(Not for me!!!)
A friend of mine has a son the same age as my daughter (3). We were talking about her plans for a gap between kids and she is thinking she would like to have another when her son is 4. Anyone else have the 4 year gap? Do you like it?
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I know someone who did this and she said it was so easy going from 1 to 2 because the age gap was perfect. Her kids seem to love each other and the older one is helpful. Also the older one started kindergarten when the little one turned one and to me the timing seems really nice.
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@mediagirl: haha my first thought before opening the thread was "what are you doing to me?!??"
My biggest con to a 4year age gap is they will almost always be in different schools. 16-18 years of drop off pick ups at two different locations!
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My older sister and I are four years apart and we are best friends. We have always gotten along really well and she really liked having a new baby (so im told). We were actually five years apart in school (born just before and after the cutoff) so we were never in the same schools whih was a bummer. But since she has been my best friend since we were young I don't think it hurt us any.
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I wanted 3 years I am getting almost exactly 4 years (due dates are one day apart but he was almost two weeks late and she isn't here just yet). Since she isn't here I'm not sure. I wish they would have been at the same school but it wasn't possible for us. He is definitely helpful at this age and he loves talking about his baby. So hopefully that continues.
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My brother and I are 4 years apart. I think it's too big a gap. We were never really friends until he was college age. we were always at different points in our lives.
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I have cousins, 3 siblings, who are 5 years apart from one another and are very close and just the sweetest to each other. They are nicknamed the 3 musketeers because they have always liked to stick together at family functions. They have always liked to hang out together after school, or on weekends, playing scrabble and other board games. It was a sweet sight to see. Even now as adults, they make time to see one another, ages 21, 26, and the oldest is 31. It's most likely that their personalities just fit well together. I think it's possible to be good friends with siblings with a big age gap.
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My brother and I are 4 years apart. We had tons of fun growing up. My mom said it was nice because I played with him while she made dinner, etc. we never went to the same school, but I thought that was great, allowed us to be our own people. Also, only one kid at a time in diapers, and a minimal amount of time paying for 2 in daycare!
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I think I want a three or four year gap. Two just seems too soon to turn around and do it all again. The thought of dealing with a 2 YO and a tiny baby is also very unappealing...it just seems supremely exhausting. Plus I'd be going back to work for *such* a short time before going straight back on mat leave.
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Ours will be just about 4 yrs 5 mos apart. I'm due in 8 days with a baby boy and Big Sister is SO EXCITED. I don't know how this will go just yet, but I know that the timing was perfect for our family, and I couldn't imagine doing this any sooner. I love all the time we've had with my daughter as an only child and now we feel so ready to welcome another child into our lives. I hope that my children will get along with each other and love & support one another for their whole lives, but I was never looking for my kids to be "best friends" (if they are, that's wonderful!!!!) so that aspect of a very close age gap wasn't a factor for me when deciding our plans for age gap.
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My oldest and youngest are a little shy of four years apart, and it's great! She is such a helper! I have one in the middle, so a slightly different dynamic, but the now five year old and the one year old is an easy age gap! (That beig said, remind her of the sleep deprivation, the diapers, and all the other joys of newborns you quickly forget, that oul be hard)
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At first I was like whaaaaa!!! just like @regberadaisy:
Second thought is I think a 4 year gap is no big deal but it would be nice if they were only 3 school years apart!
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Mine will be close to 6 years apart when #2 comes along. My sister and I were 6 years apart and I think that was too much. My brother and I are 4 years apart and we're really close. The 6 year gap wasn't great when we were younger becaus I was always "the annoying little sister" but now that we are older,my sister and I are very close. I honestly wish mine would have been closer but there isn't anything else we could have done. That being said, my little guy is so excited for a sibling and to help which is something we wouldn't have experienced if we had gotten #2 when he was 2 like we planned.
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We are still in the, "Do we want another baby?" camp, but the 4 year gap is really appealing, and will likely be our plan.
Reviving this thread to see if there are any new perspectives since it was last discussed.
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We will have just shy of a 4 year gap. It's cool how excited LO is and I think she will be a big help (once she outgrows this threenager stage). We wanted slightly closer but this is the hand we were dealt so trying to embrace it.
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I'm looking at a 4+ year gap. My daughter is 3.5, and we are going to start trying in a month. I took my last pill last weekend!
I like the idea of a 4 year gap because our daughter will be helpful and able to entertain herself when needed, and because when I take my maternity leave and pull her out of daycare for the year, when mat eave is over she'll be starting school, so we won't be hit with double daycare bills. -
DH and his brother had a 5 year gap. We both agree that was way too big. They couldn't relate to each other at all until college and beyond.
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My sister and I are 4 years apart - we didn't get along in middle or high school but I think it was more personality than a bigger age gap that played into it. We were very competitive and I think it was actually good we were always in separate schools. We grew very close during college years and now talk almost every day. We're at very different stages in our lives, but it hasn't affected our relationship.
I'm 11 weeks pregnant now and my LO is 3, so they will be almost exactly 4 years apart. I never wanted 2 under two and when it came time to start trying for them to be three years apart, I just wasn't ready. I'm looking forward to LO being in preschool a few days a week and getting to spend one-on-one time with the baby. I love the baby stage and didn't want to feel rushed through it. Once LO is in school full-time, I may consider going back to work (I currently work part-time but will quit to SAH once the baby arrives).
It's been fun talking about the baby with LO and hearing his thoughts - he doesn't completely get the concept but has been asking more questions lately. I like that we can involve him in choosing a big boy bed for his room, picking out toys and clothes for the baby, etc. I'm hoping he'll be a good helper since he does like doing chores but I have no expectations on that haha.
I'm more nervous about nap schedules and the constant feedings, but I'm hoping this baby will be more "on-the-go" since LO was a strict in the crib only napper!
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We are planning on 3-4 years and I really think it's going to work out well.
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We are 6 month on from my earlier post and all is still well. He still wants to love on her and even took her for his share ( show and tell) day. She adores him and looks up to him. He is getting more independent but that may be because I'm acting as a single parent until my hubs gets a job in the new town. He does feel that he doesn't get enough attention sometimes but again that would likely happen as we have moved and I'm working full time.
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My brother and I are 6 years apart, and were and still are absolute best friends. It was great growing up that we didn't go to the same school, so we could be our own people. My mom said he was a big help, and she loved not having two in diapers at the same time. Plus, each child got their own individual one on one time, yet still had a sibling relationship. I definitely want to have one on one time with each child, and hopefully not feel as stretched thin having them super close together. This is all if we even ttc #2 in a few years, as I'm stretched pretty thin with the one I have
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My sister and I have a 5 1/2 year age gap and she is my best friend. I will say growing up I always hated that we weren't in the same school, but looking back that was probably for the best. We are very similar and that might have made us competitive. Whereas with the gap as it is we just appreciate each other's similarities but didn't have any competition.
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