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I wouldn't mind it, but DH wants to be cremated and spread somewhere to "return to the Earth".

@MaisyMay: wow, that's such a tricky situation. I am glad your mom was okay with it.

@mrbee: If she remarries, she could opt to be buried elsewhere, or her husband could be married on the other side of her. Not to sound delusional, but I don't see my mom remarrying. She's quite content being single.

@78h2o: I don't think I realized how awkward it could have been until I was typing it out here.

We have this kind of. DH's family bought 6 plots together when their kids were babies, intended for themselves, their two kids and their respective spouses. I think it's super weird... and yeah, what if I die first, and he remarries and wants to be buried by his new wife. Then I'm spending eternity with my inlaws by myself? They'll just put her on top of me? The plots to either side are sold to other people (and possibly already occupied??).

And I just think it's such a strange thing for them to have made a decision about for other people... haha

DH wants to be buried and I want to be cremated. Maybe they can just put my ashes in with him and we can share.

@MaisyMay: I think your dad's situation is common for burial plots! I have more than one great aunt or great uncle buried in a similar fashion. One is even buried with first wife next to him and second wife on top in the same plot because the spot in the thee side was already taken up.

Personally I want to be cremated.

My dad's headstone is a double and ready has my (alive) mom's name engraved on it. She chose it, and wants it that way.

I would like to share a tombstone with my husband. At the cemetery where my dad is, it seems like every couple shares one.

I *don't* want my own stone. Though, if DH goes first, I don't want my name on the stone already, with just a blank end date ("1984- "). That creeps me out and makes it seem like the stone is just waiting for me to die!

@MaisyMay: not weird! That's really cool that your dad was able to come to arrangements like that. Honestly, burial plots have caused quite a bit of drama in my family. The biggest fight I ever saw in my family came over who was going to get buried where (my grandparents and great-aunts/uncles had a bunch of undesignated burial plots, first come, first served style). I love that they're both at peace with the arrangement!

DH and I will be sharing a tombstone. Since our first baby was born and became an angel baby in Japan, we decided to do a traditional Japanese cremation burial. It's customary for a whole family to share a tombstone with the family name carved into the stone. As a family member passes away and their urn is put into the holder underneath the stone, their name, birthdate and passing away date is carved into the back of the stone. Some stones have generations of names on them. So DH and I plan to be added to our family tombstone.

I don't know that I want a gravestone/burial at all. But assuming I did…. probably not? I mean maybe if (hopefully) my DH and I live happily until our 90s and when the first of us goes it is clear the other is not far behind. But if there is any possibility that the other of us could find someone else in our later years (my grandma has lived over 20 years without her husband after he passed and it always seemed so sad to me she was just…. done… after he died) I would want to leave that option open.

@LovelyPlum: huh. Interesting. I don't think anyone else in our family cares (and I have a big family). My siblings are totally spread around the US/world and have never lived in that town as adults so none of us want it. Same with the rest of my extended family/cousins.

I mean, probably if I died in an accident tomorrow and wanted to be buried, I *would* be buried there, just because my husband wouldn't know what to do and my dad is already there. But I'm pretty sure no one else would get upset that I got "dibs" by dying early. Yikes.

My mom's younger sister has already passed away from cancer, and her family didn't want any of those plots and chose to bury her in Chicago, where they live.

So I guess we also have low interest in our family. No fighting over who gets the best spot in the cemetary here!

@Anagram: it was all very interesting, I'll say that. I think the issue more came up because the plots were in two different cemeteries, and so my cousin didn't get to be buried by her parents. The cemetery is old and affiliated with a church that my cousin was an active member of, and it had no more plots for purchase. My great-aunt didn't belong to that church, so when she "took" the last spot, my cousin got upset. It may actually be that she was angry with whoever in our family made the final decision. Either way, it was a touchy subject for a while.

My parents, on the other hand, were gifted plots one year by my grandma for Christmas, and to be honest, neither of them really want them. I have no idea what we'll end up doing with those ones!

@MaryM: could you ask them to dig down 8 feet? That way, you could be buried on top of each other. I have family that's done this.