grapefruit / 4023 posts
@CoffeeMom: oh man I can’t imagine serious contractions with 2 kids - best of luck!!! I’ve been stocking up on board games and indoor things for my kids to do. Keep us posted on the scan - exciting!
@Seslsesl: ugh to people and their comments!! I also feel like Easter week did me in and need to make better choices. At least I always feel more motivated to do so the week before my ob appt
cherry / 239 posts
We had our anatomy scan today, and everything looks good. We are having a GIRL!
@CoffeeMom: yay for a good scan and ! I had to go back and check out what you already have - we are on the same G-B-G plan! I’m super excited for my oldest to be little mommy to a sister congrats!
GOLD / pear / 1942 posts
@CoffeeMom: omg!!!! congratulations!!! wow the girls are really stacking up on this thread. great news and wonderful that you had a good scan.
@Seslsesl: just saw that you were in NYC?! Awesome, what for? I'm still not getting subway seats. last time I didn't until I was heeee-uge. and yeah, not amazing to have your body be open for comments from all. I think most people are trying to be nice and are just excited, but I feel strongly that it should be a social norm that pregnant people should get to comment back on the commenter's body
@bhbee: uh, re the weight jump--YES. I have been so so freaking hungry too and have been eating until full seemingly all the time. so, last pregnancy I gained 26 pounds total, very little of it in the third tri. I was up 22 pounds at 27 weeks and then added the other 4 over the last 14 weeks, so it really tapered off.
but I went to the OB yesterday at 21 weeks and I'm up **22** pounds already--yikes?? I eat a ton of healthy food but also a fair amount of carbs and sweets. she told me to reign in the carbs on the other hand I asked her if she thought I was at risk for GD and she said my number from last time was super low, so at least that's positive if the past informs the present? oy.
persimmon / 1297 posts
@LCTBQE: Delurking to say that I am a couple weeks behind you (I think) and I am up 22 lbs already. And I was 10 lbs over my ideal/happy weight when I got pregnant. But I gained 45 pounds with LO 1 and ended up losing 70. I am really hoping for a repeat situation. You are not alone! I think I am just a magnet for weight during pregnancy.
@crazydoglady: delurking, haha I guess I just had it in my head that this one would be exactly exactly like the last one, you know? and last time I guess I was lucky in that I didn't gain more than I really wanted to; maybe it'll just be different this time, because I am not going to go through the next four months hungry during all waking hours. I always say to other women that your body is kind of a runaway train in pregnancy, like I honestly think so much of it is out of your hands, but now I'm like, hmm was it all the spaghetti/pie? blah. I will be happy when I never have to worry about ttc and pregnancy and breastfeeding again and we just get our freaking bodies back. and that is AMAZING that you lost 70!! wow, way to go. how'd you do it?
@LCTBQE: so, the curve of gain was not the same but I gained almost exactly the same total in my two pregnancies. And I was way more careful the first time (but busier the second once I already had a kid). And both times it came off about the same too. So I bet it will even out!
ETA I also gain more in second tri. I think in third it’s almost all swelling for me and the second tri weight evens out into actual baby stuff. I am soooo scared of summer swelling. With my January baby I lost 30 pounds the week he was born
@LCTBQE: I totally know what you mean. I think it's a bit of both. I know someone who gains 80 lbs every time she is pregnant and she is the tiniest thing when not pregnant.
I honestly didn't do anything besides bf and pump. I am so hungry during pregnancy, and I survived the first trimester by eating everything in sight. The only time I didn't feel sick was when I was eating. Once I had my son, I didn't get the whole super hungry breastfeeding thing. I had my normal appetite back.
@bhbee: @LCTBQE: Thank you!!! Our daughter is over the moon that she is going to have a little sister!
olive / 50 posts
@ CoffeeMom: Congrats on a good scan and baby girl!
@LCTBQE: We live in central NJ, so we just went in for the day to take our daughter to the Museum of Natural History and for some Shake Shack My husband and I used to go to the city all the time, but since having a little kid we only go once a year or so as a family, and every so often by ourselves to see friends or something.
