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I did not adopt, but my sister has adopted two children and my close friend adopted one. Another friend is trying to adopt.

Domestic adoptions can be very expensive. Yes foster-adopt can be very cheap, this is the way my friend is trying to go. There are some disadvantages to going that way. Such as waiting a very long time before getting a child, having a child who isn't released for adopting or an older child. Children may also have other issues based on their history.

You can go through an adoption agency which is much more expensive but the advantages are that you are more likely to get a baby if that is what you want. My sister's kids cost 40K for the first and 20K for the second (different agencies). My friend had a mother who wanted to adopt her child out but still went through an agency and it was expensive.

You have to pay for all lawyer fees, paperwork fees, sometimes the mother's expenses as well.

From my research, it would cost about 15 to 20k to adopt an domestic infant.
We looked into costs, the cheapest adoption would be to Foster a child (3 years or older), that would cost 5k.

It could very well cost 10k with grants.

As someone who is suffering from infertilty, it's expensive. We couldn't afford more than one IVF. IVF is what 25k average.

Because of that cost, we probably will skip IVF and go right to adoption.

@bluestriped bee: IVF is more like $12-15,000 a cycle unless you're adding on things like PGD which usually doesn't happen.

@spaniellove: oh, thanks. I was looking at that paid up front plan which was like 4 IVFs plan. That was the number that got stuck in my head.

In my state, the all agencies I contacted quoted me $25,000 to $30,000 for domestic infant adoptions. The money goes towards all kinds of things - medical expenses, lawers for both you and the birthparents, classes, social workers, the advertising your agency would do, living expeneses for the birthmom. All those things really add up!

Foster-to-adopt is much cheaper and we looked into that, but all the foster care agencies I contacted pretty much turned us away when we said we were looking to adopt a baby. They really seem to just be looking for people open to older children, sibling sets and special needs. Someone I know was a foster parent and fostered 4 or 5 babies and they all were reunified with their biological parents... so it's really tough to adopt a really little one through foster care.

Ooh, adoptive families magazine does a cost estimate survey each year. They give nationwide aggregate estimates.

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1617

@bluestriped bee: It's very unpopular with agencies, but when adoptive parents push for either a very short pre-birth match or a baby born situation, costs are much lower. It's part of the reason agencies don't like them... But they have lower likelihood of failure due to expectant mom changing her mind and lower overall costs.

@mrs. bird: probably shouldn't phone type but maybe its just that there's differences state by state 'my sisters in Michigan and has said there isn't a track to foster to adopt there whereas in Iowa there is. That's vague. She's pursuing fostering and were hoping to investigate it for ourselves as well.

@Mrs. Train: Ours had (reasonable) set birth mother fees, nothing paid until match and the whole amount rolls over if match falls through... so very safe and the fees were not extraordinary. Probably about what I lived on in college... and that included all the counseling and social work.

But that was pretty amazing to find an agency with no birth mother fees!

@mrs. bird: I haven't heard of it, but I think Brockton is just as far for me as for you, lol.

@Mrs. Jacks: that was one of our deciding factors. I really was uncomfortable with the idea of paying for housing and medical and some with no guarantees. I hated the stories of birth mothers who take advantage of adoptive parents. It was just too scary for me.