Hi all,
LO is hitting and we say nice hands, hitting hurts and even show him how to touch gently but he seems to be doing it for a “reaction”. We are calm when reacting but stern- any tips, ideas? TIA
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Sounds like you’re doing everything right. Sadly, in my experience, it takes time. They need to grow out of it and learn how else to express their frustration.
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Agree, you're doing what you should. My LO went through a hitting phase around 18 months too. We'd reinforce with timeout after showing him gentle hands, but I know that's not for everyone. (It'd be something along the lines of "We don't hit, we use nice hands like this. Can you pat instead of hit? *have him pat* If you hit again, you're going to time out.")
Unfortunately, it just takes time - now, at 22 months, the hitting phase is long gone. I remember feeling like it took FOREVER for him to get over it though. Hitting is one of those things that just pushes my buttons.
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My kid did the same. Some kids hit more than others. It's embarrassing but ... Normal
. My son hit a lot at that age and eventually grew out of it. I don't think anything we did made him stop- he definitely liked the attention we gave to him trying to get him to stop so I don't know what the right answer is!
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Part of what has helped with my toddler is giving him very explicit suggestions on what to do with his hands, like saying why don't you pet ______, or why don't you rub ________ or why don't you do high fives or maybe you could do a clapping game.
Most of this time at how to do with his baby sister but it also works with our arms or legs if he hits us.
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There's a great book, "hands are not for hitting," that was in heavy rotation for awhile bc lo1 loved it around that age. it goes through all the other things you do with your hands, like waving, eating, playing, etc.
also, our daycare uses language around hitting or any kind of hurting behaviors that seem to work really well. say kid 1 hits kid 2; the adult says "uh oh kid 1, it looks like you hurt kid 2! ouch! can you check on kid 2's body?" and then "what can you do to help make it better?" even my my 23 month old answers the first by asking "okay?" and then w the second, offers hugs, an ice pack, or a band-aid. and then the adult reinforces that by saying something like "that was really friendly to get an ice pack." it seems a bit awkward to say "check on their body" but it really seems to reinforce empathy
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I praised when he hit anything besides a person.
"Yeah!!! You hit the item (sofa, chair, book, etc.)!!! Clap, clap, clap
It's the only thing that worked for me.
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@nana87: We are going to book store tomorrow! I will look for this one or order it on Amazon. Thank you
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@Mrs. Toad: He does this at times but then will turn around and attempt to hit my arm or leg...ugh!
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@DesertDreams88: I am going to look into this- he goes to school today so hoping and praying he doesn’t get a bad report. I am also thinking it’s his first week and he’s already alittle stressed there and now I think he’s in the 18 month sleep regression:/
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9 comments