Addiction runs rampant in my family. Alcohol, drugs, gambling.
The kind of addiction where people lose jobs, then everything else and die young. I have a large family and some of us have made it out relatively unscathed, but over the past 5-10 years people I thought dodged the bullet have been dropping like flies.
And now it is someone very, very close to me. Someone who took care of me when my parents couldn't because of their addictions. She is 45 and losing everything due to alcoholism. Last night she was 'missing'. Her family called me, even though I live 2 states away, just in case she had contacted me. They found her, drunk at an acquaintance's house.
I'm afraid the next phone call will be about her being hurt or dead.
I don't know what to do. We talk frequently but she won't discuss recovery. I have considered flying out to talk to her, but that would be a big financial hardship for us, and, frankly, I have already had a lot of hardship in my life from un-recovered family members. I have a kid now. Time and money spent doing stuff like this is different than it used to be. ..

Here is what I know:
Nothing I ever said or did convinced my mom or dad to sober up. My mom eventually did, but it had nothing to do with any of my pleading and machinations.
Energy I put towards 'helping' someone with an addiction significantly impacts my mood and my little family.
The closer I get to it, the harder it is to set boundaries. She needs a place to live. I have a spare room....

But I also know that she feels ashamed and alone and stuck. And maybe I could help her get unstuck...but I have been down this road before...ugh.

Anybody know about this shite?