If your family is complete, whether you have one kid or four (or more) what was your reason for stopping where you did? Did you feel your family was complete? Financial reasons? Something else?
If your family is complete, whether you have one kid or four (or more) what was your reason for stopping where you did? Did you feel your family was complete? Financial reasons? Something else?
persimmon / 1467 posts
#1 is probably the chaos. I can handle 2 and I'm not sure I want to handle the noise and demands of more kids. I like my peace and quiet and independence. I can't wait till they are older and I get it back.
honeydew / 7504 posts
We have 2. We don't want more because of noise, chaos, and divided attention. A friend of mine (a father of 3) once told me, "Don't have three. Then they outnumber you, and you have to pay for a bigger room at Disney." Ha! But even if we wanted more, we couldn't because of money.
apricot / 424 posts
Strictly financial for us. I would love to have 3, but we couldn't swing the daycare costs. I will be 39 when my oldest is out of daycare, so I don't think I will be trying again.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
#1 is pregnancy is just plain hard for me, I don't enjoy it and me being so sick is hard on my family.
#2 is partially financial and partially practical- our lives are just well set up for two kids and adding a third would require a bunch of changes we're not really interested in, many of which would be costly.
coconut / 8472 posts
We have two and we are done for a variety of reasons. For one, I am just tapped out with two. I WOH and there's just only so much that I am capable of. My DH is a rockstar, but even so there is just so much to do and one or both of them always need attention.
Even if I wasn't mentally tapped out, financially it's just too much. Daycare around here is very high and I'm looking forward to thing we can do now and in the future that would be tougher with the expense of an extra child. There are vacations we want to do, college we contribute to, and we'd like to help with houses or weddings down the line too.
I also just can not do pregnancy again. I hate it and it hates me. And now that I'm doing the baby stage a second time, my nostalgia for it has gone away permanently I think. We looked into foster to adopt and it's just not a good fit for our family.
And then there's the fact that life as a family of four is just easier. It's easier to eat out, everyone fits easily in a normal size car, etc.
I'm really really happy with having two kids. It's perfect for our family.
pomelo / 5573 posts
We're done at 2 for a few reasons. Financial - we're feeling stressed figuring out how to pay for daycare for 2, with 3 I might as well quit my job, my whole salary would go to daycare and commuting. Also 3 just seems logistically difficult - we'd need a minivan, we'd need a bigger house. We love to travel and the idea of having more kids than adults in an airport stresses me out. And also, while I feel sad at the thought of not having babies anymore, I don't want to do it again. I don't want the sleepless nights, I don't want another c section, I don't want another year out of my career. I'm excited for the next phase, with two kids walking and playing and having fun together.
pear / 1717 posts
Done at 2 for the stress of finding AMAZING childcare. This has been our biggest obstacle. Another small reason is we kinda like the idea of not being out numbered and not because we can't handle it but because what if all three+ children had an event at the same time, how do we split it all up? So 2 it is for us!
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
I solo parent a lot with DHs work hours and I would be swamped mentally if I had 3. Also, I started a new position this year that I love and don't want to put my career on hold for another year.
persimmon / 1431 posts
When I think about the future, I think I'd like 1 more. We have 2 right now. But, we don't have the support or resources for more kids.
nectarine / 2173 posts
We're planning on 2- currently pregnant with second. More than 2 just sounds like chaos. How to get them all in one car, 3 needing daycare, etc. Just more work than we have the energy or desire for.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
We are already tapped out physically and mentally with 2 and we are really looking forward to finally being able to travel again without the stress of small kids. Plus I think a lot of things are just easier with 2 and we will be able to devote a lot more energy and attention to each of them. Finances weren't as big of a reason for me - even if having kids cost $0 I would still want to stop at 2.
honeydew / 7303 posts
I've really come to a place of peace with our family size. We have two perfect healthy kids, I know we will be able to provide a very nice life for them, and I really just have no desire and no energy to do the newborn thing again and to run around like a maniac taking all of them to different activities. This size feels sustainable.
persimmon / 1483 posts
Health. I am 2 for 2 for traumatic deliveries and NICU stays. There is a small part of me that would like a 3rd, but with my history, I feel like I'd be tempting fate.
clementine / 778 posts
Number one reason if we love the way our life is. The fact that we move every 2/3 years and I have solo parent for 6 plus months every 1.5 years while DH is deployed plays a small roll.
