grapefruit / 4023 posts
@math.nerd: he was so exhausted??!! Seriously it’s good men don’t have the babies. You were right to do what worked for you! Backup doula is definitely the worst, I’m sorry it turned out that way.
apricot / 251 posts
@bhbee: Right?? I was flabbergasted when he said that. I had been in the hospital on bedrest for the previous three weeks and the baby was being born at 31 weeks, so he was stressed out, but COME ON. Luckily, I now think it's funny.
olive / 50 posts
@math.nerd: omg/lol at your husband! Men are so funny, sometimes. My husband needs A LOT of rest, so I will often come home to find him napping, or he'll complain about being tired, and it takes all of my patience to not respond snarkily, "oh, I'm sorry, are you 30 weeks pregnant, working full-time, and not sleeping well, too?"
I didn't do anything super specific for my first birth - I took a birth class offered by my midwifery group that focused on intervention-free L&D, and I read a lot of birth stories, read Ina May Gaskin's book, and then when I was in labor I literally stood in a corner during contractions and talked myself through the intense moments. When we got to the hospital, my midwife and the nurses had a wireless monitor and I didn't receive an IV at all and was able to move about the room as I liked - being active during labor really worked for me. Maybe 60 minutes after getting to the hospital I was ready to push and my daughter was born 30 minutes later! I was lucky enough to have a super short labor - I started feeling contractions around midnight and my daughter was born a little after 6:00am.
I need to go back through my birth plan and figure out what, if anything, needs to be changed or updated. I had my 30 week appointment yesterday and meant to ask about the birth plan and totally forgot...luckily the next one is only 2 weeks away!
pomegranate / 3411 posts
hi everyone! i feel so bad that i didn't keep up with this group or participate at all since my intro post! i really wanted to and i checked it from time to time with the intention to go back and read everything i missed before posting,. but i never got around to that yet, so i figure posting something at this point is better than nothing. Thanks for keeping me on the due date list! My job has been so hectic and that is usually my HB time, lol. I will try to start keeping up with the recent posts and contribute more and i still plan to go back and read everything so i can get to know you ladies a bit
I finish work on June 19th so hopefully i will have more time then, i can't wait!
As for my pregnancy, i am having a girl!!!! which was my dream because i always wanted a daughter and i currently have 2 boys. I was also diagnosed with complete placenta previa at my 20 week ultrasound and found out a few weeks ago that is has completely cleared!! so that was awesome news too. it was pretty stressful for a while. now i am back on the plan to maybe have a VBAC after 2 c sections. Although i will be anticipating a c section much more than the previous ones.
@californiadreams: welcome back and great news on the previa! Lots of girls for this month!
@californiadreams: That's awesome - both the news about a little girl and your placenta previa resolving itself!
It's hard keeping up with the board and life - I've definitely disappeared for weeks at a time, so no worries
GOLD / pear / 1942 posts
Hi all, sorry I have been MIA--we bought a house (yay) and moved in 4 weeks ago, then a week and a half ago we got a PUPPY (I know, I know, it's all I ever wanted though), I'm having some unhappy family health situations to deal with, some stressful work drama, and then just trying to be there for my 21-month-old during the transition plus my new shit-ass commute is pretty much wiping me out. 28 weeks today and I realized I have done nothing to prepare for the baby coming aside from have the nursery painted and ordering some impractical, expensive girl clothes... um. Eh.
@Seslsesl: what week will you be when you move? just a local move, right? do you have anyone who can help, or are you by any chance mercifully not unravelled by the sight of cardboard boxes? I'm right there with you on being over pregnancy but trying to cherish it at the same time. I think I'm likely done-zo after this (too old, too tired, want my body back one day before I'm 40). I keep thinking I can coast and be fine because we have so much of the equipment and mental wherewithal already, planning the same kind of birth (hospital epidural with my same OB's)--but then every few days I wonder if I'm about to get my ass kicked for not being prepared enough.
@bhbee: just curious, how long and how short were your first two labors? I'm a little nervous about committing to giving birth in Manhattan when I've just moved to the suburbs, although people do it all the time. I think I'll just get moving a LOT faster to the hospital this time around--not interested in having a baby in the Holland Tunnel sorry if I missed it, but did you figure out where you're going to put the baby? are your older two going to share a room if they're not already?