The hunger thing has hit me like a train the past couple of weeks! And a crazy sweet tooth - I want to devour all sweet things all the time! I honestly haven't gained much weight yet, but I think I'm a 3rd trimester gainer. I was maybe 5-10 lbs over my goal weight, but not what I'd consider overweight when I got pregnant, so I was worried at first about needing to gain more, but my midwife hasn't been concerned. I gained around 20-25 with my first pregnancy and lost it pretty quickly, but then gained a lot of it back in the first two years of working motherhood - my diet went to hell, I stopped exercising regularly, and right when I was close to where I want to be, I got pregnant! I'm mostly worried that if I don't get my diet back under control I'll give myself GD - all of the sugar I've been consuming cannot be good for that impending blood sugar test
sorry I'm so late writing back!
@bhbee: this makes me feel better, thxxx. I don't think I'm acting much differently than I did the first time, either--but trying to reign it in somewhat ever since that appointment. I know you're in TX but at least the entire freaking state is air conditioned to death?? up here many of the businesses don't have it. I know everyone dreads summer pregnancy but I have the same due date again and I loved not having to get dressed every day and just being able to wear maxi dresses and birkenstocks
@crazydoglady: yep, we are the same on all of this! I'm not too too worried about pp. and I also know the tiny-frame +75 lbs pregnant lady. bodies are freaking weird. god I wish so much I could make my husband be the one to carry and give birth this time.
@Seslsesl: moving to NJ in two weeks! I'm so excited to have kids big enough to take them to the natural history museum, sounds like fun. and yeah, I'm still a lil concerned about GD, too, even though my number was good last time. sugar test for me isn't for a few more weeks--when is yours?
and update--had my second anatomy scan at 21w last week and everything looked great. baby girl was cooperating and they got all the shots they needed. feeling relieved here's the little mushy! these 3D shots used to creep me out but now I love them.
also thought I'd update the list--is this right? if anyone comes back who posted once like two months ago I'll add you back in!
1st: Seslsesl (#2)
2nd: CaliforniaDreams (#3)
10th: bhbee (#3) , Mrs. Gumdrop (#2)
24th: LCTBQE (#2)
27th: coffeemom (#3)
31st: Math.Nerd (#2)
Sept 4th: EmmaNZ (#2)
@LCTBQE: what a cute pic! I wonder if any of my AMA scans later on will be 3D? or if the baby will be too squished to look like anything at that point? and good luck with the move!! that will be such a big milestone! are you decorating a nursery after the dust settles?
I haven't heard anything about my GD test but I'm guessing 28 weeks - I go in tomorrow so I think I'll hear then. I'm also nervous for no particular reason! I think it's like how you feel nervous when you see a police car with its lights on even if you're not speeding. I'm also not thrilled about stepping on the scale tomorrow since my swelling has begun.
anyone have any fun nursery plans? I'm kind of sad to not have any decorating to do this time (since I'm not even really sure where baby is going to sleep after the first few weeks . . . ) so I want to live vicariously
apricot / 251 posts
Oh ladiez - the weight thing. UGH. I'm trying to embrace it because I know this is the last time I'm gonna do this, but the mirror is NOT my friend! Luckily my OBGYN isn't worried about it.
I started taking weekly progesterone shots to hopefully prevent another preemie, so it really feels like OMG a baby is coming.
I'm starting to obsess over figuring out postpartum care for me - I want to hire a postpartum doula and then likely a part time nanny while I'm still on leave. I didn't get myself ANY support the first time around and it was a HUGE mistake for me. Have any of you second or third time Mamas had a postpartum doula before? Tell me what worked for you and what didn't!
I'm also obsessed with names and I'm convinced this little lady will not have one. I've expanded the search from V names to C and L names to cover my grandmother's middle and last names. Her maiden name was Landry and my husband loves Leah (like lay-ah), but I'm not sold and I worry it's too much of a stretch from Landry to truly honor my grandmother.
Ok. Novel ended. Hope everyone is well!
