As an abused child, I plan on being an awesome mom! I plan to read lots of parenting books and keep my environment a very healthy place for my future children. I will never yell or hit my children. I plan to break the cycle of abuse and allow it to end with my parents. Anyone else?
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I was not in an abusive home, but my mother was. And she didn't pass it down to me at all. She was a great mom.
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My mom grew up in a physically & sexually abusive home and definitely made sure we didn't grow up like that, but there were still alot of issues she hadn't dealt with until after we were already grown... so do all you can to get YOU healthy and that will definitely help you in healthy parenting. =)
Both DH and my parents divorced so that's definitely a trend both of us have already claimed broken & our kids will NEVER have to deal with.
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Thanks ladies!
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I don't remember my childhood at all. Hopefully she will. One thing I remember is that my parents never took me anywhere and that is one thing I will change. We do things as a family all the time and I love it.
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My mother grew up in a very dysfunctional/abusive family (mainly from her dad) and promised herself that she wouldnt put her own family through that. So she married my father, who is completely different from her own father, and together with him created a very happy family environment. So it can be done! Mum always says "to break the chain of abuse someone has to be strong enough to turn around, face it, and move forward in a new direction."
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I was not raised in an abusive home, but I certainly intend to do things very differently than my parents did.
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I was raised without a father for the majority of my life. I am so glad I can provide my (future) children with 2 parents who will be active in their lives.
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The only part of my childhood I have been afraid of passing on is also Divorce. I had a great, although lower-middle class, above the poverty line, childhood. It took me awhile to not be afraid of that, I love and trust my husband, but you grow up thinking that it was your fault (hey, I was five!), it's hard to get past, especially when neither parent remarried.
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My mother grew up in a very abusive household (she ran away from home 3 times before she was 15) but I had the most amazing childhood. It just makes me even more determined to be as good a mother to my children as she was to me.
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My parents fought a lot when I was a child. They finally got divorced when I was 8. Divorce complicates a lot of things for children - holidays, birthdays, being careful not to talk about one parent to the other, etc etc. That said, my parents were immigrants and under a lot of stress. I don't blame them now, but do wish my childhood was a little less traumatic. I definitely do NOT plan on getting a divorce or acting the way my parents did when they got one.
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My Mom has undiagnosed bipolar disorder and was a SAHM my whole life and I think that was very tough on her. She did a lot of things right that I will do with my own children, but she definitely used beating as a form of discipline which I will not do. I know it's tempting to smack your kids when they throw a tantrum or do something wrong, but that's really just the parent taking out anger on a defenseless child.
Since she was so harsh on me, I have social anxiety and it took me a long time to come out of my shell. Also, we didn't have a good relationship until my mid 20's so we missed out on all that bonding time.
Don't get me wrong, I defnitely believe in punishment and benign neglect and all that jazz, but I just think beating is a little too harsh and I've seen the long term effects first-hand. So I will definitely learn from that and work hard to instill confidence in my own children while teaching them who's boss.
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