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I think it's fine to say to somebody "I so appreciate your generosity but I really have my heart set on x, so somebody else could probably get more use out of it." My friend offered me her old black Ergo when I was pregnant with my first but I really wanted a prettier pattern. She seemed pretty surprised that I'd spend money on something I could get for free but we're different that way. I don't think she was offended, she just sold it on Kijiji instead.
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No. I totally understand wanting new stuff especially for a first baby, or in the color or pattern you prefer. I declined everyone's offer of used gear. If they're offended it's not my problem. I graciously thanked them for the generous offer.
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I don't give gifts with expectations, so I wouldn't be offended. I sent a good friend who was due soon and thought she would breastfeed a HUGE box of all my nursing stuff, different nursing pillows, nursing covers, unused storage bags, etc etc. She realized within 2 weeks that she wouldn't nurse, would use formula. Am I offended? No. I just assume she sent those things on to someone who could use them.
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@Greentea: I haven't shared it with either of the friends with free stuff. Neither asked for it, but that doesn't mean they won't stumble across it. The list was created for DH and I- I like the visualization of it and eventually I will create two more registries just so I can use the completion discounts. Since I have received two requests from other people for registry info I shared it because clearly they want to gift the baby and that's cool.
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it would not offend me. but if it was a bigger item, i would appreciate if the friend returned or declined so i could sell or give it to someone else.
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Nope. Wouldn't be offended. My girlfriends gave me a LOT of hand me down stuff. I was grateful for all of it, but used what I needed and handed down the rest to someone else I knew who needed it. My friends didn't want it back so if I didn't need it back so I was free to do with it what I wanted.
You're not guaranteed anything from your list. I'd keep the stuff until you see what you get at your shower. You may end up needing some of it. Free stuff is fantastic.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Private list and just share with certain people, but obviously you know what you want to do/ are doing. I was just thinking, it may come in handy- there are times when we thought of getting two changers and using one for the car! Now that we are in a townhouse we probably will get another for upstairs. I get it, I researched forever to find exactly what I thought was best. Love my naturepedic changer!!!!
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Didn't read the whole thread. Just say you're using one for grandmas house or something like that.
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Wouldn't be offended at all. I might be a little annoyed if it was something big that I could have given to someone else or sold, and the friend just chucked it out. But even then, if I give something away, I really don't care if you use it or not- I understand having a preference for something specific!
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48 comments