Also, I feel like a battle scarred warrior, but I'm proud of my battle scars
I told my DH last night that my career has taken a backburner this year (as evident from this year's raise), but it was worth it. So hang in there guys. I'll let you know how I feel when I hit the terrible twos.
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It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling. E is 6 months, and between work and my commute I'm out of the house 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. I average about 6 hours of sleep a night so I'm constantly tired, which means my works suffers and I'm ready to crash by the time I get home, which means my time with E suffers. It sucks, and it makes me so upset sometimes. Good news is that we are working on updating our house to sell it so we can move closer to my family which should allow me to have a normal person commute. But that process will take about a year and I will have missed so much of E's time as a baby. The sleep deprivation, the guilt, the feeling of letting everything slip... ugh, it just eats away at me.
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Yeah, I'm pretty terrified of all this. I'll be working full time + taking a graduate class online when baby is born
I have a great DH who I know will be supportive/helpful but still... preeetty freaked out.
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thanks everyone for posting their experiences. i am terrified as well--my husband and i both have long commutes and i'm worried about what our lives are going to look like when i go back to work.
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To add a postive spin, so I don't scare working moms to be.... I want to add that I love my little guy, he's the most amazing person I've ever met and he is my world and I don't regret at all being a working mom. I love the challenge of working and I love being a mom.
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I agree that being a working mom can be very rewarding. I wouldn't trade my son for the world. He's the light of my life!!!!
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I'm bumping this for some support. We all have had yet another stomach bug and I just feel like I'm in quicksand. Always behind. I want to throw in the towel at work.
Anyone having a hard time lately?
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@winniebee - thanks for bumping this, I dont know how I missed it the first time around! I'm joining the vent as DH left this morning for an entire week for work....UGH!! My biggest worry is that we'll get a huge snowstorm and I'll be stuck trying to care for DS (6 months) and shovel, I'm not even entertaining the idea of anyone getting sick. That suuuucks that you are all sick (again?)...is anyone sleeping in your house?
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@WinnieBee: *raises hand* Me. I am totally overwhelmed and feel like I am "goin off the rails on a crazy train."
Being a working mom is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Tasks that used to be so quick and simple like making a quick meal ( and I am talking about mac and cheese here) or doing a load of laundry (forget about completing the cycle by folding!) now seem so monumental. And O.M.G. with washing bottles and pump parts . . . it totally feels like Ground Hog Day.
LO is still waking frequently at night, and, starting 2ish weeks ago, I went from getting one 4 hour stretch of sleep a night to getting one 2-3 hour stretch a night, and sometimes not even that (like last night).
I am *so* behind at work. I leave the house around 7:30/8:00 and try to be home between 5:30 and 6:00 (which is insanely hard to do!) only to turn around a start putting LO down for bed around 7:00 (shooting for a 7:30 bedtime). By the time I get home, change clothes, feed LO, and put her down to sleep, it is 8 p.m., I haven't eaten, I haven't washed any bottles or pump parts (I have *10* sets of pump parts for this reason!), I haven't done any laundry, etc.
And on the weekends, even though I do manage to get a few things done, I am just in recover mode and trying to recharge to do it all again the next week.
I could go on, but I think that is plenty for now. I seriously give all mamas mad props because any way you slice it, motherhood is tough! Beautiful and rewarding, for sure, but exhausting too.
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YES!!! I think I'm going to quit my job. I'm in the process of interviewing again. My new boss is so unsupportive and inflexible and she's making my life miserable. Everytime I go home I cry to DH. I work a core 50 hours from the office, however, I need to work more overtime and she refuses to give me any flexibility in where I can work overtime. She insists I work it from the office eventhough she isn't there. I have a son to pick up from daycare, I can't spend 12 hours a day in the office... I'm so frustrated..
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@littleK: are you serious?? that is horrible! best of luck with the job hunt....flexibility is key to sanity!
@mslipgloss: i hear you. i feel like it's groundhog day during the week. the only good thing about DH being gone for a week is that i can eat cereal for dinner without feeling guilty that i didnt cook something, hahaha.
anyone else ever wonder how working moms ever find the time to exercise on a regular basis? DS sleeps relatively well but I still dont have the time or energy to get up early enough to hop on the elliptical.
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@WinnieBee: I am so, so sorry to hear that your LO (and your family!) is sick again. I have been lucky to only have one bad round with LO (at 8 weeks) . . . I can't imagine dealing with it so often!
I totally get the quicksand feeling . . . I had a deposition yesterday and I really felt like I wasn't physically up to the task (just too tired to think clearly or quickly!). I feel like I have work vertigo, and that thoughts float around in my head in an amorphous, impossible-to-prioritize state. My head feels so full but so unfocused.
I don't know that we will have a second, but if we do, I don't think I could keep this up.
my 9 hour days are torturous. I get to go home at 12:15 today! Yay!
I have a great DH who I know will be supportive/helpful but still... preeetty freaked out.
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