I haven't posted in more than a year, but we are desperate for help. We have a 3.5 year old son and an 18 month old son. The older one has always been difficult, but for the last year his behavior has just been getting worse and worse. It is gotten to the point where I am severely depressed and my husband is stressed beyond belief. We both have intense jobs, which adds to the burden.

Specifically, he screams and tantrums all day long for not getting his way. He also is deeply upset by his younger brother, pushing him for no reason, taking his toys, etc. He is intensely jealous of him as well. If I pick the younger one up, the older one just starts screaming in rage. I'd say about 90% of our energies, however, are devoted to the older one.

He also never listens or follows directions. Literally everything is a huge fight. I can't get him to camp without having to manhandle him, which I don't want to do. He won't eat anything without a lot of coaxing.

He also is incredibly clingy to me. He will not leave my side and screams and screams whenever I leave the room to make a sandwich or go upstairs to work. I work out of the house a lot (he has a nanny), and so this has become a big problem. His behavior is so bad that I am embarrassed to have friends or family over (he is worse when my attention is divided) and so we've completely isolated ourselves.

His sleeping used to be the one thing that we could count on. Unfortunately, he wakes up every night in the middle of the night, starts screaming in the hallway, waking everyone up. We are beyond exhausted.

We have been to see a therapist. They thought he had anxiety with ancillary behavioral issues. He has always been sensitive. We tried implementing some of their discipling techniques (time outs for not listening or hitting) but they haven't worked at all. They also suggested doing 20 minutes of positive one on one time a day, but that didn't help at all either. I've talked to his teachers and camp counselors. They say he is well-behaved at camp and school.

Please help. I thought some of this was the fact that he wasn't napping. A month ago, we reintroduced the nap, but it has not helped. Naptime has become a huge battle, his nighttime sleeping has worsened, and his behavior has also deteriorated. I dread every night, knowing I won't sleep due to his night wakings. I dread every day because his tantrums and fits are just nonstop. I'm feeling like a terrible mother, and I can't help but think that I've ruined my life. I also wonder if my expectations are just too high, and this is just how parenting is.

I've tried positive parenting techniques. I've tried being stricter. Nothing seems to work. Feeling hopeless.