We're in a bit of a pickle with our 17 month old, and I feel fully responsible for his not great sleep habits. Our son sleeps in his crib in our room, and goes to sleep on his own just fine. However, once he wakes up at around 10 or so (if we're lucky), he won't go back to sleep without nursing and cuddles with me in bed. Then we start our nightly routine of nursing every 2-3 hours until he wakes up around 6. We've been doing this for close to a year.
I'm starting a new job in a month, and I'm wondering if he can be moved back to his own room and how we should go about it?
I've tried 'gently' night weaning him this past month, but it's so hard! He cries so much, and since he's in bed with me, it's pretty impossible to ignore so I usually give in and nurse.
To prepare him for night weaning, I've been talking about it with him and reading books, but it doesn't seem to work.
Part of me doesn't feel ready either... nursing him at night is usually quick and efficient, and I enjoy the snuggles. But I know this can't go on forever and I would like to start my new job with a bit more sleep. I just worry if we move him and night wean him but he still has frequent wakings, I won't be able to comfort him and we'll be in a worse position.
Any advice on what to do?! Thanks!
You might also enjoy...
-
Not saying you should do the same but just our experience with our second - we ended up sleep training him at 13m and while the first night was hard, the second was much better and then he was sleeping through the night. He slept in his room to start the night but I would get him on his first waking and then he inevitably slept with us and comfort nursed a lot. It just got out of hand (I also blamed myself) and I did the training when he wasn’t getting enough rest either and it just couldn’t continue. I think I would try to just do both at once and expect there might be a night or two of crying that will be hard. Maybe let your husband handle the wakeups and don’t bring him into your room/sight even if you don’t want to totally CIO. It was soooo worth it to us once the first couple nights were finished. Everyone felt better including my son! He’s not naturally a great sleeper (but my first was so all kids are different) and I think we really did have to help him learn how to go back to sleep himself. Good luck I know it’s a stressful thing!!
-
I would personally get him into his own room first and once you feel like he’s adjusted to that change, I’d work on the night weaning. If night nursing is a comfort thing for him, the ability to nurse might ease him into the transition of sleeping in his own room. I usually find that the big transitions I dread aren’t usually as bad as I expect them to be. Good luck!
-
@bhbee: This.
Move him to his room. Could maybe even try the “sleep lady shuffle” if he’s fighting it and you don’t want to full on CIO (though I personally think that would be the fastest and best long term solution because CIO at the beginning of th night can in turn help with the night wakings because he will learn to then put himself to sleep during night wakings too).I would NOT carry him into your room/bed at all once you move him into his room. I think it would cause a lot of confusion and setbacks.
Then I would pick a day once he’s going down ok in his room on his own and not go in to nurse. Either extinction CIO or send dad in to deal with it and he HAS to have some strong resolve. Again I think CIO will be most effective but you have to be so so so committed to it. Like no level of crying can bother you because if you give in it just won’t work and could make it worse.
Sleep training is hard! I’m a huge proponent of it but it’s even hard for me and I’ve second guessed myself with both kids. But both times I just powered through and it’s painful for a few days but the long term benefits are worth it for EVERYONE! Short term pain for long term gain!
-
I’d shift him into his room and work on him staying in his own bed before night weaning, chances are that the distance will help anyway!
-
I was in your shoes. I night weaned first. "no Bubbas until the sun is up:. I repeat over and over. He gets it. The first few nights were hard, but then he got it. I just don't give in before six. He can come to my bed, but not to nurse.
We did night weaning first, then his own bed. It went smoothly for us.
-
We sleep trained my son when he was about 17 months old. I was pretty anti-CIO. He had never coslept so that wasn't an issue (we tried - he just never slept in our bed, that became awake baby party time). I was also still nursing him. He was in a crib in his own room but wouldn't fall asleep on his own - I would have to nurse him and rock him forever and then transfer him asleep to the crib (yes ,at 17 months...!).
I honestly didn't even mind doing that - our issue was multiple night wakings. He could NOT put himself back to sleep and he would be up screaming from like 1-5am every night. I almost quit my job and almost got in a couple wrecks due to sleep deprivation, so something had to give.
We tried the sleep lady shuffle and several "gentler" methods which did not work. We ended up doing Ferber style cry it out - my husband did frequent checks (like every 3 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, reassure, don't pick up, repeat our sleep phrase - I love you, it's time to sleep) and it worked AMAZINGLY. After like the first 3 nights, he learned to put himself to sleep and began sleeping through the night. He is almost 3 now and sleeps through the night unless he's sick. (He does now wake up at 5am and beat on his door and scream until I get him up, but that is a different issue...).
-
Personally I would move to his own room first, then slowly cut out some of the night-feedings, which may involve some CIO.
With my Littles, I basically said I wasn't going to nurse unless it had been at least 4 hours, and then would gradually move that time back. It'll be much easier to do if he's not in bed with you.
I did just wean DD (17 months). Her last session was the 2 am/ 5 am one (she's 50/50 on when she wakes up) and I just had to refuse it and she'll cry for a bit and eventually just go back to sleep. I do bring her into our bed though usually at 5 am, after a few days of saying no, she does go right back to sleep now. If she wakes up at 2 I'll usually let her CIO in her crib, and go back to sleep, unless it's a long time.
-
I struggled with this! you may be able to find it under my posts! I’m sorry I dont know how to attach it. I got a lot of great feedback.
Move him to his room!
I’d start there and what I did was didn’t enter the room before 1am. If he cries- I CIO. He fell right back to sleep. I still nurse once in the night right now and he’s 13 months but he goes down awake and can get himself back to sleep. I plan to completely wean very soon once he can get his new feedings together. Good luck!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
8 comments