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Right now I have the best of both worlds; I live in the suburbs and work in the suburbs. If getting a job closer to where you live isn't really possible in the near future, I would stay with less house less commute b/c time is money and esp with a family, I don't want to spend so much of my time commuting instead of being with my kids for dinner/bed time.

I much prefer a shorter commute with less space. I love being able to get home quickly and start on dinner right away, leaving time in the evening to spend as a family before bedtime.

Also, it's just easier to do stuff on the weekends being closer to the city - more festivals, libraries, community pools, etc.

We went through this debate a few years back and ultimately chose a tiny house in the city with shorter commute. I walk to work and DH takes the train. We previously lived in a suburb that is very close to the city and it still took a little over an hour each way for both of us via train. We are so glad that we made the choice that we did, especially now that we have kids. I didn't mind my old commute, because I would usually just read or listen to music, but that was pre-kids so it didn't matter that we both got home at like 7pm. These days, I value my extra time in the mornings and evenings with my kids so I feel like having a shorter commute time is worth it.

We will be moving again soon and it was an easy decision to decide to stay in the city instead of moving further out, even though we could save a lot of money that way.

Shorter commute, hands down.

As long as the schools are comparable in the closer suburbs, I would take less house with a shorter commute. As a full time WOHP I cherish my time with my kids, I wouldn't want to give up so much of it commuting.

I would take the lesser commute as long as it's enough house. We did the closer to town thing but recently decided to move. However it's only dh commuting and he works 12 hour shifts, sometimes 10s, so it's not a m-f thing and he can commute against traffic. We were just too crowded especially since we are having a third. If at reasonably enough house though I'd stay closer! ETA, also assuming schools are comparable even if not as good.. if there's a major difference I'd move. I'd also probably look for a closer job and just deal with it til then. But I also have very little patience for commuting, always have.

We have no desire to have a huge house, less to clean the better. Shorter commute all the way.

We faced this same decision about 2 years ago and chose to get a nicer house. DH's commute was reasonable (30 mins) but mine was 1 hr+. I think we made the wrong decision but thankfully it ended up working out in the end when I switched to a job about 10 minutes from our house.

I was completely miserable commuting for a year. Sitting in traffic was horrible for my mood and every second I spent in the car I was thinking about getting home to DD.

We have the best of both- but I voted shorter commute. Fortunately DH has a home office but the days he does commute he's 30 min further than our old house was most of the time so he's fighting traffic. But our quality of life in our house and walkable downtown is a country city has been a perfect match for us. It does not feel like a suburb. Our old house was only 15 minutes from downtown but was a commuter city lacking a community feel and did not have a downtown- just strip malls.

I would vote lesser commute.

When we purchased our first home we went with a suburb next to the fancy suburb closest to the major downtown. It was a compromise so we could be within a 30 min range of downtown but also get some house with some yard. The extra 30 mins a day with my kids is worth the sacrifice of a brand new huge home out in the sticks.

DH and I have both been lucky - I moved jobs and he moved offices - however we decided to stay in the area we are in and simply spend a little more to get more. We both have 2 mile commutes to work - although mine ends up being about 10 miles with DC drop offs and its incredible. I can leave work at 5 and be home with the girls at 530/540.

I would search for a community that can offer some of the compromises. And dont forget to prioritize the things you cant change about a house!

Once we moved to the suburbs with both of us commuting to the city, I had to find a job closer to home. I couldn't handle the commute by train and not seeing DS1 for much more than an hour a day. My commute when from 1 hr to 20 minutes and I'm much happier. I miss the city with all of my soul but this was the right move.

Normally I would choose the shorter commute (as long as the schools are comparable) cause I don't need a huge house, but little to no yard would be a deal-breaker for me.

Depending upon the nature of your jobs, is it possible to work remote a few days a week? That's what I do, given the fact that the office where I work is about a 2 hour commute on public transportation. The compromise is I work 3 days from a satellite office and go to the main office 2 days (sometimes less, but never more). I prefer not to work at home, but that's also something to consider.

I have found that when you're really close, the expectation is that you're the one to cover all the time. My husband's office, for example is less than 10 miles from our home and there are mornings when it's assumed that he'll be at his desk at 6:30 am just because he's so close.

I work from home, but my husband's commute is a HUGE consideration when thinking about where we live.

We're in a very expensive city, and choose to live close to the heart of the city ($$$) in order to save commute time. Our house is small, but we don't mind. I'd much rather have time as a family (I work full-time from home). Having my partner around to co-parent is on the top of my list of priorities when it comes to housing decisions.

We recently were commuting 3 hours a day (combined, average of 1.5 hours per day per person) and when we moved cutting down on the commute was our number 1 priority. Now I no longer work and my husband commutes 20 minutes by bike each way.

We love it!!! Honestly it's everything we imagined back when we were making long commutes. We have more family time, Chris can work later without feeling guilty, biking means he enjoys his commute more and is getting healthy, and we're saving money! Win-win-win-win!

I swear I'll never go back! We cut our squarefootage in half and completely gave up our yard to make it happen. No big deal, we have parks down the street!

Well we had to buy a small house with a commute to afford our first home. I have about a 40 min commute each way which I don't love but I'm a teacher so it's only 10 months a year and my LO commutes with me which has its own challenges but at leAst I'm not sitting in traffic anxiously waiting to get back to her.

I think it really depends on what city you're talking about and the difference in size. Like if you'd be able to still buy a house with a small amount of outdoor space but have a shorter commute that sounds fine. But if you're comparing apartment living to a big house in the burbs I'd prob go for the house.

Longer commute! I drive 1 hr each way, so I think an hour commute on public transportation sounds amazing. You could read, listen to podcasts, etc!

I picked smaller house/shorter commute, but when we made this decision we made a list of what our lifestyle ideally would look like (not just the house). Then we ranked in importance those items to come up with our choice. Thinking about a house can give you tunnel vision so try to think of all of the implications...access to parks and other fun things to do. Is running errands convenient or a half day outing?

It all comes down to personal priorities. I don't like driving/commuting, but others enjoy the alone time and don't mind a big commute. I don't like spending time maintaining a large yard/house (mowing, weeding repairs, cleaning, accumulating a bunch of stuff) and don't want to pay for someone else to do that stuff for me, but others think of it as a hobby, or very much value kids having a lot of room on their own property.
For me, it would be smaller house, less commute, closer to the city - no question. A close friend has the complete opposite perspective and commutes a hr everyday and has a large house with a lot of land in the country.