@bhbee: hahaha, I'm totally going 12 over the speed limit in this analogy I have got to get on this AMA extra scans thing you're talking about! I'm 35 and I started calling myself "middle-aged" this year and I want the extra care, so into this. when are you getting them and what are you getting? last time the second anatomy scan was the final scheduled one. although with my son I had kind of slow/low fetal movement at 39w6d, and reported it when I went in at 40w0d for my final checkup--they sent me straight to the imaging place which determined he was fine, but as a bonus for all the trouble I got an amazing 3D image of his face and I'll be damned, when he came out he really looked like that, it was pretty incredible. so maybe you'll get to see her!
and yes I'm starting a mood board for her nursery with my son our nursery is/was a 6x9 tiny room with no closet, so I was super limited by furniture choices, but her room in the new house is an actual room, whee. are you in a 3-bedroom and that's the conundrum?
@math.nerd: how early was your first? I'm curious what you find about pp doulas, I actually have no concept of what they even do--you should start a thread about it! last time I was a FTM and had zero support (no family, no helpful anyone, really) and I struggled *terribly* with sleep deprivation. my husband who I adore and who is the most amazing dad ever also fucking sucked ass during that time and effectively refused to help me when I was desperate for sleep, so we've had a lot of talks about how that isn't going to fly again. however, I don't trust him on this, so I'm thinking I'm going to hire a baby nurse for maybe weeks 2-4 or so, and then I'll keep my boy in his regular daycare schedule. I don't know how a tradtional baby nurse is different than a doula though? maybe just the hours they keep... are you SAH, or do you work and your older bunny is in childcare?
@math.nerd: re names--is there any other way you could honor her, or does it really have to be with the initial? not trying to sway you, just wondering. but there are a ton of good C names, many more than V I'd think, and you still have so much time! Could either Virginia or Claire bump into the middle along with the other family name and you could have two middle names?? And then pick one you just love for her first name? we're not making any name progress either over here.
@LCTBQE: actually I have no idea what the extra scans/checks will be, I just know she mentioned them as part of being AMA (I’ll be 37 at delivery). They don’t do a lot of extras in general (the norm would be a dating scan and one anatomy scan - and only an NT if you did not do NIPT) - so maybe you’ll get them too! Seems like there are no standards for how places treat AMA though. I’ve never had any later scans so not much experience. I think the idea is something like you’re more likely to have placenta problems or have baby health issues once you’re older so they monitor more closely. I think nothing before 36 weeks - maybe even later - but not sure.
And yes we live in a 3 bedroom - I love living in a close-in suburb but wish we had more space sometimes. My daughter’s room is already a converted formal living room so it just has a small coat closet and storage is rough overall. But we agreed to give it at least a year with three because we really don’t want to move right now.
I also have been telling my husband he needs to get ready to step up. My oldest will never get to school on time otherwise!
apricot / 432 posts
Lurking and checking in on you ladies...
@LCTBQE: "my husband who I adore and who is the most amazing dad ever also fucking sucked ass during that time"...this literally just made me laugh out loud at my desk at work! hahaha Definitely sounds like something I would say!
@LabradorLover: hi! Hope you are doing ok, we miss you!
@LCTBQE: ok, asked today at my appt and yikes they do a lot of extra AMA stuff. I’m pretty surprised because they’re low intervention overall and I had nothing after 20w last time! At 28w I’m doing the GTT and growth sono. Then another sono every 4 weeks. And either a sonogram or NST every week starting 36w. I’m not really thrilled since it seems like a lot for under 40, and these are pretty expensive on my insurance. I figure I’m doing the next one for sure but then I may ask if the pre-36w stuff is really necessary. I will admit though that my last loss left me a bit scarred and it may help me on that front.
@LabradorLover: haha, yeah wish it wasn't COMPLETELY TRUE. thank god he did a 180 shortly thereafter!
@bhbee: wowwww, yeah that is quite a lot. I'm going to ask my OB if/what they do differently for AMA when I go in next month, I'd be surprised if it's that much even though they definitely don't shy away from care and testing. Re nerves, I think some people are stressed out by extra medical care and some people are reassured, sounds like both of us are in the latter camp--but you will find a balance that feels right.
We’re so quiet here! What’s new ladies?? Anyone working on a nursery or buying fun baby things?
