If/when you were/are pregnant and had other LO's at home, was your SO sympathetic for you?Did they offer to help you out?
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When I was pregnant with the one we just lost, DH was very sympathetic. He knew I was exhausted and LO was definitely wearing me out. He took on a lot more responsibility.
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Yes, prior to being pregnant I did most of DD's baths and we both did her bedtime routine... but once I got pregnant with #2, DH took over all the night duties.
Also, as my belly got bigger it was harder to bend over the bathtub to give her a bath. When she wanted to be carried, he did it 90% of the time, and he took on a lot more in other areas too.
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@Mrs. High Heels: I haven't given many baths since last Sept...thanks to your blog post that I sent to DH.
DH was really helpful but he wasn't always around because of work...
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DH is as helpful as he can be when he's home (his work hours often prevent him from being home in time for bath/bedtime). But on weekends, he takes over!
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@autumnlove: haha, sometimes i show DH bits and pieces of hellobee threads, do a little nudge nudge and say, "heyy look at how SWEET this person's DH is... he does XYZ for her... " - he usually gets the hint!
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So far, DH has been very helpful with LO. He has always done the baths and most of the bedtime routine, but he has been offering to take him so I can nap on the weekends, which has been sooooo nice. I hope this keeps up! lol.
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Nope. I'm really frustrated with him, I have to almost breakdown before he even thinks to help out. Granted he works an incredible amount of the time, but still. Most frustrating thing ever.
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I spent the day yesterday vacuuming and scrubbing floors. DH came home (after bathtime of course), played with LO made a super huge mess, toys everywhere, woke up this morning helped out with LO's breakfast did a couple dishes (flooded the sink in the process) and got called into work early. The mess from last night was even worse when he left. It only takes 5 mins to pick up all the crap on the floor when you are NOT pregnant. So he left, i was left in tears and of course picking up all the stuff.
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The hubs has let me sleep in (until 9 on Sunday! ZOMG) and has been super helpful ever since I got KU. My nausea is a lot worse this time, so he's been really understanding.
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When I got pregnant with my second, I was working 4 days a week and really uncomfortable almost the whole time. Once I could not do my regular cleaning tasks anymore, we hired a cleaning service (because Wagon Sr. would not have had time to take those on). He took on as much as he could with helping with the first child, but we had to hire help for the cleaning.
I wish we could afford to have the cleaning service now..!! Instead our weekends are pretty much dedicated to cleaning.
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DH was sympathetic...but not about everything. when i told him i needed help grocery shopping at 8+ months pregnant because it was very difficult with a 14 month old he would say 'just a few more weeks! you can do it!" i wanted to throat punch him. he was more helpful around the house though.
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He's been more sympathetic than when I was pregnant with #1! He carries everything (1 year old included) when we go places, he makes me sit down/asks what he can do when he can tell that I'm tired and last night he got up with E for the first time in...basically forever!
He definitely doesn't just instinctively "get" that I need more help though. I have to give him gentle reminders pretty often.
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@sarbear: I get that from DH too. I told him its getting really hard to do lots of stuff and he just says "You're doing awesome just keep it up".
I dont know how else to tell him. I am not sure what exactly I am looking for, maybe just a "dont worry when I am home I will take care of everything" and actually do it.
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Nothing really needed changing while I was pregnant. I would have appreciated help with the bath, but DH can't ever be home that early. However, now that we have 2, he helps out a lot more at night when he gets home with household stuff since the kids are in bed.
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@Andrea: i wish DH helped a little more with household stuff. He says he doesnt 'see' the mess. Wth? Lol
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@Lindsay05: lol! I think guys are more immune to messes. I have him load the dishwasher. That is a bit more black and white. Dirty dishes go in the dishwasher. Keep on going until they are all in.
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I definitely was able to play the pregnant card more with DH with the first. We split a lot 50/50 but it's hard to even do my share when I'm just so tired.
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he definitely lets me sleep in a lot more now. he does a lot more of the carrying and/or wrestling of LO when we're out. he doesn't really help out much more with cleaning or anything, but he did a lot beforehand anyway!!
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i woke up with charlie every morning, but once i got pregnant with olive mr. bee took over morning wake ups (and charlie was an early riser!) i was too sick and tired to get up that first trimester!
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