Here we go for the win:
Let's say you gave your friend free USED baby stuff, but your friend still has similar (same function, different brand/ color) gear on their registry/ baby list. Are you offended?
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I don't understand the question? Can you elaborate?
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Like if I bought brand x and they register for y? Probably not unless it was a very particular thing. Even with big stuff I would assume they want two not that mind was inadequate.
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Do you mean, if you registered for x, and you received a hand me down of x, and X is then sill on the registry?
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I'm confused. Do you mean, like, they gave an item to you that they "didn't need", but had registered for a different brand??
Or.... If you handed down an item and then saw the recipient had still registered for the item, just a different brand?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Can you explain?
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I think she means, you register for brand Y of baby bottles for example. A friend buys you brand X baby bottles. You still leave brand Y baby bottles on your registry because you're hoping someone still gets it for you because that's what you really want.
Is that it?
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I don't understand question either. But in general, I don't get offended by gifts from friends.
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I think it's two separate you's that's making it confusing?
Is the scenario something like this: I gave you my spare Chicco stroller and you sent me your baby list and it had the same basic stroller on it, but made by Britax.
Assuming it was a hand-me-down, I would probably be surprised, but not really offended. Mainly because I would have expected my friend to tell me that they didn't need it / want it. You have preferences - we all do - and you have the right to express those. I would just be annoyed that you took my thing and didn't just say - "hey, I really want a Britax, but thanks!"
If it was a new purchase... I don't know. It depends on how well I knew the friend, etc. I sometimes will see X on a registry and think, "oh they are interested in an X, but I know Y is a much better product" - I'll then give Y and explain in a note that I saw they wanted X, but we had such a great experience with Y.
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I want a Keekaroo changer and have it on my list. A friend gave me her "traditional" changing pad that requires changing covers.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: absolutely not! I'm assuming she was using it for her baby and now no longer needs it? Free = good!
If you don't like it, don't use it. Or you can always save it and still leave the Keekaro on your registry. If you live on more than one level, having two pads would be useful in the beginning when you change diapers 245x a day. 
oh wait, are you asking if you left the keekaro on the list if your friend would be offended? Nah. If she's a parent she'll know it'll be beneficial to have two.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I see your updated question, no it would not!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Ok, no I dont think I would be offended since that is kinda different. If she asks just say, well it was recommended to me and I thought I wanted to see in person to see which style worked best for us.
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I wouldn't be offended if I gave you a hand-me-down, and you registered for a similar product.
I recently unloaded a bunch of baby gear on one of my friend's. If she wants brand new of all the same stuff, I don't care!! I'm just happy she took my old stuff off my hands, haha.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Just say that you could always use a second and you appreciate her generosity -- assuming she asks. I would only be annoyed (not offended) if it was a big thing that I could have given to another friend. A changing pad that uses covers is like $10, if that.
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@LBee: In my case I am letting my pals know exactly what I have picked out and want- brand, color- before I reluctantly accept their items. They seem to be all to happy to get the stuff out of their home into mine.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Then you're good to go!
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I don't really understand, but I consider all gifts as a bonus!
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@LBee: ok, then should I have accepted the high chair, pack n play, and pretty soon a soft structured carrier?
DH says a coworker told him the pack n play can be used to keep baby contained while he works out. I doubt that will happen since the music would be way too loud.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Totally not offended!!!! And we just bought our house, and now that we have multiple levels it's nice having an extra one like @regberadaisy: said!
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Not even a little bit! Either tell them in case they want to give it to someone else, or just donate it. Because you are right... They just want it out of their house! I can't tell you the number of hand me downs I received from sisters and cousins... Most came with "if you don't want it, donate it"
ETA... I agree it's nice to have changing stations on each floor of your house!
We have 2 jumper roo type things... One upstairs that is perfect for when I'm showering and one downstairs. (Both hand me downs) -
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I am far from Miss Manners, but I think if you don't want them, don't take them. I'm fairly upfront with people. Unless you have tons of levels or would like a spare, as previous posters have mentioned.
Do your parents live near? We have lots of duplicates over there. We honestly have spare space so I would take all those duplicates just to have a pack and play to leave in my trunk for when we go to friend's etc.
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No; don't overthink this. Buy what you want. I don't think anyone assumes that if they give you something, that means you have to remove any related item you already registered for from your registry. Even items with the same function (like bottles) can work very differently IRL.
Just do you - don't stress so much about what others might think. Enjoy this time!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: she probably used the one she gave you and liked it and that is why she chose it for you.
