Tough one! I was the easy baby and my younger brother was the hard one. My mom sent me to live with my aunt for a month after my brother was born because he was so difficult (and we were only 14 months apart).
I think if I had to choose, I'd want the difficult baby first since it'd be easier to deal with a difficult baby with just one. But that might make me really scared to have another!
Which would you prefer?
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I would definitely rather have the hard one first. As you said, it's easier to handle a difficult baby when you don't also have a toddler to deal with. I think having a tough first one would possibly delay how quickly we have a second one, but I don't think it would stop me.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I'd want the hard one first. Than you can put all of your attention and energy into it. LO was pretty rough because of her reflux.... so I'm hoping #2 won't be so bad.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
Probably the hard one first, although I suppose it depends on the gap between the two. If they are around 5 years apart, then I wouldn't mind having the hard one second because I would have had a chance to ease into parenthood with number 1 and learn the ropes before having to be 'superwoman' with number 2.
squash / 13199 posts
Harder baby second, because then I wont be overwhelmed with the newness of everything and I'll know that this is just a difficult baby rather than blame myself as a first time mom
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I think my LO was kinda hard -- which has scared me off having another so that's not so good. But I still think that it is better to have the harder one first. You already get your ass kicked with the first one no matter what so I'd rather get most of the pain out of the way and then have an easy second one.
honeydew / 7968 posts
i'm with you. get the difficult one over with. but yeah, i can see how that would turn me off from having another kid!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I was the easy baby, my brother was the colicky crier. If it were me, I'd want the more difficult baby first. Being that I know my mom will be nearby for our first in the fall... It will make it easier... ? Lol
pomegranate / 3388 posts
Definitely the easy one first. Otherwise I think I'd be totally scared away from having more kids after that. So many of our friends have had their easy baby first, and I really hope we're the same way.
pear / 1837 posts
@Mrsbells: Exactly.
I was paranoid enough with my easy baby, I think I would have had a breakdown if he'd been colicky. I think having been through it once now makes me a lot more relaxed about baby stuff and now I have some perspective that would make me better suited to coping with a difficult baby.
persimmon / 1202 posts
Easy first. My mom said if I'd been her first, I would've been her last, as I screamed for hours on end for my first two years. To know that it's not me, it's the baby, would be better than to think I was a failure of a parent.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
LO, my first, was hard and I'm very glad for it. Now I know I can get through anything!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Hard first, then easy. LO was relatively easy, so if #2 if hard.. -.-
persimmon / 1465 posts
Difficult choice! I'd worry if I had the hard one first that there wouldn't be a second. My LO is an easy baby. If we have a second and it's a hard baby then at least I will have some idea what I am doing and that it's not just my crummy parenting!
pea / 15 posts
I'm thinking easy first, so I'd know the ropes before getting thrown a tough one.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I think easy one first so it doesn't discourage me from having more kids.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
If this baby is difficult, we are DEFINITELY only having one. If he's easy, we might--just maybe--try for another.
coconut / 8299 posts
Oooh, tough question. I think I would want easy first because at least I'll have a little bit of experience under my belt before tackling #2. Plus if we had a difficult #1, I don't know if we would even go for #2. My LO was a pretty easy baby so I'm kind of fearful that our 2nd one will be crazy hard!
grapefruit / 4056 posts
I think I would want the difficult one first ... because dealing with a difficult baby when you have another child would be 100x worse!
pear / 1554 posts
I'd want the difficult baby first since it would be way too hard to handle a difficult baby if you have another baby/toddler to look after as well.
pineapple / 12793 posts
I'll take the easy baby first so I don't doubt my mothering skills and hopefully I'll be better prepared to handle the terror.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
difficult first because like others said, it would be much harder to deal with a toddler plus a difficult baby...
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