@californiadreams: god there are so many girls on this board! congratulations, that's great wonderful news that the previa cleared up, I didn't know it could do that. and agghhhhhhh how are you off work from June 19?? want to switch jobs?
@math.nerd: just wanted to say I feel you and hang in there the bills are so stressful. I will never forget when we got a $5500 bill for our genetic testing and I freaked out. My husband called three times and protested it and they were like, oh, we'll see if we can do something to adjust it... then we got an adjusted bill in the mail, new price: $78. I did have to pay $5500 for my D&C though, it was such insult to injury. it's such a train wreck to deal with that shit and it's unbelievable how much it wipes you out mentally and how vulnerable it makes you emotionally. this sounds like a platitude but there will be a time (I hope soon) when you will not believe you ever felt badly about having your new little boo because of money. Cost of living is insane these days it's really tough. also, I too failed my 1-hour test and was feeling so guilty about it. found out today that I did pass the 3-hour test and what did I do--have a cheeseburger for lunch and a slice of banana bread for dinner, clap clap clap. so I still feel guilty did you do the 3-hour test yet? my poor arm looks like I'm a junkie, I had to ice it.
Oh, other thing that's going on with me is I'm getting *terrible* varicose and spider veins all over my legs and lower pelvis that throb with pain every time I stand up. woof.
1st: Seslsesl (#2)
2nd: CaliforniaDreams (#3)
10th: bhbee (#3) , Mrs. Gumdrop (#2)
24th: LCTBQE (#2)
27th: coffeemom (#3)
31st: Math.Nerd (#2)
@LCTBQE: hello and wow a lot on your plate! But the baby will be fine no matter how much you do or don’t prepare! That’s what prime is for right??
As for labors - so both mine were right about 40w, went into labor naturally, big babies. First I’m not sure when it technically started but I started timing when contractions were 4m apart and I had 18 hours to go. So, not fast. The second I figured maybe I’d have about 9 hours since my ob said it’s a reasonable guess to divide in half. Nope, like 4.5 and the first 3 were not intense so I was just up in the middle of the night organizing the house and making my daughter’s lunch for school etc thinking I had time. By the time I woke dh my water broke and sh*t got real. We had to call my brother to come, they showed up at our house at 3:30am and #2 was born at 4:30 (they were asking if I wanted to push when I got there). So the lesson I learned was I have to take it seriously earlier this time! Which is kind of tricky because I have a ton of BH that can be painful, but it’s probably doable if you like your Manhattan situation (as long as your first labor wasn’t super short already!). I’m a little nervous this time about the whole childcare piece since my brother now has 2 kids also and they live 30-45m away, but we overall know more people to call if needed so that’s good. And I’m staying open to the idea I might induce before 40w if I’m super miserable, even though I’d prefer labor to start on its own.
I still have no idea on kid sleeping but don’t plan to decide until we see how baby sleeps. The crib is in my son’s room and I’ve changed a few simple things to the point the girly sheet doesn’t clash horribly (like put in neutral blackouts). My son says he wants to sleep with the baby but I’m a little afraid he means sleep ON the baby I am caring about things a lot less this time which I figure is good practice for juggling three!
@LCTBQE: paying for my d&c was the worst thing ever. I think it cost as much or more than giving birth!
@LCTBQE: Congrats on the house and the puppy!
And I JUST found out that I passed my 3hr test. Hooray!
I did the test on friday and on Tuesday morning I had to get blood drawn for something else and the woman was like "woah, are you OK?" because my veins were still bruised from the 3hr test.
I'm still going to try to reduce the sugars and carbs in my diet anyhow, just because I think it'll help me feel better overall. I was totally overdoing it. But it was fun while it lasted!
Is anyone on here in CA? maybe @californiadreams? I need to figure out what my disability/leave options are and our HR manager at work has literally been MIA for several months! No one will tell us if she's coming back or what!
