Sorry if this is disjointed, I'm trying to organize my thoughts.

So every year DH and I go to my BIL's house for Christmas, along with my ILs and sometimes other extended family. Every other year my other BIL/SIL and their boys come down (but this is not one of those years).

Yesterday during lunch my ILs told us that this year they're planning on spending Christmas with DH's 93 year old Gram in NC, and invited us to join them.

Option A: BIL's

-2 hour drive
-They have two young boys, so they're used to toddler antics/sleep/eat/etc. I wouldn't have to worry so much about his behavior.
-Very laid-back, casual, relaxed, can wear jeans (or sweats if I wanted).
-Very rambunctious Christmas morning, which I am completely taken with.
-Well-stocked bar and a BIL who can mix a mean drink.
-My SIL's birthday is the day after and we go get pedicures.

Option 2: Pinehurst, NC

-7+ hour drive
-Christmas Eve/Day dinner would be at Pinehurst Resort. Fancy-schmancy, US Open was held there several years ago.
-We would share a hotel suite with my ILs.
-Even if we don't share, they offered to underwrite the whole trip--gas/hotel/food etc.
-I would have to buy a new dress or two.
-I would get to buy a new dress or two
-We'd have to drive through Richmond so I could stop and see my BFF.
-DH's Gram is old, and we don't know how many Christmases she has left. She's crazy about E and it would mean the world to her if we went.
-Apparently the buffet is Out.Of.This.World delicious.
-DH told me I could bring wine. Lots of it.

Other considerations:

-My BIL has two young boys, but they're not crazy about E. He's still in a "destruct everything" phase, and that makes them nuts. He loves them, though.

-Though he usually does well as long as there's food in front of him I'm really wary of bringing him to such a fancy place. DH told me that rich people have kids too, but I don't know how many would bring them to a place like this.

-It would be a very constrained Christmas, not the relaxed ones I'm used to...

-No chance of a White Christmas there (though even here I still haven't had one)

-I think DH is leaning towards Option 2. He loves Christmas at his brother's house, but Pinehurst reminds him of his late grandfather, it would thrill his parents and especially Gram, and he got a far-off look in his eye talking about the food. However he wants me to be happy.

-I'm willing to try something different this year, especially when E won't really remember it. We'll have lots of years of fun holidays with the cousins in the future, when they'll (hopefully) all get along better. It would probably only be for this year.