I’m almost 26 weeks and feel like I’ve vaulted right past cute size bump to huge. I do not remember it being so huge last time! I do have swelling all over now so maybe the time of year is making a difference? I’m kind of just ready to be full term between swelling starting and the sciatica and spd. My in laws are coming for mother’s day weekend and I’m going to be soooo on edge
Hi! Things are good, but I'm starting to feel pretty over this pregnancy, which was not my experience the first time around. I work at an independent school, and things are both winding down and getting a little crazy as we head into the end of the year, so I know these last 3 months will go by quickly, but I'm starting to get uncomfortable, tired, and cranky. The fact that I have a cold that I can't really take anything for is not helping matters at the moment.
Last week we received some great news about moving into a house on campus, so we're super excited about that, but also trying to figure out how to move when I'll be 36-37 weeks pregnant! Luckily it's only across the street, but still! We're now handling end-of-year work madness, my pregnancy, our 4 year old, and thinking about this move all at the same time!
@bhbee: Sorry that the in-laws will put you on edge! We visited my family two weeks ago, and that was a lot for me, so I can kind of relate.
I've just started collecting some baby things. Another mom at my daughter's school gave us basically a year's supply of baby clothes, so that was awesome! We also have a chair for the nursery, 2 boppies, a rock & play, and some other random baby things, mostly purchased second-hand or given to us. We got rid of basically all baby things when we thought we weren't going to have any more children, so we're almost starting from scratch!
Have you started buying and/or decorating?
@Seslsesl: that’s a lot with the move! Hopefully you can get lots of help. Or pay somebody to pack if you have to!
We’re not decorating since we don’t have another room for this baby and I feel like I’m mostly not doing much! I did buy some new girl clothes since this one will be off season (and different climate) to our first but I still have most of her clothes too. We kept our gear but I’m aiming for a few new baby gadgets. I asked for a binxy baby shopping cart hammock for my bday and we had to buy a new infant seat which I grabbed on sale. For fun I ordered some new burp cloths off Etsy - last time I made them but it’s totally not happening this time. I’m trying to decide if a rock n play might be nice but we live in a small house so I probably shouldn’t, at least until I see what the baby is like.
@bhbee: I need to be on the lookout for carseat sales. We got rid of our infant seat, though it might have expired by now anyways, and need to buy a new one. We still have the crib, things like baby k'taan, ergo, and I'm pretty sure I still have my cloth diapers somewhere (fingers crossed), but we won't know for sure until we go through storage in the move. We don't have a ton of space in our current apartment, so I'm trying to find the balance between preparing for baby without totally cluttering up every room
@Seslsesl: target has been having a sale! Not sure if it’s still on. You could stack it with the trade in discount too (if you knew someone who might have an old seat). But I totally understand about space!!
Happy third tri as we all get there!
Can’t believe I’ll be 28w on Friday but got to take my lovely glucose test this morning. I also had my first “I’m old” ultrasound and it was pretty fun! I had a talkative tech and it’s neat what you can see at a later ultrasound. Also got some cute 3D pics of her face. The tech was able to see hair so I’ll be curious if she gets my husband’s hair (the first two have my blonde but his is dark and curly - though they were born dark and it fell out). Anyway makes it all seem pretty real!
@bhbee: Cute scan! How are you feeling? Third tri is kind of kicking my butt - my back bothers me, I'm more fatigued than normal, and just prone to grumpiness lol. I passed my glucose test, but my blood-work came back with low iron, so I switched my pre-natal and added an iron supplement and I think it's helping with fatigue - I think they're retesting at my 30 week appointment next week.
Since we're moving in a few weeks and work is so busy, we haven't really been doing a ton to prep for baby, but he'll be here in less than 3 months!
@Seslsesl: I think we’re right in the same mental place! I also tested anemic and so hoping the iron helps because I am WIPED OUT. Probably i am mostly just old and tired ha. But happy for no gd. I also had to solo my two all week after hosting my in laws for 4 days for mother’s day so hoping all in I can catch up on energy soon! The good thing I did for myself was get back to the chiro and schedule a prenatal massage last week during my 3yo’s last day of preschool. Hoping the chiro can help with back/hips/pelvis, I think it did make a difference last time.
