I'll try to keep this brief. I'm hoping there are a few of you here who have experience with Adult Services, whether professionally or as a client. My MIL has dementia, likely Alzheimers, although it hasn't been officially diagnosed. DW and her sister are slowly moving toward getting her help, getting her affairs in order, etc. She has a trust set up but nothing else was in order, no one has POA, etc. It's kind of a mess. MIL is incredibly disorganized, and both DW and sister live far enough away to make this all very difficult. Also, MIL has a live in "companion," an ex boyfriend who just never left. He's been semi-supported by her, no one is really sure to what degree, for many, many years. He is now feeling entitled to her money, and uses it for his own expenses quite freely.

So it's gotten to the point where she is needing more help. Not necessarily full time nursing help, but she needs someone with her at all times, basically. DW and her sister have been talking about finding help for 10 months, but no one is quite sure how to go about it in a way that MIL will accept. The live in companion is working hard to make MIL suspicious of just about everyone, including her daughters.

DW took MIL to the doctor yesterday to get the diagnosis process started so the trust goes into effect. The doctor said she would make a report/referral to adult social services if they want, including a report of elder abuse on the companion. DW declined, but is wondering if maybe she should've done it. She is concerned about what it would look like.

Thoughts? Would you get adult services involved? My thinking is that a social worker referral could be super helpful in this situation, organizing services and helping DW and her sister get things moving to get her mom help.