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I work in the social work field and have dealt with many, many,many people with disabilities and special needs from kids to adults. I always wanted to care for a SN child but once I started doing it for a living, I'd had my fill. I feel very lucky to be able to take care of them but then go home at the end of the day to life...because it is truly very exhausting both emotionally as well as physically. I'm not discouraging you! It is awwwwwesome that you have the desire but in my honest and humble opinion: I wouldn't go out seeking it I were you. I see many adult children with special needs being forced to live off disability, other federal aid & their parents. It is so so tough on the entire family.
Again though: it takes an angel to do it and you are an annnngel for even wanting to go for it. So many people in this world don't have the desire to help those who need it most; it's sad.

@anonysquire: oh more more thing:) you could always try it out as a foster parent first....that way you can see what it's like before adopting the child. If you see it's not a good fit for your household, well then at least you took care of te child until he/she was adopted by someone else:)

@anonysquire: Having disabilities myself and knowing my child will likely have many of the same special needs, I think it could be both intensely challenging and rewarding at the same time. Most people don't really know the full range of what life is like with developmental or sensory disorders. Growing up and as an adult, you encounter a lot of attitudes ranging from patronizing to downright derogatory, but the love of a family and community can do a lot to help break down those attitudes.

If you feel this is right for you, I think it's worth exploring further!

I don't think its for everyone, but I would consider adopting a special baby.

My cousin and her DH did. They got a little boy from China. He was deaf. They have gotten him cochlear implants, and he also now wears glasses. OMG he is a doll in his glasses! It was a perfect fit for them, and they were looking for a child like that. She works as a speech therapist, and knows sign language, so it worked out great.

Our family all treats him the same. I think if anyone in our family had a special needs baby (adopted or biological) they would all treat them the same.

There are people who want to do this and can handle it, and people who can't (neither is wrong, it's an intensely personal thing). If you're in the first class, it doesn't matter that others you're talking to are in the second class. Of course it will be hard, but you are aware of that and it's what's in your heart to do, and if you and DH are on the same page with it and fully prepared, then I don't think you should let others dissuade you!

I would definitely be open to it but I've discussed it with DH and he's not interested at all.

I think that it's fantastic that you would consider adopting a baby with Special Needs.
For me, the decision would come down to money, time and resources available.
I know I have enough love in my heart and patience to raise a child with a disability but in order to give the child a good life I would need a lot more available time and money.

I think it's hard for people to understand, because in an ideal world we'd all have healthy babies while in healthy loving relationships and there would be no babies without families needing adoption.

Some people view adoption as a last resort for those unable to conceive, where as others see adoption as an opportunity to provide a chance for a good life for a child that may not otherwise have the opportunity. For some, it's both.

From an outsider's viewpoint:
If they consider adoption "Providing an opportunity", then it makes sense that you would choose a child with as many special needs as you think you could capably meet.
If they see it more as a replacement for becoming pregnant, then others might question why you would choose anything other than a perfectly healthy child.

What I said above may not really make much sense, but it did in my head while I was typing it.