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I don't think I'll ever be happy with that

Yes, but mainly b/c I'm not working right now (aside from a few hours of freelance a week) and our first baby isn't due for another 2 months, so I have lots of time to get things done and DH still chips in a ton on weekends. We will have to see after the baby comes b/c he works weird hours and a long shift, so I'm nervous.

Umm no! DH is very hands on with most things, but when both of us around he just wants to hold the baby and not do the set up tasks. Example: he wants to change the baby. Well, that may mean he has to open a new box of diapers or go upstairs and pick out PJs. If he's home alone he will do it; if I am home he expects this to be some kind of shared task where I gather everything. He has never clipped LO's nails or given him a bath solo (we did maybe 3 joint baths). I make DH wash all the bottles and fiddle with clearing LO's nose when he's home though.

I'm happy with it. DH is a super hands on parent and a good partner around the house. I'm just getting out of my first trimester, and while I was in the midst of the worst of it he really did almost everything - laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking care of DD.

Yeah... DH will do everything... I just have very high standards

I'm fine with the division on big things. We agreed that as a SAHM the vast majority of cooking, cleaning, and laundry falls to me. I have no issues with that and DH is great at packing up the slack as long as I ask.

It's the little things - like leaving dishes on the counter instead of in the sink/dishwasher or putting dirty clothes next to the hamper. I don't think those should be my responsibility just because I do the dishes and laundry. I think as an adult member of the house those should just be things you do.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: OMG. Just read this. My husband does that a lot and I didn't really realize it until I read your post. Our older daughter has ballet on Saturdays and we rotate who takes her and who stays home or does something else with the younger one. But somehow, whether I am taking or or he is taking her, I end up doing all the work to get her out the door. He be undressing her and shouting requests at me, like "Can you go get her ballet clothes and hand them to me? Can you refill her water bottle? Can you put a snack in the stroller? Will you hand me her coat?" DUDE, it's your turn--YOU DO IT. Obviously, when it's my turn, I manage to do everything myself without help.

I'm not, but it's SO much better now than when DS was an infant. It's also hard to know what's "fair," though, since I'm a SAHM and DH works 12-14-hour days. For me, simply being appreciated for what I do helps a lot.

I definitely do a bulk of the parenting stuff and chores but I also SAH. I think it works out to be mostly fair.

I did just realize my husband does that thing where I need to set him up to take care of the kids though... I have to lay out outfits (with diapers), make sure the getting ready stuff is all stocked, etc. He has never done an infant bath, used the NoseFrida, clipped nails, or brushed the girls hair... I'm not super mad about it but it is interesting that so many people have that experience.

We have a great setup with a 50/50 split. We're pretty considerate of each other when we know someone needs time to themselves or when they need a break. When someone is sick, the other person does the majority of wake-ups in the middle of the night. I work in the city 3 days/week which is a super long commute, so we split day care pick up and drop off. We'll also split morning duty. He packs us up while I get the kids up, teeth brushed, and diaper/clothes changed.

We're very much a team when it comes to everything kids related, and neither one of us is afraid to ask for help. One of the things we both said when we had kids is not to act like a martyr and try to do it all ourselves...the other person is not a mind reader, and doesn't know if you need help unless you ask. And...we also don't get on each other if something is done a different way than we would do it. It's worked well for us.

@Anagram: omg yes to this, I need this rule: "My rule at home is nobody sits down until we can both sit down (or no one relaxes until we can both relax)."!! I feel bad complaining because technically dh does more chores than I do, but he also has way more down-time/"me-time." It drives me CRAZY when I'll be running around busy all day and there are chores that are left undone and he's watching tv. He does most of the cooking, the laundry (though I have to nag him to do it), the trash, dog walks, etc--but I do more of the child-caring: I commute/do pick up/drop off plus have lo one full day per week. And lo usually demands my full attention when we're home/I do most bedtimes and motn wake ups. Also, dh works from home whereas I usually do not, and I have a full-time workload on a part-time schedule.

@SweetiePie: I hear you. After a lot of hurt feelings and discussion, we came up with a kind of ridiculous system. We both realized we both appreciate what the other does, but sometimes we don't notice that the other is doing something worth appreciating. So since the noticing is the limiting factor, we realized we could easily remedy that. So now when either of us does something and doesn't quite feel noticed or appreciated, I'll get his attention and do a thumb-on-my-nose-wiggling-fingers motion. And he'll come over, give me a hug and kiss and thank me for what I'm doing. I know, it sounds so ridiculous, but it has done wonders!

@SweetiePie: Aww that sounds so great! I love that.

No, but I'm pretty sure it is my own damn fault! I have high standards and like things a certain way, so DH will step back and let me take over most things when it comes to LO and the house.

Absolutely. DH is very helpful. He doesn't exactly take initiative (except on the chores he consistently does daily- he does he dishes every night), but if I ask him to do an extra chore here/there he always does it.
He does all meals/cooking and kitchen clean up, as well as his own laundry and occasionally LO laundry.
I do most everything else- bathrooms, the rest of the laundry, living room, dusting, deep cleaning.
I absolutely hate cooking and kitchen clean up so it's a perfect arrangement for us.

I'm happy with it but it isn't 50/50. I do most of the chores and all the cooking. He works and I'm a stay at home mom. When he comes home from work he hangs with the kids while I make dinner and then we usually all hang out. I like our mix. And I HATE when he tries to cook or clean!