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There is 8.5 months between my oldest and my twins. That's just crazy and no one does that. but then my daughter came along two years later. I love the two year age gap. The boys loved her when we came home. They were able to play a bit on their own while I nursed her. Now they bicker quite a bit but to be honest I think that's pretty normal for siblings.

Mine will be 2.5 years apart. I really don't know if one is best, there are pros and cons to all options. 2 years or less is hectic and they might be great friends as kids but there is also a lot of opportunity for rivalry/hate as teens. 3 or more years you have an older more responsible kid (who can help with baby) but they might be more resentful at first and you also prolong the time you go without much sleep lol. Plus having to hang onto baby stuff for years and years.

Having seen lots of sibling relationships of adults among my friends (with spacing varying from 2 years to 10 years) I think the "closeness" of siblings is not based on an age gap but on individual personalities and the way the family is raised (some people are raised in more "distant" families and others communicate a lot more and focus on doing things together). I know siblings who are 2 years apart that aren't close and siblings 10 years apart who are very close.

We were trying to balance a lot of things, and amazingly got the exact gap I was hoping for - 2.75 years. Very specific, I know, lol.

I wanted our kids to be close together. I grew up with a brother that was 5.5 years younger than me, and we were never very close. We also live in an area with high daycare costs, but the costs drop significantly once kids are in the preschool room at 2y9m. I'm hopeful that once the baby comes, we will have a similar experience to @lamariniere: since DS can communicate really well now, he's mostly potty trained, and he STTN.

I'm not sure I'd very good at dealing with 2 infants at once. I also don't want multiple kids in vastly different stages of life either. The only cons I see are that 2 can be a difficult age. If DS was younger I think he'd be more likely to take a new baby in stride, and I think they'd be able to play together sooner.

We really wanted 2 years or less between our LO's just so that they would have a close relationship, but I really don't think I will get pregnant within the next 2-3 months. So we will most likely have our LO's 2.5-3 years apart

@Portboston: I thought I'd give my perspective as an adult. My sister and I are exactly 2 years apart and absolutely cannot stand each other but that's a personality thing. The competition growing up was terrible for both of us. My husband and his brother are two years apart and our bestest friends. I guess there's no way to predict how siblings will get along!

@pachamama: I'm guessing her twins were pretty early

@pachamama: She adopted her older son while experiencing infertility and then found out she was pregnant with twins.

@pachamama: @Portboston: I think they adopted their first and then were pregnant with twins (or vice versa)!

@pachamama: Yeah funny enough my DH's brothers are all two years apart (2 years, 2 year, 2 years, and then the 4th is 8 years younger than my DH- he was an oops) and DH is the oldest. Him and the next born HATED each other in middle and high school. Lots of competition and rivalry. But all 4 are pretty close now as 25+ year olds, even my DH (32) and his youngest brother (24). My brothers are 3 years younger than me but we're not super close. Just personalities I suppose. We get along, just not real close.

2y9m apart and it's been great for the reason that DD1 is potty trained and can do a lot on her own. Their needs are very different (emotional versus physical) but I think that's true of any other kid so her independence is much appreciated!

I was also told to wait 18 months because my LO was 6 weeks early, so I was planning to start right around then - but then I signed up for a marathon so I did that first. Now he is 21 months and we have a few events over the summer that interfere with TTC so hopefully they will be about 2 years and 9 months to three years apart if things work out/TTC doesn't take too long.

Mine are going to be 4 years 9 months apart. I'm still pregnant, so I can't really list out the true pros and cons of such a large gap. But we live in an expensive area and it just made sense for us to wait. DS is so excited about getting a sibling, he keeps talking about all the things he is going to teach him/her, how he is going to help me feed the baby and change diapers. We'll see what happens when the baby actually gets here!

What I do like right now is that he understands I'm tired and don't feel good (yay first trimester). He is pretty independent and likes to do stuff for himself, which really helps in the mornings when I have a hard time getting going.

There are 17 months between my two. They are best buddies. Play well together because so close in age and so fun having my older one really look after the little one--has never really known any different since he was practically a baby still when we brought her home. Cons two in daycare really blows financially!

Mine are 2 years 3 weeks apart, and I love it! I don't have anything to compare it to but it's been really good

Mine are 3.5 years apart. I just wasn't ready until LO1 was 2.5. We were on the fence about a second and then one day I decided we should go for it so we did. DH always wanted a second but left it up to me since I had a really bad pregnancy with our first.

Mine are 3.75 years apart. Number 2 is only a few weeks old but so far I do like that LO1 is quite independent and can understand correctly and was excited about the pregnancy and baby. But keeping up with her is a challenge and I know it will be a pain to never have them in the same school for long.

There is 9 years between our oldest and youngest. Although our oldest is biologically not mine. From my husbands first marriage. I thought the big age gap would be tough. But its actually more beautiful and amazing than I expected. DD1 is an amazing big sister. Especially with DD2 being a crazy toddler I expected DD1 to have little patience. She doesn't. They are closer than I ever dreamed possible.
I'm pregnant now and there will be about 4 years between DD2 and the next little one.

Just had our baby Sunday - the boys are 20 months apart.

So far the cons have been being pregnant during a demanding phase of DS' life and just feeling like you're tired mommy all the time. And having two in diapers and dealing with the toddler's constant messes is annoying.

But the pros are that so far the baby hasn't affected DS emotionally. He seems too young to understand what's going on and acts like we got him a puppy. Lots of curiosity, giggles, baby petting. Newborn at this point sleeps a lot so I can try to shoot to have the baby sleep at some point between daycare pick up and bedtime so I can have some time with him.

Knock wood!

My boys are 20 months apart. The first couple of months were hard because my toddler still needed me a ton and my baby wasn't a great sleeper. BUT now at 2.5 and 9 months, its mostly great! They're starting to play with each other more and my oldest doesn't remember the baby not being here.

We want one more, but I'm trying to decide whether to go for a similar gap or more like 2-2.5 years. There's definitely pros and cons to every situation, but I'm pretty happy with ours at this point!