@bhbee: yep, labor with my son was about the same--9 pound baby, a couple days late, 19 hours start to finish and my contractions started off 20-30 minutes apart. good to hear another reminder to take it seriously though! I think I'll just be all ready with my bag and toddler childcare and everything and get into Manhattan as soon as the contractions are like 10 minutes apart (for me it ramped up fast after they were 6-8 minutes apart). Do you have a SAH neighbor who could step in for an hour or two if your brother and his wife are at work etc when you go into labor? 4.5 hours for #2 is intense!! Interesting about your induction thoughts--my OB is super reluctant to do it before 41w, didn't realize it could be elective. Also I really like your style re baby sleep, you sound so chill. True third mama mentality
@math.nerd: YAYYYYY you passed!! that's great, one fewer thing to worry about, right? I'm trying to reign it in, too. My dad has pre-diabetes and while he's super out of shape and a different person than me, it makes me nervous and I truly believe a lower-carb diet is fantastic for overall health. Just wish it was easier to organize, freaking everything on earth is wrapped in bread or tortillas or batter--it's not like we are home 100% of the time to make ourselves a veggie omelet.
Also asked my HR about leave options because NY state just passed a new family leave act (I gather it's *like* FMLA but at state level and can be stacked on top of FMLA??) they were like, "we have no idea". Head of HR can't tell me because she herself is out on mat leave.... thx.
@LCTBQE: yes definitely take it seriously once you know it’s real labor! Hoping for a fast labor for you ... once you get to the hospital
My OB is the best, she was really chill about me pushing all the natural labor stuff last time and also always fine with inducing once you hit 39w. It’s totally not evidence based to do so but I think she just has 3 kids and gets it. My big hesitation is that even though my second was over a pound bigger he came fast and with minimal damage. Like I basically had zero recovery unlike my first who injured my tailbone, way more swelling/ice packs needed, etc. I worry inducing might mess that up but I think I just need to talk through my concerns with her. I told her this week that I’m definitely inducing on my due date if I get there because I have a bunch of back to school things I don’t want to miss the next week
Ok who else is feeling huge? I know I’ve done this before but how can there be two more months of growth left?? It’s not even a weight thing just the look. My swelling is definitely getting icky and I know it’s going to get soooo much worse by July.
@bhbee: Ha! I got my first "OMG are you having TWINS" from a stranger on the street the other day. *eye roll* My dad keeps saying that it looks like I'm going to have a baby any minute (but he's totally clueless). I had an OB appt. yesterday and my belly is measuring at 30 weeks (I'm 28 tomorrow), so not too bad. I think as the weather gets warmer, I'll feel bigger.
@LCTBQE: OH! I'm curious about the new NY stuff because I think I read that most companies HAVE to pay some form of leave - like full pay for a certain amount of time. And what is it about HR? Why can they not figure this stuff out -- our HR manager has been MIA for months and they FINALLY announced yesterday that she's officially gone. The person who is replacing her is like "well, you and I will just figure all of this leave stuff out together". NOT reassuring.
I have my third tri ultrasound on Monday - not sure what to expect because I didn't make it to this appointment with my first! Should be interesting. Hope everyone is doing well!
@math.nerd: i thought my 28w ultrasound was fun! I’ve never had one before past 20w. You can see more detail on things (like hair) and because we had a newer machine, she flipped it into 3D for some of it and that was amazing! It looked like a real baby hope yours goes great!
pear / 1612 posts
@bhbee: Trying to play catch up - I can't remember if you were still TTC or early pregnancy last time I've "seen" you. Nonetheless - CONGRATULATIONS! Almost there
@Mrs. Oreo: aw thanks! Yeah it finally happened on our final month trying! I am loving your good news
@bhbee: Awesome! Isn't that how it goes We also weren't even trying anymore - go figure!
Catching up after more than a week away from the boards...things have been so busy with the end of the school year and prepping for this move...I'm seriously hoping this baby doesn't come early because I am just not ready!
Official work stuff ends Thursday of next week, but I think I'll need to do some administrative stuff basically until the baby is born. We move the weekend of 6/23, which we're super excited about, but also it's hard to plan and pack while wrapping up the school year! Luckily we're moving across the street, so not a ton of logistical stuff to plan with a truck or anything, and we have family and friends planning to help, but it still feels a little crazy!
