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I wouldn't appreciate being manipulated like that with the crying (my mom likes to do the same thing). If you don't need help, you don't need help. If she wants to come visit, then you guys can make plans. But I don't think its necessary for her to expect to be over at your house every single day, for most of the day, if you don't want/need that. She needs to be a little more understanding.

All I want after giving birth is privacy and space with my new family. Not a bunch of people at my house all the time, including my own mom.

Awwww... my mom stayed with us for a little over 2 weeks after LO was born. Loved it!

My mom came over every day after LO was two weeks old. From 0-2 weeks, the hubs and I managed together (but had some in-law drama when my MIL kept showing up unannounced).

Based on the info provided I don't really think your mom sounds that manipulative...I think my mom would probably cry too just because she's so excited about having her first grandbaby. Is the issue that you don't NEED the help or that you don't WANT the help? If it's a need thing but you wouldn't mind having her over then how about you and your husband use that as time to nap, go on a quick walk together, go sit outside alone and eat a meal, take a shower, etc. Bonding with grandparents is important too and it would allow you and your husband time to bond and reflect on this past week of parenthood.

I would tell her how you feel. My husband only had one week off of work, and there was literally someone at our home every single day. It was really draining. I felt like we got no time to bond as a family. My mom did come over just about every other day in the beginning, but it was more to help around the house while me and my husband focused on the baby, which was super helpful. His mom came over the other days, and she mostly just hung around to hold the baby which honestly I found annoying. I wish I would have said something then because she came over every other day for like the first 4 weeks, usually when my husband was already at work..It was really hard to feel comfortable and confident as a new mom while she was there and I felt like I needed to entertain her. My mom only came over after the first week if I asked.

Long post short, I'd be honest with her. I obviously regret the time me and my husband lost as a new family. I'd hate for you to feel that way also.

I know a lot of people love having their mom/MIL help during the first few weeks but I'm with you, I didn't need the help. My baby slept when he wasn't eating so it wasn't hard to get things accomplished especially since hubs was off with me. My family is different though, we don't talk every day, we get together about once a week.

Maybe gently mention that you'd like to get into a routine on your own and appreciate the offer to help? Or let he know she's welcome to "visit" once you get settled?

Unfortunately, we had visitors every single day for the first 2 weeks of LO's life. not just our parents. It was exhausting!!