My grandma is in hospice and sadly I don't think she'll make it much longer. Of course I don't want to bring her to a funeral but if the service is during the week, I'm not so sure I'll be able to get a baby sitter. She's only 9 1/2 months old so she won't know what's going on, plus I think it would be nice for everyone to see her sweet face during such a sad time. And my grandma loves her so much, her eyes light up every time we visit. So I'm thinking I might just end up bringing her. What would you do?
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Sorry to hear about your grandma..
I probably wouldn't take my LO to a funeral. I don't think she could sit quietly through the service and would probably be a distraction.
I would do what feels right to you though. -
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
I personally wouldn't take him to a funeral simply because like @chopsuey119 he wouldn't be quiet enough.
I think it depends on the family too. What do your parents think? -
I took my daughter to my grandmother's funeral at about that age. It honestly didn't cross my mind to me not to, it was a family occasion and she's part of the family. If she fusses just stand up and walk with her at the back of the room? Unless she's very noisy, people will understand. Babies make a little noise but usually no one minds.
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I think that I would. I agree with @Hanasu & don't think that any of my family would mind. I think she might actually be comforting to see if anything happened & we did need to go to one.
I'm sorry that this is something that you're having to consider.
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I'm sorry about your grandmother
I took LO to my grandma's funeral and he brightened the day a bit. I wouldn't take him to anyone else's funeral other than my close family though. LO's understand tears and can sense sadness but as long as they aren't too noisy, I don't see a problem with it. -
@artbee I just took my LO to her great granddad's funeral this week. The family loved it and said hearing a baby coo was wonderful. At the very end I had to sneak out but she was great for so long. Her 22 month old cousin did great too.
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@artbee: I'm so sorry about your grandma. As it turns out, my grandma is in the hospital right now, and she will be returning home to start on hospice care tomorrow. We don't expect her to last very long either. So this is a very real question that I am facing right now too. Under normal circumstances I think I would take my baby to the funeral, since it's a very close family member's funeral that you probably don't want to miss. I'm not sure that I'll make it to my grandma's funeral though b/c it's all the way across the country, and my baby is only 6 weeks old. It makes me very sad that I might have to miss it.
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@artbee: I am so deeply sorry to hear about your grandma.
I would take LJ to a funeral for an immediately family member -- our parents, brothers or sisters, or grandparents. We recently had a funeral to attend (co-workers parent) but got a sitter for LJ.
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Thanks for your imput everyone! I guess for me it will just depend on the day, because if it's in the middle of the week we probably won't have a choice. It will just be a small, short service with family and it will be outside standing (I'm assuming since this is what we did for my grandpa) so I wouldn't worry too much about LO being noisy. She might babble, but nobody there will care.
@skibobrown: Sorry about your grandmother too. Hospice has been amazing for us and my grandma- hope they treat your family just as well. My grandma went in a couple of months ago after living on her own forever, but she just couldn't move anymore so she had to go. She actually started eating more, gained much needed weight, and was SOOOOO happy there. But things have taken a turn for the worst, luckily they keep her comfortable and she's very peaceful.
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I'm sorry about your grandmother. My LO has been to 3 funerals in her 2 years of life; the first one when she was 6 weeks old. Two of those were for my grandmothers and the other was for a good friend of my husband.
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We'll be taking both kids to my grandma's service at then end of June (she passed in December, but they held off on the service until the summer). DD will be 2; DS will be 3 months.
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@artbee: Is it a Jewish funeral? If so, other people will understand, and help if you need anything when you bring her. I think you should bring her if you can. I actually have memories from my great grandma's funeral even though I was supposed to be too young to remember it.
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@pastemoo: I recently found out it's just going to be our family. We're not even having a formal ceremony. Rabbi will come to the house and say a little something, but for the actual burial we'll just go and my mom will be the one to say the prayers. So I'll def be bringing LO, especially because my mom is planning it around her nap time
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@artbee: Good. I hope you find many blessings in her memory, and her love lives in your hearts.
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@pastemoo: thank you so much. Love all the support here!
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So sorry for your loss.
My MIL passed suddenly right before Christmas. DH's cousin brought her two kids (2 yrs and less than 2 months) to the wake and funeral. I have to say, it was great to have them there to lighten the mood. In fact the 2 year old made us laugh at a really, really tough time and that helped us out a lot. I'm glad they were there.
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