Does anyone have any resources or ideas for me in regards to a child who doesn't really seek independence? All the milestone charts etc just point this out as a given that they pretty much demand it but we aren't there yet.

The child can play alone but that is about the end of it. Unfortunately, it isn't a case of stubbornness like "I can do it but don't want to" it is more like "I am not going to bother learning how to put socks on and if you don't do it I will just live without it.” And if it were just socks it wouldn't be an issue but there isn't much intrinsic motivation to learn any life skills, self feeding, wiping hands, dressing, toileting etc.

I would love any articles, anecdotes or ideas, or even what type of specialist to look into. Some things that might help- like classes with other kids are hard (though we do some) because the child will usually meltdown about leaving the house and also has a hard time interacting with other kids.

Thank you!