My boss knows that we are going to be adopting, but doesn't know that I am not planning on coming back to work. I know it is really tricky to decide when to tell your employer you are going to be a SAHM, but it seems like especially so with the uncertainty of adoption!

We are in the early stages of the process, and are anticipating completing our homestudy and entering the “waiting” phase of the adoption process in late winter/early spring – at that time, we could be placed at any time. Our agency has made it sound like we will be placed quickly because we are not specifying a particular race. It’s tricky because it’s such a case-by-case basis. In one situation we may be matched with someone who is 6 months pregnant and have some notice. In another situation we may get a call from the agency and the next day be picking up our baby from the hospital! (how crazy would that be?!?!?)

I don’t want to screw my employer over, but at the same time, I am fearful of telling them my plans of being a SAHM and then being let go. But what if we have one of those situations where we only have a day or two notice that we have been matched? Is it generally frowned upon to go on maternity leave, and during leave to tell them I won’t be coming back?

I know I have a few months to think about this, but it's already stressing me out. I would love any advice on this topic!