DS was invited to a birthday party for a girl in his preschool class. The entire class was included. We have no conflict with the day or time and it is literally right down the street. My isue is with the girl/her family. DS met this girl the summer before school started when she was picking on him at our neighborhood playground. She and her brother were pushing him around and kept taking his hat off him. Their mom was sitting right there watching and did nothing. The kids are huge for their age and DS is small so it was not even like DS could stand his own against them. I recently became friends with someone who knows the family and she didn't hold back saying that is typical, if not mild behavior for these kids. In school the girl has tried to hit DS with wooden blocks and he always tells me she won't play with him, takes his toys, etc. So given that relationship I am leaning towards not going
BUT there are other kids in the class that DS loves and would be so excited to spend extra time with. So I am kind of on the fence thinking that if some of his best friends go we should too. I'm torn. What would you do?
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Wow what a tough situation. I’m actually not sure what I would do. I would probably go with feeling. If you talked to the parents of the kids did you have a gut feeling? My kids haven’t gone to school yet so I’m not sure how school parties are like. I’m sure you will have to interact a little bit with the birthday family but not sure how much.
If my gut didn't like them... I would probably not go.. which I'm leaning towards.
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Family time on the weekend is soooo precious to me. It's the only 2 days per week we all get to hang out. If there's resentment, or you have a bad feeling about the situation, why waste your time? Your LO likely won't even know about it ... and if you feel like having time with his classmates outside of school is important, you could always have a play date at your house another weekend.
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There's a mean girl in the preschool class before T's baby gymnastics class and she picks on him whenever paths happen to cross. Like your situation, her mom just watches as she runs in front of him and won't let him on equipment out of meanness. I wouldn't go to her party no matter who was there. Lol
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I wouldn't go...bc you have to take time out to get a gift, pay for the gift, etc. I'm petty like that
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@Raindrop: Yeah, the mom and I have never actually spoken. I normally only see her bringing the kids into school as we are driving away. I'll try to chat with her next week to see. Our mutual friend says she is frustrated with the behavior issues so who
@littlejoy: Good point about making playdates! We can definitely try that too regardless of whether we go or not. Thanks for the suggestion.
@artsyfartsy: That is what I am thinking but I don't want DS to feel left out. He probably won't even know about it though.
@misolee: Haha I was actually thinking I'd buy the most obnoxious toy I could find and delight in it. -
Nope, not going!
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I'd go briefly, feel it out.
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Is your son old enough to ask what he wants to do?
I probably would skip it because it sounds like the entire family is just not nice.
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I'd probably go. I wouldn't want him to feel left out. That kind of further isolates him maybe, in a way? You will be there, so you can stay a short while and keep an eye on things, right?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I asked and he kind of ignored the question and finally said "not right now". By comparison with other friends' parties he would ask everyday, multiple times if it was time to go yet. I guess that is telling!
@Greentea: Yes, we have small neighborhood schools so they will be together for a long time. It is probably a good idea to get them to be friends, maybe?
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I would ask him and if he's not interested skip it. But I try really hard not to label kids as mean or bad for doing things that kids sometimes do. It's all a part of growing up. Its just a birthday party...if you don't like the way things go you can always duck out early.
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@Mrs. Lion: I don't think I ever said she was mean or bad? I just am not a fan of how she has treated my son on several occasions and how her mother reacted to it at least one instance.
In any case, thanks everyone for the opinions! It makes me feel like I'm justified for not going.
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@skipra: Sorry! I didn't mean to imply that you had. I was just saying that in general I try to assume that when kids do things like that it isn't because they are mean/bad all the time, just that they might have been exhibiting bad behavior at that moment. I was just explaining my decision making process, not making an accusation. Sorry for the confusion.
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@Mrs. Lion: Oh ok! Thanks for clarifying and I 100% agree. My kids are not perfect angels and have certainly exhibited bad behaviors too! I try not to judge but he was super upset after the playground incident so it makes me a lot more defensive with this one family.
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I'd probably skip it. Maybe it's petty but I wouldn't want to give a gift to a kid that wasn't nice to my LO. There will be plenty of other parties to go to
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I would go. Sounds like it will be fun for your son to see his friends.
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Personally I would want to skip it and try to get a play date with the kids that DS likes to play with. I would ask my child what they would like to do considering the circumstances. Since they were invited I think they have a say.
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