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Does she fight her nap? She might be ready to drop it.

What time is bedtime? Does she get mommy and daddy fine before bed? Has sleep always been a struggle?

Hyland's Calm and Restful might be worth a shot? Also maybe sourcing as many tv shows about cooperative bedtimes as you can? Daniel Tiger has one. Watch them over and over talking about how rest makes our bodies grow strong and how lovely it is to rest in bed when our bodies are tired from playing all day. Just relentless, relentless conversation about how wonderful sleep is and how proud you will be of her when she gets big enough to learn to take care of her body by resting.

We just dropped nap with our 3yo for this exact reason and it's been amazing. We went from grumpy afternoon/evenings and screaming for us all night until 11/12 to him being so much calmer,happier and conking out right after bath and stories. It still hasn't solved the early morning wake ups but I'm giving up on that for now because we've tried everything at this point and nothing works. I'll settle for easier nighttime for now and skipping nap accomplished that!

My three year old only sleeps about ten hours a night (and he doesn't nap). Maybe bedtime is just too early?

@littlejoy: We had a lot of trouble with the door issue too. I would take the monkey Jan off, and just close the door regularly. If you have to you can turn the doorknob around and lock it from the outside. But we just did on the outside and help the door shut so she realize she had to stay in her room. Our rule was you can scream in your room all you want, but you cannot hit the walls or the door. If she banged on the door, we would open the door and swiftly take 1 toy out of the room.

@littlejoy: trust your instincts of course, but just wanted to add that my son also gets very tired at nap time so we have quiet time instead where he watches tv for an hour then we slowly increase the activity level after that. I find that if he naps for even 10 minutes during the day bed time is a nightmare and he's awake later than dh and me. I think recently he reached a point where he just needs less total sleep than he used to but was used to taking naps (and of course his nanny was encouraging longer naps) so bedtime was really suffering. Good luck whatever course you choose, I'm sure with time it will sort itself out either way!

@littlejoy: oh bummer on the allergens. It was safe for us because we only had to worry about milk proteins. Maybe some Rescue Remedy? And yeah, time, consistency, positive conversations. Good job, Mama. This is hard, but you're helping her with learning a vital life skill!

@littlejoy: This might be long because my 3 year old was also a bad sleeper. Now she sleeps 7:30 to 5:30.

Before she totally dropped the nap, we had some success with skipping a nap just a day or two a week. She's 39 months and has completely dropped napping unless she's sick.

If you do try dropping the nap, one thing that we've used for quiet time are those books that come with a CD (Disney makes a lot of them called Read Along Storybooks). She can lay in her room and listen to the story or read along if she wants - it dings to turn the pages.

Another thing that really helped us was an OK to Wake Clock. I was skeptical but got it on the recommendation of someone on here, actually. It somehow takes the pressure off to say "Oh darn, the clock is still yellow. Remember we stay in bed until it's green."

We also instituted "No feet on the floor until Mommy or Daddy comes to get you." Of course, this means if she needs something or wants us to come in, she yells out for us but I vastly prefer that over hearing her little footsteps out of bed all night long. Your mileage may vary on whether your kid actually follows this rule but it worked for us. Good luck!

Personally I never cared if they slept in their bed or on the floor. Whatever just stay in your room and go to sleep. I found it too disruptive to try to force her to stay in her bed.

We also had a lot of talks about get your last drink go potty one last time etc. because once you're in bed you are not coming out for anything except an emergency (and we would tell her basically only blood or potty was an emergency).

My son really needs water by his bed before sleep. I don't know why but he is really thirsty and I think it fills his belly some to go to sleep. So we let him have a sippy cup in his bed.

I'm not sure how helpful these will be but some thoughts:

1) Definitely move bedtime back to 8:00, I think this will help. At 3+ that was our bedtime (and still is at 5). Our girl was a napper also until 5 when she started Kinder, so I'm not a big fan of dropping naps early.

2) If you think that she will agree to not getting out of her bed, I'd try the aforementioned no feet on the floor suggestion. There are drawbacks to this. We implemented this when we went to a toddler bed at 2y3mo, so I'm not sure how effective it will be now. At 5, LO is just now starting to come out of her room without specifically calling for us. But most of the time she still will callout. It can be annoying (MOMMMAAA I dropped an animal...). This is probably our #1 most effective thing, in that she might not sleep as fast as we want her too, but she will stay in her bed and mostly we are out of her room and not tending to her.

3) Let her know she's not missing anything FUN. Mom and Dad are doing boring things like cleaning the house or going to sleep soon as well.

4) We used a doorknob cover on the inside of the door as a training tool to keep LO in her room. This might be easier than turning the knob around if you think it would work. We keep bedroom doors closed completely for our kiddos. Once LO stopped getting out of her bed we removed the cover.

@littlejoy: I love an early bedtime too, but if I put my 3 yo to bed at 7, she would easily stay up past 9 because she get too wired from being in bed so early. She still naps for 1.5 hrs each day - she needs it and frankly, would still nap for 3 hours if I didn't wake her up. Our sweet spot is bedtime at 8:15 and she's usually asleep by 8:30, although some nights, it's closer to 9. Most mornings, she's awake by 6:30, 7 at the latest. When she drops her nap (never I hope :)), I expect bedtime will be a bit earlier. It sounds like you have some other issues going on that are interfering with sleep, but I thought seeing another 3 yo schedule might be helpful.

@littlejoy: Badger Balm has an aromatherapy balm called "Night-Night Balm" that's formulated for kids. It's lavender and chamomile, and I don't think it has any allergens in it. I've had some for ages and never used it, but I'm going to start because my DD (who just turned 3) is doing the exact same thing as yours.

@littlejoy: just another thought but what happens if other people try and put her to bed at night? Is it just you and her Dad that she plays up for?

There's no way my LO would have ever fallen asleep at 7PM when she was 3. Putting her to bed that early would have led to battles like you describe because the bedtime was too early and she wasn't tired yet or ready to sleep. I'm with others who say try moving back bedtime. When LO was 3 she often wouldn't even fall asleep at 8. Some kids just don't need that much sleep and trying to force it leads to power struggles and battles.