I'm 32+1 and had growth scan and midwife appointment yesterday - I was super anxious for no reason, but relieved to see a healthy baby who appears to be growing on schedule (though his legs are a little short, apparently, which makes sense as my daughter was a little below average length when she was born). I'm having trouble gaining weight, which is an annoying thing to complain about, I know, but it's been making me a little anxious about the health/size of the baby.
I think that's it for me - I hope everyone else is having a great start to summer!
@Seslsesl: i hope the move went well!! I bet you are exhausted! (Because i am exhausted just from regular life ... )
This board is so quiet, hope everyone is doing well! I am plodding along (somewhat literally ha) with my 34w appt in a few days. I am so over being pregnant but I’m in some kind of denial because my brain doesn’t seem to be connecting that end of pregnancy equals actual newborn (and labor ... ugh). Just feeling huge and tired and everything hurts and I’m nauseous all the time so I am a barrel of fun. DH is overseas for almost a week for work and I’m just giving up on worrying about things like exactly how much tv my kids watch.
But on the bright side this baby is super active and I can’t wait to see her! It’s super weird/exciting to be thinking in a month we’ll probably be installing the car seat and washing tiny clothes and all that stuff. And then for sure I will be trying all the natural induction techniques!
How is everyone?? I wonder who will have our first baby?
cherry / 239 posts
@bhbee: Sorry I’ve been MIA! We have been crazy busy. We are also moving (next week, when I’ll be 32 weeks). I’m already over being pregnant, but I’m hoping I stay pregnant until at least 37 weeks if not longer, since I’ve been having so many pre term labor issues. The heat index here has been over 105 every day.
I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done for this baby, but I can’t set anything up until we are in our new home. I can’t wait for that!
It’s crazy to think that we’ll have three kids pretty soon. Hope everyone is doing well!
This is a quiet board, but I get it - we're all so busy! We moved this weekend and my body is TIRED, but it's so nice to be in our new space and now we have the rest of the summer to unpack and get settled (though my husband is the type to stay up for 48 hours and unpack as quickly as possible...).
I haven't felt like I could get ready for the baby in a real way until we moved, so now I feel like I can finally set up a nursery, inventory what we have/don't have, buy a carseat, basic things that I should do since I'm only about 5 weeks away from my due date!
Baby is still breech, so I'm going to start working with a chiropractor and obsessively do Spinning Babies exercises to try to turn him in the next couple of weeks. If that doesn't work, I'll have to get an external cephalic inversion, and if that doesn't work I'll have to have a scheduled C-section, which I really do not want...
However he gets here, I am feeling emotionally and physically ready, if not logistically...this pregnancy has been a little tougher on my body and I'm tired of being sore and tired!
Hope everyone else is having a great start to summer!
@CoffeeMom: Good luck with your move! If I can offer any advice it's to listen to your body - I definitely overdid it at 34+ weeks and could barely move the night and morning after.
@Seslsesl: glad you survived the move!! And good luck with the breech flip! I hope the chiro and exercises work for you so you can avoid the bigger steps. I know that must be stressful.
@CoffeeMom: good luck with the move! I totally hear you on heat plus third baby ... can’t imagine moving as well. I’ve been kind of glad this baby doesn’t have a nursery so I have less to do!
Hey there August Mamas!
I know it's been quiet around here - I hope that no news means good news! Everyone is asking me how I'm feeling and my response is the same - pregnancy wise I feel fine, it's the rest of the world that has me anxious, angry and fired up!
In order to curb my obsessive thoughts about the state of the world - I've taken to obsessing over names! I figured I'd crowd source some more opinions.
I know I've waxed on and on about my 'dilemma". I want to name this little girl after my grandmother, Virginia. But I don't love a lot of the V names that come up. Her maiden name was Landry, so I expanded the search to L names.
For a while, the frontrunner was Leah (pronounced like Princess Leia, but the more hebrew spelling). My husband loves and it was 100% sold for a while. I think it's super duper pretty and suits our family, but I don't LOVE it because
1. It's not a clear connection to my grandmother
2. My niece's name is Lucy and maybe it's too similar.
3. Leah in the bible has a very sad and awful story (she's married off to the man who wants to marry her sister as a trick! - a story that's been brought up recently in culture in Handmaid's Tale - not a great connotation!)
