I've been hearing a lot of comments about how difficult the terrible 2s and/or 3s can be - like it is worse than having a newborn. It's gotten me wondering about space planning. Most people want to wait until LO is about 2 years apart from the next. So for those who have done this - how awful was it dealing with a newborn AND a toddler in the "terrible 2s or 3s"? Do you wish you had spaced them closer or further?
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My kids are 16 months apart. There are periods of terrible for us right now (getting ready in the morning) but nothing too bad yet....maybe we haven't hit the full blown terrible 2s?
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Our kids are 23 months apart. The infat and toddler stage was actually not bad for us. I was worried too. It got a little more difficult when the baby became mobile and started getting into her brother's things. So, for a while, there was a lot of crying and whining because my son didn't want to share his things. Now they're best buds. They still argue pretty often but they really do love each other. When my daughter is distressed, sometimes she asks only for her brother.
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Mine are almost exactly 2 years apart. I think it would have been much, much easier if they were more like 3.5-4 years apart. My 2.5 year old is very active and needs a lot of attention and of course, my 5 month old still needs constant care. Sometimes, I feel bad for them because I just can't always give them the attention they need. It certainly makes for some very long days.
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My kids are 26 months apart, so when J was born, N had just turned 2. Honestly, the 2's and 3's haven't been as bad as I thought they'd be. Don't get me wrong, there were some tantrums here and there, but it wasn't as bad as I expected.
Maybe I had expected the worst of the worst of the worst... so my reality was actually better than I anticipated.
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I think you will have your rough days, but it's not all day every day so you just get through it!
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My LOs are 28 months apart. Until now, the hardest thing is just juggling naps -- someone always needs to nap -- but I think, at a month shy of 3, the 3's are starting to set in. And it's making me rage-y. But honestly, the baby isn't really a factor in that except for the fact that I'm still usually up once a night and thus have less patience for the boundary-testing.
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@mynoahbear: This is my worry! LO is very active! I'm wondering if I should wait until she's closer to 3!
@Mrs. High Heels: I'll try to keep thinking this way. Anticipate the worst!
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I don't think it really matters that much. If your child has bad 2/3, then it'll be bad whether they have a sib or not. Our girls are 21 months apart, but #1 didn't really get rough until 3... So there's no real predicting.
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Mine is in the terrible 1's, I'm surviving
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Mine are a few days shy of 21 months apart. We had some rough days, but DD's 2s weren't bad. Her 3s are fine so far too!
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I only have LO #1 but following this thread!
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Exactly 3 yr spacing... Having a newborn and toddler was hard logistically but not because of terrible 3s (they were ok for us). My DD got way more difficult at age 4... So it's really hard to predict what will happen!
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Following this thread. LO#2 is due when LO#1 will be 22 months, so... hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst
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I think this is hard because you don't know what your kid's hardest age will be! My kids will be 16 months apart, but my SIL has a 3 year old and is due with another a month before he turns 4, and she is incredibly nervous about it because her son is going through a terrible stage with lots of aggression.
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Mine are 20 months apart and although it's only been a few days i am hoping that this timing works out better than a 2-3 year age gap because DS1 is not quite in his terrible twos and we can hopefully get through the really difficult newborn period before it kicks in. We'll see how it goes but so far DS1 has been adjusting well and is very excited about his baby brother. He is a bit mad at me and has been more clingy with DH but I'm hopeful he will forgive me. My mom and sister both say their oldest never forgave them for having a baby and the age gaps were 2.5 and 3.5 years
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15 comments