My cousin, slightly younger than me is having twin girls, due just 2 months before me. The younger part isn't a big deal for me, but it might be for her since we're Asian and she's raised in Asia.

I'm having a girl as well and I'm pretty sure of the name. In fact, my husband just said if it's OK to start referring to her in her name because in a few days, it'll happen automatically for him. I originally wanted to see our baby first before naming her, but the only 2 names on "the list" are very similar (interchangeable names). Once my midwife told us the gender, my first thought was, the name we picked.

Back to my cousin, thing is she isn't revealing her names before birth, and I totally understand that, but I want to avoid having the same name and with twins, there's a higher chance of it. My original plan was to just wait until she had her babies and pick a name after --- but that would mean I'd have to wait until the last 2 months AND that was before we had a name set.

So my question is: how do I go about this without pressuring her or hurting her feelings while at the same time, not feeling like I have to ask for permission?

Do I just announce it without discussing it with her? Do I tell her first and see if it's a name she picked out as well? If I do that, AND it is a name she picked, I'm afraid she'll feel like she has to change her name -- which I do not want. Will I change my name, I'm not sure anymore (something I thought I'd do before), we're getting increasingly attached to it.

To be honest, right now I don't even care if our names are the same, but I'd rather have it done in my terms (if that makes any sense at all). I just don't want to feel like I have to wait for anyone else (other than DH) before being able to pick out our daughter's name.

Any and all advice are greatly appreciated!