4. I've read that Leah means "weary, tired". Not super awesome.
In the past few days, I've been on a Vivienne kick. Some pros:
1. Clear association to Virginia.
2. It's pretty
3. I'm pretty sure I like it
My husband says he likes it just as much as Leah - but I don't believe he's telling me the truth! I think he likes it a lot, but just slightly less than Leah.
I'm not sure either about Vivienne nicknames - my son is Simon - I don't want to end up with a Sy and Vi rhyming situation :-). There are tons of options and I wonder which one she'll gravitate too as she gets older.
I know this is a dumb dumb dumb problem to have, but I just can't help it! I'd love any and all opinions! Thanks for indulging me!
@math.nerd: you’re doing better than me, we don’t even have a short list!
I wouldn’t worry about the connotations for Leah, i knew some growing up and never thought/knew of those. My only question would be if you’re ok with it being mispronounced. That bothers me personally but I know many don’t care.
I like Vivienne a lot! Honestly we haven’t both loved any of the names we’ve picked. I figure if we get one love and one like that’s pretty good, and once they’re here it sticks and seems right.
Alright it’s July! One of us could definitely have a baby this month!
Who else is feeling just gigantic? The waddle is full time now for sure.
@bhbee: Ahh! I know I'm the last person on the due date list so I HOPE to not have a July baby. However, my son was born at 31w1d and I'm now at 31w3d so this is my first time being THIS pregnant. I just feel fortunate to still be cooking at this point.
That said - I too feel HUGE. Everyone is making those fun third trimester comments about my body. Hooray! And I really just can't do the things I used to do - tie my shoes, sleep comfortably, breath. You know the usual.
I totally overdid it yesterday by standing out in the sun for 4 hour at a fundraiser bake sale - but surprise, surprise - it was my sleepy husband who needed a two hour nap that afternoon! I'm sensing a pattern with him
Hope everyone is doing OK.
@math.nerd: oh, husbands 🙄
apricot / 432 posts
I hope you are all hanging in there, you’re almost to the home stretch! Can’t wait to see/hear about all the babies being born!
Hi there everyone--I've been offline for quite a while now because my real life is kicking my ass: lots of work drama and extra/unexpected work creeping into nights and weekends, very grave health problems with one of my parents, we moved two months ago but our house is still 3/4 empty, my husband and I keep taking turns being out of town, commuting 13 hours a week and working almost 50, and trying to spend time with the boy and our new puppy every spare second. And as everyone can relate, being mid-third-trimester is freaking exhausting enough as it is.
I did an amazon order that cost $800 that was everything I need for the baby besides the dresser, and I think I've settled on a first name, no middle name yet, but otherwise I haven't done jack to prepare, the nursery is literally an empty room with the boxed crib and mattress sitting on the floor. I think by 34 weeks last pregnancy I was completely set up and done--but that is the privilege of baby #1, right?
How is everyone feeling mama-health-wise? Besides huge, that is. My ribs are starting to pull apart again and my leg veins are so painful and bad I had to go to a vascular surgeon and will need probably several varicose and spider vein treatments after it's all over. like you said bhbee, so ready for pregnancy to be over but not ready AT ALL to actually have the baby
@Seslsesl: I can't believe that half of us have moved in the third trimester on this board, sheesh--it ain't easy. I am so jealous of your motivated husband! how's the new place? I've moved across the street twice before, it's not as bad but still a huge ordeal, right? never did it with a toddler though
@CoffeeMom: how was your move, are you guys in yet? I know how you feel about being unsettled but kind of stuck for now, I am starting to get frantic that I just want to set up shop over here--my issue is just needing the time. I designated the weekend of 7/20 to doing so my husband is taking the toddler to see his grandparents so I'm hoping to just crank some fleetwood mac and get it done.
@math.nerd: wow, I knew your first baby was a preemie but I didn't remember he was *that* early! is there anything they can do as a preventative measure? Re your name conundrum: Leah will never get pronounced Leia, I think you gotta pick a lane because the spelling and pronunciation are inseparable there, and to spell it Leah and pronounce it "LAY-uh" will be a lifetime of confusion. To me, Leia=Star Wars badass, and Leah=pretty name that I don't care if it means weary/tired. I'm not religious but my very Christian SIL named my niece Leah and I always thought it was lovely and no one seems to mind that she had an unfortunate biblical fate, as many biblical characters do. I also think Vivienne is beautiful, and I don't think it'll get shortened to Vi--that would happen with Violet for sure. But Vivienne will get shortened to Viv, which is so cute, right?
