Would You Sacrifice Space for Safety?

By mrsjazz Sep 9, 2012

DH and I are moving at the end of this month. We currently live in Bedford-Stuyvesant and although the area is gentrifying (I have a love/hate relationship with gentrification) it is not where I'd like it to be safety wise. LO is 4.5 months and we've heard gunshots *on our block* twice. One night DH had to drop to the floor! There are a host of other reasons I don't feel safe (the men that approach me daily) so we're moving.

The problem is that 2 brs. in the safer neighborhoods of BK would make things quite tight money wise and we wouldn't be able to save after rent, student loans, and the nanny. Our plan was to buy a coop/condo in a nice neighborhood by the time LO is 4. We can afford a 1 br. in a nice neighborhood but that will mean much less space.

Would you sacrifice space for safety?

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21 comments

MamaMoose
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts

Sep 9, 2012

In general yes... But in your specific situation I think I'd choose the nicer 2br rental even though it will make money tight. I can't imagine living in a one bedroom with a baby.
regberadaisy
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts

Sep 9, 2012

Absolutely!!!!!

The second I hear gunshots I'm SO out of there!!!

What about Queens to open up more options?
banana
coconut / 8299 posts

Sep 9, 2012

Yes for sure! Safety is #1 in my book. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I was constantly worried about our safety. There are just somethings that money can't buy..health and safety being #1!
mrbee
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts

Sep 9, 2012

I would sacrifice safety for myself, but not for the family... and hearing gunshots is scary stuff!!
mrsjazz
coconut / 8234 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@regberadaisy: My DH won't even entertain Queens as a thought. His commute would be hell.

@MamaMoose: This is what we keep going back and forth on. Right now we have a 2br, but the 2br is primarily storage and LO co-sleeps with us, but we planned on moving her to her crib in the next apartment. I've been on Apartment Therapy all day looking at how people in similar situations did the one bedroom with baby.

We have to make a decision soon and we both have no idea which way to go.
mrsjazz
coconut / 8234 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@mrbee: Yes, it was super scary...and twice! And this neighborhood always seems to be on the news for someone getting shot. Ugh! I never cared about it as much before LO but now it's my main concern.
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Sep 9, 2012

In your situation, I would be OUT of there. I'd live in a 1bedroom, even if it was really tight, rather than live in an area where I, my LO, or my DH are at risk of being hurt! I'm guessing you've looked in all areas of Brooklyn, like Fort Greene, Greenpoint, Prospect Heights, etc? Maybe a 1bedroom with a den/office space that can be used for a crib? Or even a big closet can be used for baby to sleep in!
regberadaisy
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@hilsy85: makes a good point! Baby is still young she'll be fine in a seperate "space" not so much another bedroom.

Does he drive is that why?

What neighborhoods have you looked at?
mrsjazz
coconut / 8234 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@hilsy85: Thanks! My DH thinks I'm crazy for wanting to move. He's a weirdo and possibly a daredevil. And yes, we've looked at all those neighborhoods. Fort Greene would be our dream neighborhood but we definitely would not be able to save a penny if we lived there and that is very important to us.

1br. with a den or office would be nice.
photojane
cantaloupe / 6164 posts

Sep 9, 2012

i was thinking the same as @hilsy85. i'd try to find a 1br in a safer area with some extra room. whether it's a large closet/storage space, office or den. even if the space doesn't have a door, there are lots of creative solutions.
mrsjazz
coconut / 8234 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@regberadaisy: No, he doesn't drive--if he did we wouldn't have this problem. The school he works at is in the boonies of Brooklyn--but an even worse neighborhood than Bed-Stuy with not great access to train lines--there's only one train line near his school and it sucks!

