Anyone have a long commute with their lo?

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Anyone have a long commute with their lo?

By emilye519 Dec 2, 2015

I have been fortunate to stay home with lo since she was born, but she is almost 11 months old now, and I have a job offer. However, this job would mean a minimum 45 minute (probably closer to 1 hour-1 hour 15 minutes) each way commute every day with lo.

I'm struggling with this a lot because she isn't great in the car, and already doesn't see DH much because he works long hours (sometimes he gets to come home for lunch during the day and see lo).

Anyone have a long commute that they do with their lo that can give me some insight?

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8 comments

MOMTOLITTLEB
persimmon / 1188 posts

Dec 2, 2015

I try to get into the office early and leave early when possible. That way traffic is a little lighter and we have more evening time at home. If I have work to finish, I just do it after he goes to bed.

We listen to baby CDs, I get really sick of them but he seems to like them. I also try to talk with him and sing songs to entertain both of us, try to keep myself calm.

We get through it but I do hate it- If you think the job offer is much better than anything you'd find closer to home, it might be worth it. I work from home a couple days so that helps me but I'd still much rather have a closer office and go in everyday.
mediagirl
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts

Dec 2, 2015

I know there are a few bees with long commutes. One thing I can say about the car ride is that it does get better as they get older. My LO hated the car until about 2. If you can get through until that time, I don't think it will be that bad.

Will daycare will be near or at your new job? If I had that long of a commute, I would want my lo close to me so we could drive together so at least we would "have" that time together. Even if it is driving.
Chillybear
pomegranate / 3032 posts

Dec 2, 2015

I have about a 45-60 min commute depending on traffic. My LO's daycare is near my office. We've been doing the journey since she was 14 weeks old so she's used to it and does good in the car. Most days she's content to just look out the window. Some days we stop for coffee and donuts, or she watches a show on the ipad, we have a few car toys, breakfast and now that its dark when I pick her up sometimes she falls asleep. (which can sometimes screw up her sleep schedule).

I love her school, and it is nice to be right there if she needs me or if i'm running late i dont have to factor in traffic time to get to her. However If i could do it all again a school closer to home has its advantages too. Hubs could help with pickups/dropoffs, shorter time in the car for her, local friends for playdates, etc.
Mrs. D
pear / 1852 posts

Dec 2, 2015

I take the bus every morning with our 3.5 year old. I was fortunate to not have to do this when she was younger. We start our ride every morning about 7:30, and depending on catching our transfer and bridge traffic, we get to daycare (a ten minute walk to my work) about 8:10. So only about 40 minutes in the morning, but often on our way home our rides don't connect, so we end up with a 30 minute wait at the bridge transit terminal. That's excruicating at supper time!
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eggplant / 11716 posts

Dec 2, 2015

I have a long commute with my LO (and soon LO 2 will be joining us). My daughter hated the car seat, so the first 6 months were so so terrible. Lots of screaming, and since the majority of my commute is on major highways I couldn't pull over or anything. I'm dreading it when maternity leave is over soon and baby sister joins us, because my toddler didn't start doing well in the car till she turned two.

I actually find it much more convenient to have them in daycare close to home, but it saves us $900/month per kid for them to go out to the car suburbs with me and $1800 a month is a hell of an incentive to make me put up with a hellish commute.
PawPrints
pomegranate / 3658 posts

Dec 2, 2015

DH has a long commute with LO. He drives her to daycare 1 mile from his office. He shifted his hours much earlier in the day to avoid some of the traffic, but it can still be bad. It's 45 minutes in no traffic, typically an hour, occasionally 2 hours if there are accidents. Sometimes LO has a screaming meltdown, most of the time she babbles to herself or goes to sleep. I hardly see her on weekdays, like maybe 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening (plus the time when I'm nursing her). It sucks but it's working for us for now. We are expecting a waitlist spot to open up at a daycare in our neighborhood next spring and that will be a lot better. Is there a daycare (or nannyshare) in your neighborhood you could look into?
emilye519
cherry / 129 posts

Dec 2, 2015

Thanks for the responses everyone!

Her daycare would be about a mile from my office, and I'd work a University so it would be part of that system and significantly cheaper/better than any of the centers I've seen near our house. DH works 20 minutes in the opposite direction so that also adds to the suck factor of not being able to help with pick up/drop off, but he's off one day per week so she could stay home that day/skip the commute.

It sounds like it's doable, but it won't be pretty. There aren't a lot of good job options for me out in the burbs near our house, so it's this situation or stay at home. I think in the long run, the financial security will be worth it.
farawayyama
kiwi / 556 posts

Dec 3, 2015

I'm commenting to follow. Right now DD goes to daycare next door to our home but a friend next to work (45 minutes am, 50 minutes pm) is starting a daycare. She will save us about $400/month but I'm not sure, especially living in the snow belt.

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Anyone have a long commute with their lo?

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