@LabradorLover: HIIIII so good to see your name! going to wall you
@LCTBQE: oh man that’s a lot to deal with!! I hope that weekend alone helps. My kids are both going to camp some hours this week and I’m hoping to get my list done (but thankfully it’s pretty short for #3). I am just trying to get through each day in terms of how I feel, hoping camp this week helps because being the summer cruise director for my kids is rough sometimes! My big complaints are swelling, pelvic pain and getting woozy/clammy/nauseous anytime I stand still very long (which I think is low blood pressure?). Oh and contractions ... I saw some (tmi) mucus plug too but further research seems to indicate it probably means nothing for me at this point.
But we’ve pretty much decided four weeks from Friday this baby is getting evicted! Right now having a newborn sounds so exhausting but I’m telling myself the second the pressure is off my body I will feel so much better and it will be ok. It helps my 6yo is now obsessed with the baby and feeing her hiccup and all such things
@bhbee: awww, that's so cute that your daughter is excited! are you getting your kids presents "from the new baby"? I'm getting woozy and my nausea is back as well. it's so not fun good luck being productive during their day camp time, what's on your to-do list? are you scheduled to induce on your due date, or before?
oh been meaning to ask the group since you mentioned hiccups--I definitely noticed them and was amused by them with my son, but this pregnancy I haven't felt any--just tons of movement otherwise. is that normal or does it have to do with baby's position?
@LCTBQE: yes my kids are getting presents. I thought it worked well last time - but I didn't give it at the hospital. my mom suggested not to so that LO would focus on the baby and I think that was the right call - I have the cutest video from their first meeting. and she got something when the baby came home, another time they might feel left out. depends on the kid I'm sure but that's what worked for us. this time I think it will actually mean more to my daughter being older, plus it's a bracelet she can hopefully keep and find meaningful a long time. my son is super into animal puppets so I got him one and he will probably try to smother the baby with it
I've agreed with my OB to induce on my due date. it's fairly selfish, but I just need things to happen by then for a variety of reasons. my first two came by that date so hopefully this one does the same anyway . . . last time I tried pumping to induce and whether it worked or not I'm thinking I'll do it again. my list is thankfully pretty short . . . I mean the crib was already built, no new furniture, and thankfully I did most of the closet cleaning during random bursts of nesting. so I need to wash all the baby stuff and beyond that it's just things like wrap the gifts to the older kids, investigate potential family photographers if we decide to try a mini session, etc. Stuff that doesn't actually have to happen!
oh and hiccups - I think it totally has to do with position and placenta. I felt WAY more with the two that had posterior placentas. I also felt basically none this time until baby went head down, though they must have been happening. so probably just a combination of how things are lined up at the moment.
Hi everyone! Good to see that everyone is doing well despite third trimester misery!
The move went well and we're mostly settled in. My husband has been working like a maniac to put the house together while I try to keep our 4.5 year old entertained. It helps that as educators we're mostly off during the summer, but we both have administrative duties that don't disappear in the summer, so between balancing work, our daughter, the move, and getting ready for baby, we've been busy!
My body is READY for this baby to come - I'm 37 weeks today (8/1 due date) and officially on alert for baby to come. Baby is still very much breech, so I'm attempting an ECV tomorrow to turn baby around. It should be pretty straightforward, and the doctor I'm seeing for it is pretty confident it will work, but there's a tiny tiny chance the baby could have to be delivered during/after the version, so when the appointment was scheduled just this Monday for Thursday morning, we frantically started washing clothes, ordered the carseat, and are finally getting our minds ready for baby #2.
Sorry for the long post, but glad I was able to catch up on everyone else's moves and preparations for babies - we're almost there!
@Seslsesl: wishing you so much luck for the ECV! hope it goes smoothly and is not too uncomfortable. Keep us posted!
Anyone else feeling a ton of pressure? It is so painful down there I seriously can’t imagine this going on for 4 weeks. Which probably guarantees it will
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