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I wouldn't be offended at all, but if you really don't want something, say no thank you!
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@regberadaisy: I can totally see how two changing pads will be useful. The traditional one is encased in wipeable plastic, so I may not even have to get covers for it since it'll just be a spare anyway.
@LBee: I tried very politely to decline. By the time babe gets here I may not really care that the high chair is made of plastic and not wood tone to match our tables. I'll just be happy it's here. The pack n play thing is definitely going to my mom's house, but I'm not sure she will know what to do with it. She didn't use them with her kids, which is probably why I didn't pick one out either.
@yoursilverlining: ha ha, thanks. I'm trying to!
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@mediagirl: These aren't new items, these are things my friends with 1.5-2 year olds no longer need. You bring up a good point because if someone were to give me a brand new Boppy because they had such good experience with it, I probably wouldn't remove the Dr. Brown's Gia pillow I put on my list after researching the best pillows.
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I can see someone getting offended. I completely understand the question- what if someone gave you a wooden rocker but you register for a rocker more your style. It depends who you are dealing with, but yes, I can see some people getting offended.
You have to do what you need for you though!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: so I just read your updated post.
I would not be offended! Your friend probably knows this but...you can always use more of everything! So if you get the one you want, and you have the one from her, super duper. Keep one downstairs and one up. Or keep one on hand in case the other has to dry from being cleaned (poopsplosions).
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I wouldn't take anything that you really don't think you will use or need. I gave a bunch of baby stuff (gear and clothes) to a family member and found out later that a lot of it went unused. She bought so much baby stuff herself (like beyond more than would ever be needed) and I think generally wasn't a fan of using second-hand items. Which is totally fine but I was slightly annoyed because I would have rather given it to someone else who would appreciate and used everything! We later gave other things to another friend who was truly in need and I wish I would have had more to give to her.
That being said, I don't think I would be offended if someone registered for something similar that I offered to give. As previous posters have pointed out, some things it is helpful to have multiples of (bouncy seats, swaddlers, nursing pillows, bottles) for different areas of your house or to try out different kinds.
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At some point you have to be honest with people if you dont think you'll need it or if you have your heart set on something else.
Because I do try to resell some of my stuff unless I have a friend that needs it. So yes, I would be a bit miffed if I gave you a nice hand me down high chair and then you registered for a different one (I dont see why anyone would need 2 high chairs).
ETA - If you did accept something hand me down and decide you want a different version, I would be honest with the friend and just say, Hey, I realized I wanted some different features on the high chair so we are going to register for one and wont need yours. Do you want yours back or do you want me to just pass it on?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I wouldn't be offended, no. I give all my used items away with the instruction to use what they want and bin/donate the rest.
If it was an expensive item, say a pushchair, I might prefer the recipient to be honest with me so I can sell on Ebay, but a change pad - no way!
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Ok it sounds like depending on the gear, some things still on the registry/ baby list would be offensive and some thing wouldn't be. Ugh!
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@T.H.O.U.: Ha! We posted similar thoughts at the same time! I totally agree on the honesty piece, I think that definitely would have helped my situation.
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@Cherrybee: and it all started with a pushcar/ stroller in fact! That was the first offer. LOL Thankfully, that ended up being broken and unusable because it was definitely not one I had been coveting.
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No, because you registered for what you really want, and while something can be similar in function, there are still differences. But I were getting you the gift I would've asked if you want it first.
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Nah, I wouldn't be offended. But I definitely took a lot of free stuff. I'm glad I did, because it gets reaaally expensive reaaally fast and I didn't end up caring about half of what I thought I would. I (and I think a lot of moms) end up caring less about colors or whatever after seeing how briefly your kid uses it so free or consigned are awesome. That being said, I was gifted a boppy and ended up buying a BrestFriend, gifted a stroller and got a different one from my registry and bought a BOB later, etc...
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No, definitely a different type of pad. LOVE the keekaroo
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@T.H.O.U.: @Veggiemama: I tried to be honest without coming off like a jerk. The fact that people are willing to give me stuff feels awesome- I'm so appreciative by the love. At the moment, I just still would rather have the items I spent hours researching and reading reviews and visualizing using with my baby in my home. The baby is still months away, so people know that we don't have things yet and "need" things. I think it's difficult for a mom to hear the gear she picked out isn't universally wanted.
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Another option is no registry, that way no one could know?
If you don't like it, don't use it. Or you can always save it and still leave the Keekaro on your registry. If you live on more than one level, having two pads would be useful in the beginning when you change diapers 245x a day. 
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