Sending you some energy for all the upcoming busyness!! I’m starting to give up on my to-do list. I got a new crib sheet for baby girl that makes me happy to walk by and figure the rest I can pretty much do the last weeks (because I will have so much more energy then right?? ) or amazon prime from the hospital I guess it’s a silver lining to not having a room to herself!
@bhbee: A chiropractic and/or prenatal massage is a good idea. I didn't do either with my first, but I told myself I'd do a prenatal this time around. Now that my back and hips are starting to kill me, I think it's time...
And yay for new crib sheets! It's the little things that make it start to feel real. I ordered a dress from Motherhood Maternity and it came with a pacifier...having that little thing just laying around our apartment reminds me that this baby will be here soon even though we have literally nothing else baby-related in the apartment right now
Welcome to the third trimester, ladies! I'm still a few weeks away (25 weeks now) and hopeful to get a full third trimester under my belt!
I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed, actually - I keep feeling like things are stacked against us. I keep getting huge medical bills for items that I would have expected would be 'covered' under pre-natal care. And the truth is, we don't even have the money to cover our regular bills and basics. My husband owns his own business and it's very slow at the moment and I really don't know how we're going to make ends meet. And this is WHILE I'm still working and we're not paying for another kids diapers, child care, medical etc. I feel like I've made a terribly irresponsible decision to have another kid. I have NO IDEA how we will make ends meet when I'm getting a few weeks of disability and having to pay back my employer for medical premiums and navigating all the bills that will come rolling in for labor and delivery - and that's if everything goes well!
On top of this, I just found out that I failed my 1hr glucose test. I'm feeling so guilty about this because I really haven't been eating well or exercising as much as I could. My white blood cell count has been high for a few weeks and no one will give me a straight answer if I should be concerned or not. And I know it's not helping that I can not get a good night's sleep!
I know that I'm lucky, it could be much worse and I do believe that somehow things will work out - but I just don't know how. I even thought today that we should move in with my parents. I'm 36 years old with almost two kids and a good, professional career that I've worked hard for and I can't believe that's actual a realistic and reasonable option.
Sorry for the rant - I just don't know who else to really talk to about this stuff without getting an emotional response! My husband, obviously takes some of the money stuff personally (which it isn't. It's just life). My mom gets too emotional when I get emotional. I'm even going to therapy - but today may be my last session because I can't afford it and my financial stress level goes way up when I go (I've spread it to every three weeks) because I know we don't really have the money for it.
OK. I'll wrap it up. Thanks again for listening! I hope you're all feeling well, have excellent maternal benefits and no issues metabolizing sugars!
@math.nerd: hey there nice to hear from you! And big hugs on everything else. I can’t imagine the stress and I hope some solutions come your way. Medical bills are just the worst. Have you been talking to reps at your insurance to make sure it’s all correct? I HATE hate that stuff (calling and arguing) and it skyrockets my own stress but they make a lot of mistakes. So if you think anything isn’t right, ask for sure! Like in the past year they mistakenly billed me for my annual exam (should be covered for all I think), they billed me incorrectly for an ultrasound (based on it being outpatient when in fact it was in office which were different on our old plan), and we’ve had a ton of mistakes - or at least things they were willing to change - about in network vs out of network. Unfortunately though some of it just sucks, we are on a HD plan and pretty much nothing is paid for by them until we meet that high deductible so we are paying on all routine testing, ultrasounds, etc. Also you can usually ask for payment plans and pay what you can over a long time, especially for big ones like the hospital. We did that for an unexpected hospitalization a couple years ago. Financial people always seem to say to pay your medical bills last if things are tight. You probably know all this but in case it helps!
And as for the gd test, maybe you’ll pass the 3 hour, but if not remember you can’t really give yourself gd. Yes we can all make better choices but it’s really just out of your control if it happens. I hope your next test goes well and you can forget it!
@bhbee: Thanks so much for your kind words. I do need to make some more calls to the insurance company to follow up. I'm sure some of this is incorrect. It's just the time and effort to get them to admit their 'mistakes' is so exhausting. I feel so badly for people who are really and truly sick and don't have the time, money or stamina to follow up -- they are being so taken advantage of.
