...the stepdaughter of your estranged BIL? DH and his brother haven't spoken in over 5 years (initiated by BIL). BIL recently remarried and lives in an adjacent state with his new wife and her 8-y.o. daughter. BIL also has an 8 yo daughter from his first marriage, whom we've seen fairly regularly since MIL basically has joint custody of her. We haven't met BIL's stepdaughter, nor are we likely to. We always buy gifts for our niece and technically stepdaughter is our niece too. Would you get her a Christmas gift as well? MIL would have to give it to her when they visit her.
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Would your niece receive your gift while she is with her stepsister? In that case, I think it would be nice. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't since you don't know her at all and don't expect a relationship anytime soon.
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If you weren't getting one for yoru bio niece, I would say no, but since you are, I'd probably try to send a small gift through your MIL. Blended families are tough! And estranged, blended families are tougher!
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@JenGirl: agree.
The gift doesn't have to be big or expensive. Who knows an unexpected gift may be the catalyst to BIL reconciling with your husband. If that doesn't happen you made an 8 year old feel special. No one loses.
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I'd probably send something small
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Agree with all the posts so far- it's really thoughtful of you to consider the girl'S feelings in this circumstance. If you think it wold really make your BIL mad and want to avoid that, maybe just ask MIL to give your niece's gift privately.
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I say get them a variation of the same gift.
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Yes. If you gift the niece, gift the step-niece similarly.
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@MOMTOLITTLEB: I don't know if they will come up for Christmas, but that is a good thing to consider.
To everyone else, thanks for your thoughts. I will definitely get both girls the same thing or something similar.
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8 comments