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I have not had such a clear sense of "have a child-this is the time" like I did when we decided to conceive LO. If it was super obvious and all pointing to it and I felt that way again, then I guess I would consider it. For a few seconds...
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No desire to be pregnant (it was hard on me) or give birth again (epidurals don't seem to work on me).
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@PurplePeony: I am currently (newly) pregnant with my first and I feel this way. Like a weird feeling of what have I done, the world is effed up right now!? And I worry about jobs and AI taking over in the future. I really worry about climate change and our trajectory. We are at the whim of a madman. So I might stop at (a very much wanted) one!
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Honestly, we just don't want another kid.
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@gilmoregirl: haha!
Currently our reason is infertility. If we get past that and wind up with a second, primary reasons will be our ages, cost, and exhaustion. Also space since we live in a high COL area.
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We don't want to be outnumbered. (I think we'll be done w 2...)
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Financial. We wouldn't, realistically, be able to put more than two through university/driving lessons/first car/help with deposit for a house. Whenever I get baby fever, DH reminds me of our responsibility for the two daughters we have and what we decided, together, we wanted to provide for them.
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We can't handle another baby. Another child, maybe ... but DH's isn't on board with adoption
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@Bao: DW wants one. I could do one or two, happy either way, and I feel like I should not twist her arm on something like that! Other reasons include prioritizing our marriage and both of our fulltime careers, and the fact that we have no intown family to help.
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@Cherrybee: This is a good thing to remember - our responsibility to our existing kids is more important than a fleeting feeling of wanting more baby snuggles!
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@PurplePeony: Very well said.
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@Mama Bird: haha, truth
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We wanted LO so we could experience being parents. DD made us parents. That's all we want.
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For us, two kids is perfect. One bigger one and one littler one. DH and I each come from families of four, and have always pictured our complete family this way, so we are very happy to be able to stop now that we have our second.
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I don't know if we will try for one more or not but the biggest no factors are the sleep and fact that we wouldn't all be able to fit in a regular car (and I have dreams of owning a Prius V)
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A lot was asked of both my husband and I as the oldest children to families with 3 and 4 total and we both decided we didn't want that for our family. That and my nerves couldn't handle more.
oh, and I have a disabled brother and my MIL had a stillbirth between kids 3 and 5. So we're kind of playing genetic roulette and leaving it there since my husband isn't onboard with PGD for us.
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I would love to have 4 kids but we decided not to go through any more pregnancies. We are getting started with foster care and may eventually adopt, but no more bio kids.
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@Bao: I hope to have two, we will be TTC for LO2 soon. I always imagined I'd have three kids but I think realistically it's a lot for us.
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Mostly DH. He has always wanted 2 and I want 2-3. I know he's probably right that 2 is just a better fit for us but I guess I always envisioned having 3.
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I keep thinking about this. I have so much to do in my life... But if my kids let me sleep even a little bit I might have more. I am in sleepless hell with nonsleeping children and it is really awful (!). So, my n.1 reason might be because my children are terrible sleepers!
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I just don't want to
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I mean, right now I am only pregnant with #2, but we just don't really want more than two kids. That's mostly it
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Still undecided if we want another. We have just 1 daughter now. She's 2. After reading these posts, I'm starting to doubt my recent desires for another!! Ugh...the thought of revisiting sleepless nights!
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After having one more child than we originally planned (both twins (#3 & #4) are now very loved and welcomed) we just feel our family is complete.
My thinking has changed as well. Before I had thoughts like "I'll do this differently with my next pregnancy" etc those thoughts have totally stopped. -
We're working on #4, that will be the last one because I've had C sections and even having 4 seems like too many. Second reason is age, I'll be 39+ if we have another one. And finances play a role.
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I'm giving myself another year or two to make this final, but most likely we'll be 1 and done. And it's for purely selfish reasons. I wanted this kid more than anything in the world, but I lost a lot of myself and a lot of who husband and I were together in the early day. The newborn/first year experience whacked us hard. We're still climbing out of that, and kiddo is 3.5, so the thought of going through it all again is just not appealing.
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Our family is complete at 2 kids. Both of us only wanted two kids, regardless of gender.
I don't possess the baby fever anymore. I don't miss being pregnant or miss the sleepless nights. We've done all of that. I'm looking forward to the big kid years and independence they'll learn and grow into. I'm cherishing my baby time with our toddler, but having him potty trained would be nice. It's weird. I feel like we're done with the little, little baby phase in life and are headed towards a kindergartner and 2 year old. I'm happy about that.
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Desire. I only ever wanted two kids and that's what we have.
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First is just emotional and not wanting to stretch myself too thin.
Second is financial and wanting to have some small luxuries in late adulthood.
Third is feeling like the world is just so overpopulated!
Fourth is fear of age related pregnancy complications as I get older. My second is in PT for low tone and had a minor birth defect that required surgery so it makes me nervous...
We are holding off on three bio kids. Hoping to get permanent birth control this year. Perhaps will adopt a third when my two are in school.
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We tell everyone the third was the questionable one. Now that we have 3 we just simply dont have a desire to have more. I used to say that if I had a million dollars I would want more, but now I dont think emotionally even if I had the funds I would want to do that.
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Finances is the big one. I'm counting down the days until we are done with double daycare, if we had a third I would have to quit my job. Plus the logistics of having a third (needing a bigger house, a bigger car, and not necessarily getting a bigger paycheck) just boggles me.
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This is a really hard question ... I guess the main reason we'll be done after 2 kids is that we've only ever wanted two kids.
But, if we lived a different life (like if we lived close to family, didn't have our specific finances, etc.), mayyybbbeeee we'd have more - but it's really hard to speculate since we've been on the 2 kid plan for 5+ years. We literally could not afford 3 kids in daycare, and there wouldn't be room for a 3rd kid in our house.
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I'm not sure what's next for us. I want more kids but I'm kind of scared because it seems like my body kicks the babies out earlier and earlier. So I am sure I won't be able to deliver at a birthing center again. And still don't like hospitals. We might pursue adoption again in a couple years. But that was crappy for us too. I absolutely feel like my heart is full with my 3 sweet babies already, so 3 could be my magic number!
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We are most likely done after our second baby is born this fall. My husband also has an 11 year old son. Our number one reason is finances. Another baby would bring us to the breaking point on house size, and our cars would be very tight as well. I currently bring my daughter to work with me as a nanny, and can continue to do that with one more. But three of my own would be too much for me to handle with work. And we can't afford 3 in daycare and don't want to go that route. My heart wants 3, but it's not the logical, practical choice for our family.
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@Mrs. Carrot: This. Could not agree more.
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@JennyD: I love your response!
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@wrkbrk: thanks. I'm never quite sure how that will be taken
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@Foodnerd81: it is not wrong!! Our oldest has been incredibly difficult since he was born and that is pretty much the main reason we are tapped out with 2! Hats off to people who are better at handling this phase or who had easy kids to begin with and went for #3!
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I want a fourth but my DH is content with three right now. I think we're in a good groove and he's afraid of upsetting the balance.
I worry about my age and not having a healthy baby. We've been so blessed to not have any losses and to have healthy kids I feel four could be pushing my luck. -
#1 reason is DH is not on board with having any more kids. He wasn't even ok with having kids to begin with. #2 reason is, I really don't think I am a super mom kind either.... being a mom of two and more kids are super moms and you sacrifice a lot of who you are and what you do, I am not capable of that.
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