We have looked at Fort Greene, Prospect Heights, Williamsburg, Carroll Gardens, Clinton Hill, Park Slope, Kensington, Parkville, Windsor Terrace, Ditmas Park, and Midwood. Whew! We've seen about 20 apartments in the past couple of weeks. We're seeing a 1br in Ditmas Park tomorrow night that has about the same square footage as our current 2br--hoping it pans out...we're running out of time!
Mrs. Jacks
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts

Sep 9, 2012

I'd go 1 br, I think to save for your co-op/condo goal. We did 1 br with Lala for the first few months and while it was tight it wasn't impossible. We didn't have an exersaucer with her and skipped the changing table and that saved a lot on space. Keep your eye on the ultimate prize :). Best of luck!
plantains
grapefruit / 4671 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@mrsjazz: go for the 1 bdr, you can definitely do it. We used to live in Fort Greene but now live in LIC to save money to buy a 2 bdr. We have the baby in our bedroom and it is fine. We are saving money to buy 2 bedrooms because renting a 2 bedroom in Fort Greene would have been waaaaaay to expensive to allow us to save enough.

I'd suggest Greenpoint as an option because it is reasonable, but my DH used to teach in Brownsville while living in Greenpoint and the commute was ridiculous.
mrsjazz
coconut / 8234 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@plantains: My DH teaches in Brownsville!

I love Fort Greene. One day...
plantains
grapefruit / 4671 posts

Sep 9, 2012

@mrsjazz: wow, small world! I wonder if it is the same school...
Baby Boy Mom
pomegranate / 3983 posts

Sep 9, 2012

I would definitely sacrifice space for safety! Actually that's why we live in the (too) expensive neighborhood that we do- because it's safe enough that I feel comfortable taking LO out on walks. I think the 1 br w/office space would be the perfect solution, if you can find a place...Good luck!
PurplePumps
pomegranate / 3809 posts

Sep 9, 2012

Wow, sorry, but you couldn't pay me to live in a neighborhood where I could hear gun shots going off, especially with a baby. There's just too much to risk. My parents had a 1 bedroom with me until I was 4 and we moved to a house... I don't remember it being so young, but it can certainly be done. I'd put up with a smaller space and be able to space, than to be house totally house poor. It might be tight, but I rather be cozy, than worry about every dime being spent, especially if that means less savings toward a future home purchase too.
hummusgirl
persimmon / 1233 posts

Sep 9, 2012

I'd definitely sacrifice space for safety. We spend so much time out and about (like most in NYC), we saw the neighborhood as an extension of our apartment. I tried to be frugal during our search, but in the end that went out the window as we fell in love with a place above what we'd wanted to spend. I'm hoping it'll work out with a combination of saving in other areas and postponing buying for a few more years - though we're in a different situation because we're not sure we ever want to own property...we're very happy renting!
SAHM0811
grapefruit / 4049 posts

Sep 10, 2012

Our first DD was in our room til 15 months. We had a 1 bdrm and put up a divider screen. We then moved to a 2 bdrm, but then hired a live-in nanny and gave the 2nd room to her. So DD was in our room til 2.5 yo! That's when we let the live-in go and she started preschool full-time. Having a 1 bdrm with a baby or even a toddler in NYC is more common than people think... Like you said, there are creative solutions! A divider screen was just fine for us.

I'm all for having a smaller space to save money in the long run. We purge a lot and try to keep things simple and not buy a lot of things that just take up space and our budget.

Stay safe and good luck apt hunting!
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Sep 10, 2012

What if you used the living room as a bedroom, with a divider and used the bedroom as a living room? Or, just sacrifice the living room and make that your bedroom and use the true bedroom for your LO.

Usually apartments have a bigger living space than bedroom, so I'd try that and see if it works. A good, inexpensive divider is the biggest Expedit bookcase IKEA makes...it's huge and I've seen it done on a lot of home design shows. Plus it is extra storage!
pastemoo
cantaloupe / 6146 posts

Sep 10, 2012

I would move.
My LO's "nursery" is part of the living room. A 1br with space for baby is totally doable.

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