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Are you the poor friend?

  1. StbHisMrs

    pomegranate / 3329 posts

    Honestly it feels like it, we aren't though. Our annual earnings surprised me so much that I just made an appt with a financial advisor to see where we're going wrong. I haven't been out to lunch or drinks with friends in so long !

  2. Mrs. Sketchbook

    GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts

    Yes! But I've decided not to be ashamed of it. I think a lot of times people are thinking the same thing but they don't feel comfortable admitting it. So friends might think, "oh we should hang out, but I have no money to go out to eat." Well if I just say outright, "hey, let's hang out but I have no money, can we do potluck?" Then that takes the pressure off of them too.

    I spent a lot of time feeling bad because my life didn't look like other people's. My wedding was tacky, my honeymoon was short, my rental home was filled with particleboard furniture. None of those things mattered to me and I wouldn't have made different choices...but somehow I felt judged. Or like an outsider, like my inability to afford things reflected poorly on me. Like I had bad taste or couldn't appreciate the finer things in life because I was poor. But that isn't true; I can appreciate them...sometimes more than the people who can afford them.....I just cannot afford them.

    One day it just dawned on me...I refused to be ashamed of the things I cannot afford.

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