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I feel like it really depends on the individual kid, and most people I talk to love the gap they have, whatever it is!

Mine are a little over 3 years apart. It's been great so far! (DS is still a baby) DD loves her brother, and is old enough to entertain herself a bit, is potty trained, understands when I need to feed baby and can be patient, and no jealousy. 🤞 She's a fabulous big sister, and loves her baby brother!

Totally agree that it depends on the kids!

We have a 3yo and a 2 month old, who are pretty much exactly 3 years apart, and have had a harder transition than than it sounds like @Lahela017: has… DD1 is very jealous of all the time I’m spending with the baby, who in addition to needing to eat every 2 hours refuses to sleep anywhere but on me. She still loves her sister and wants to be involved, but pretty much daily hits me with a “wouldn’t you love to spend time with me?” or “I just want to see you!” (because having my sole attention and seeing me are the same in toddler land). I assume it will get easier, especially once the baby will nap in her crib, but right now it’s rough. Although I don’t think timing it differently would have changed things given the two kids I’m dealing with 🤷‍♀️

My kids are 7.5, 5, and 3.5 so pretty small gaps between all of them, particuarly the last two. Having 3 kids under the age of 4 was rough for me. My oldest is very easy and always has been but the middle one was very clingy and since he was only 16 months when my youngest was born it felt like I had two babies. NOW however, I love it. They are all boys and are all (sort of) into similar things. They play well together for the most part and I love seeing their relationship.

My older two are almost exactly 3 years apart and my youngest is 3.5 years behind the middle. So 6.5 total gap. I’m glad mine weren’t closer as it gave me more breathing room. And my oldest is like little mommy to the youngest, but they’re not so far they can’t play together (yet … we’re on the cusp of the oldest moving into a different phase). And she learns so much from them, they’ve loved teaching her letters and numbers. The drawback I see of a big gap is the different phases thing. I just took my big kids on a trip to FL and left the youngest home with DH. It was AMAZING to not have any preschooler meltdowns or need to be as hands on. The older kids (8 and 11) can just handle themselves 24/7 and that was so fun. I mean I’m just older and more tired now so I’m also less patient with the youngest, and if we have to all be together she gets dragged to lots of things that I wouldn’t have done when the oldest was little. Sorry for the rambling but all to say - I think a bigger gap can be really fun but it also helps to agree as a family to do some things separately so you can enjoy both ages in their own way.

DD1 was 6 when DD2 was born; they are now seven and about-to-turn 1. So far, this gap has been wonderful! DD1 is old enough to be genuinely helpful, she adores her sister, she can occupy herself and take care of self-care tasks independently when needed, and she is able to express herself when frustrations arise. I also love that they need me in such different ways - it helps me not to feel burnt out. I am excited to see how my girls' relationship develops as they grow. Right now, DD1 is eager to share a room once DD2 is out of a crib, but I know she may no longer feel that way once the time comes in a few years.