So I'm officially the worst friend ever. At least I feel that way. I just need to "talk" to some people other than my DH who may understand my reaction. Here's what happened:
I have three best friends from college, and we are only able to get together every few months. We are all in the same life stage: married with babies on our minds. One friend is about the give birth; the other two, like me, have struggled to get pregnant. It has been an emotional rollercoaster for everyone. Friend #1 had a miscarriage last year, but she dealt with it surprisingly well. She took it as a sign that her body was not ready and she needed to work on her health. Friend #2 had a miscarriage in August, and she did not work through it in the same way. She was extremely depressed (rightfully so). I'm on my 8th cycle of trying with no apparent problems in sight - ovulation, perfectly timed periods and I'm not sure why it hasn't happened yet. My pregnant friend has felt tremendous guilt that she's had a successful pregnancy.
Well this weekend, Friend #1 and Friend #2 came into town. We skyped with our pregnant friend, and as we took a group photo (showing our friend on the computer screen - we're silly like that), Friend #1's husband announced "Friend #1 is pregnant!" We were shocked! She was scheduled to go on Clomid next month so it is wonderful news. Then Friend #2 pipes up, "Hey me too!"
The reaction I should have had: "OMG I'm so excited!" with lots of hugs and happiness.
The reaction I actually had: crying. lots of crying and blubbering about what the hell is wrong with me that I can't even seem to get pregnant. I think I even said something about yeah your miscarriages sucked ass but at least you know now your bodies do work properly and you can get pregnant. I haven't so much as seen a positive symptom or pregnancy test. I normally would never, ever say something like that, but in the moment it was so overwhelming and I didn't really have a clear mind. All I could focus on is the fact that my three best friends are going to be moms and I don't get to be a part of that in the same way. I think if I had gotten the news separately I would have controlled my emotions way better.
I think they understood and I didn't hurt their feelings...at least they didn't say that. I asked and I would hope they would be truthful. The next morning I asked if I could have a do-over and we talked about names and birth plans and all sorts of stuff.
Has anyone out there had a similar reaction? Or have you been on the flip side and received a reaction like mine after announcing your pregnancy?