And yes - it's good advice about paying these bills last. And to be sure to ask for a payment plan. We are on a payment plan with the hospital where I had my son - we pay $133 a month and have done so since he was born. When his bill was paid off, it was just in time to add my previous D&C to the bill. When I got the statement this month, I realized that our last payment on that bill will be in August -- Just in time to add our new costs! Hooray? Maybe someday I'll laugh at all of this.
I also did have a laugh when I realized that we have purchased zero items for this baby - we have been given lots of lovely hand-me-downs, her wardrobe and style will for sure be that of her big brother! I'll have to invest in some cute pink bows until she grows some hair
@math.nerd: I'm sorry to hear about the medical bill stress! I definitely second what bhbee said and suggest calling and advocating for yourself as much as possible. When I think of some of the bills I've paid out of panic that my HR rep then told me should have been covered, I get irritated with myself, but can also totally relate to your feelings when you see those statements! I'm not sure if your insurance is through your job and you have a human resources person, but they can be really helpful navigating these things too!
We haven't bought much for this baby either! He's getting lots of hand me downs from friends and yard sale sites. We stupidly got rid of my daughter's infant car seat (though it might've expired by now), so we'll get that new, but other than that and things like baby shampoo and diaper cream, most things will be hand me downs or bought second-hand, so I'm right there with you!
I hit 30 weeks today - 10 weeks from due date sounds crazy and so soon, but I feel like this trimester will drag on and on. We'll be very busy between now and August, so hopefully it'll go quickly - I'm kind of over being pregnant and ready to meet this baby, but I'm trying to make myself enjoy these final weeks as much as possible since we aren't planning on any more children.
Has anyone started thinking about a birth plan or planning for delivery? My first was fast and easy, and I'm hoping for another intervention-free labor and delivery, so I feel like I should be preparing more, but it still feels so far away...
@Seslsesl: if your first was fast I think it’s probably fine not to plan a lot! Especially if your ob/hospital hasn’t changed. I’m feeling way more relaxed about it this time because my first labor was long but my second was short. My ob did switch hospitals so I’m going to go over my old birth plan with her again to ask if she thinks anything will be a problem (it’s just a short list of stuff like hep lock vs continuous iv, intermittent monitoring, etc). And who knows I may get sick of being pregnant and agree to an induction vs waiting it out and it all goes out the window! But I really would like another med free birth if I can get there.
The thing I have started to freak out about is childcare if I go into labor at all early. My mom is going to come a few days before my due date and I probably won’t go earlier than that but you never know! I know it will all work out but it’s so hard to plan something like that.
@Seslsesl: That's awesome about your HR person! HR at my office is a bit of a joke. I was just on jury duty and no one could tell me if it was going to be paid or not. I asked to speak to someone about leave and what it would cost me and she said "That's a good question! We'll have to learn about it together!". EEK.
What did you do the first time to prepare for intervention free birth? We did a Bradley Method class but things didn't go as planned (of course). I found that my husband - as great of a father as he is - is NOT a great birthing partner!
@bhbee: I need to take a look at our birth plan - I probably should see what I can still reasonably ask of my doctor - the hep lock vs IV thing is so crucial to me! I also want to be sure they don't cut the cord right away (if possible) and all that good stuff. So much to remember!!!
@math.nerd: we did Bradley for our first too! I also think having a doula was a huge help. I didn’t really need it for the second though. The good news is if you were able to give birth vaginally the second time is pretty likely to be quicker/easier! I needed so much less support for that reason. Wishing us all a short labor
@bhbee: We had a doula too! She turned out to be a bust - she was our original's back up since ours was out of town. I remember distinctly coming out of a contraction and looking at both my husband and doula and they were looking at me with such panic and distress in their faces! I immediately said, get me the epidural! I needed to take control of the situation. Which suited me better anyway
When I asked my husband about that labor and what he remembered, the first thing he said was, "Well, I was so exhausted and I napped a lot". And I almost spit my drink in his face. Then I asked, how do you see it going this time? and he said, well hopefully we can labor at home for a while and then go to the hospital and then "they can take it from there". That was the moment I realized that he was NOT paying attention in Bradley class! Thank GOODNESS he's an amazing dad. His labor and delivery partner skills could use some serious work.
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