Hellobee Boards

I think since she spring the earlier rehearsal dinner on your kind of late in the game, she may have to get over it. She's getting married on a holiday weekend, there are going to be conflicts. She knew that when she set the date. You made allowances for the holiday weekend and planned to come back in time for what you assumed would be the rehearsal dinner. It's less than 2 months out now and LOTS of people would have made their plans already. If it would close or easy, I would say yes, do it, but I'm from NJ and I know what the shore traffic would be like-- an absolutely nightmare. I think having wedding events straddling the holiday like that is really inconvenient.

That said, did you check with her before you made your travel plans? As MOH, you probably should have, so I can see how she would be upset if you can't make it, but at the same time, if the location is an hour away without traffic, that's easily a 3 hour trip back on July 4.

ETA: Wait-- I think I just made an assumption that it's in NJ because of the shore part-- my response is if it is in NJ an hour away from the Jersey shore... but that might be a false interpretation!

If it's only an hour each way, I'd go. I drive an hour + every day just for my commute to work, both ways. So...two + hours in the car. Last friday, there were 3 wrecks and it took me 3 hours to get home. It sucked, but I survived...and I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant.

Edited to say I would definitely drive back the hour the night of July 3rd, to avoid some of the July 4th traffic.

@Chillybear: hm. Can one of your girlfriends staying with you go with you? An hour really isn't horrible...it's like driving home to Queens from Manhattan in my mind.

Hmm... Reading the extra info, I guess I wonder if you could go up and back in the one evening. If you leave late, like after dinner, getting back to the shore shouldn't be TOO bad. I definitely would plan to do it that night, not the next morning. And as for the 6 months pregnant part, I drove from Boston to NJ a few weeks ago, just about six months pregnant, by myself and it was totally fine. So really it would just be the one evening you miss of the vacation. But you also have the right to see how you are feeling and if you are having any complications or whatever, say you can't go, but now it sounds like maybe you should at least try-- only because you are the MOH though.

That's a tough one either way.

My commute is often an hour, and I did that till I was 38 weeks pregnant with my last kid, so an hour doesn't sound like much to me, to be honest. If I were worried about traffic, I'd probably plan to nap during the day on the 3rd and then just drive back that night after the rehearsal. All told, if traffic isn't too bad, you'll be gone maybe 5-6 hours in total? That doesn't sound like ruining a vacation to me, plus it sounds like she had a pretty good reason for scheduling on the 3rd, since her fiance is doing the community a public service by being on duty on a night when I'm sure firefighters are pretty busy.

ETA: I stopped doing my commute at 38 weeks because that's when I went into labor. Not because I didn't want to commute anymore

@Chillybear: I think if they do back out it's more reason you should go! Besides you're MOH, it puts you in a different category.