pomelo / 5524 posts
We have 2 living boys, and we're done. I've been pregnant 6 times with 2 live births, and I can't go through another miscarriage. We're very lucky that we have both of our boys, and we're not pushing it. So my mental well being is the #1 reason.
squash / 13199 posts
@Bao: 2 kids for us just feels right. finances didnt play a role in the decision making. Also after 2 c-sections i really couldnt imagine doing it a 3rd time
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I am mentally, emotionally, and physically tapped out. I already struggle with dividing my time and attention between the two we have, and just feel pretty crushed under the stress of it, so more than two would do me in. Finances are another consideration, and logistics, but I feel like we could make that work if we really wanted another. But I'd rather try to just be a better parent to the ones I have!
kiwi / 573 posts
Feeling of complete. We had planned for one more and never expected to feel this now. Scary delivery, tough pregnancy, money.
In that order, lol.
honeydew / 7444 posts
Finances was never a factor for us. It's just at 2 we are stretched thin emotionally. I worry what 3 would do to our marriage and personal well-being. I like knowing that DH won't resent me for leaving him alone with the kids for a few hours. We're in a good place.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I don't want more kids to effect work! Eek, I said it out loud. SAH is not an option. I don't want to do it. Working is so much harder than it used to be for a myriad of reasons. I just don't want to chance taking another 3 months off disrupting my work flow and then adding another person to be responsible. It's one thing to SAH by choice it's another to be forced to you know what I mean.
persimmon / 1445 posts
We are done at 2 for basically financial reasons... I SAH and my husband is a restaurant manager so we aren't exactly rolling in $$. We are prioritizing retirement savings and buying a house now that we have 2. There's no more room for more kids in our apartment. I would eventually like to get back to work as well but it doesn't make sense right now because of the daycare costs.
If we ever did change our minds I would love to foster a kid (or two!) but that would be like 10 years down the road when we are more settled
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Not 100% but like 95% haha. I would say biggest reasons are money and energy (DH)
pomegranate / 3113 posts
We're pretty sure we're one and done. We have two pretty equal main reasons -- first, we're at our max capacity with DD. I honestly think going through the toddler/preschoolers phase again would send one or both of us over the edge and probably kill our marriage. The other reason is more abstract, but basically I'm seriously worried about what the world is going to be like for DD and can't bring myself to add another kid to this festering stew of a mess. I know politics change, but the environment is a major concern and I'm not confident she will have a healthy world to live in throughout her life. Since the election, I've actually had overwhelming guilt about having DD, to the point where I might need to look for counseling if it doesn't start to get better. DH isn't as pessimistic but does believe one kid is the responsible choice. It's hard because we had originally said two, and I'd like DD to have a sibling, but now it just feels wrong to go ahead with it.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
If we stop, it's going to be the money, our age, my inability to not freak out about toys on the floor, and my lack of desire to be poked with needles, examined, and forced to drink nasty sugar water.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
No desire. I have two hands, one for each kid. Money is another huge factor.
nectarine / 2466 posts
Cost. I'm pregnant with my third, so having 4 would just be too much of a financial strain.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
Is it wrong to say my threenager factors into the equation? We kind of always figured 2 anyway, but seriously, if we had gotten to this phase before I was ever pregnant with the second, she might be an only child.
pomegranate / 3768 posts
Well I always thought we were done at 2 and now I'm pregnant with 3. After this we are done. Main reason is the amount of work. I would like to one day sleep again.
pomelo / 5678 posts
Help. We do 2 kids ALL ourselves. No help, no breaks. That won't be forever, however, as LO1 starts 4k in fall. But, I sometimes imagine if I was surrounded by a big healthy family I could trust, with people to watch the kids... And a trust fund, of course
pear / 1648 posts
I always thought I wanted 2 but we could both probably be happy with 1. The main reason we're having 2 is for LO1 to have a sibling.
kiwi / 698 posts
We've pretty much decided to stop at 2, purely for financial reasons.
nectarine / 2115 posts
We are done at 2.
Top reason for me is that pregnancy was very hard on my body. Second reason is that kids are expensive and we want to do things like travel and save for retirement. Flip that order for DH
nectarine / 2994 posts
Finances - having #3 is already going to stretch us financially.
Also, I cannot go through this horrible morning sickness again.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
2 just feels right to me. Mentally and emotionally, I think this is all we can handle. Logistically, most things seem to be easier for families of 4. Finally, I feel very much done with pregnancies, not only for the toll on my body but also because it took too many (5 total) to even have 2 healthy babies. I don't think I could handle heading down that path again at this stage in life.
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