Can they coexist at weddings, birthday parties, etc? My friend got married yesterday and her parents were horrible to each other even after 17 years of being divorced, remarriage and children with their new spouses. My friend cried several times throughout the day!
Are your divorced parents civil?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Dang! That sucks.. :T They should have put aside their differences for their daughter's sake!!!
Thankfully my parents are still happily married and in love after 39 years of marriage!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Yup, they are now. Though my dad rarely actually shows up to anything.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
That's so awful and immature. DH's parents are very civil when they are around each other
bananas / 9628 posts
That's terrible! I'm so sad for your friend 
my parents are still married, but I have friends with parents that are divorced that are friends now, and others that couldn't even be in the same room for a memorial after their child, my friend, died. I think it can go either way. I'm sorry her parents were the uncivil kind of divorce.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
Omg how awful! Sad that they can't put aside their own issues for such an important day! My parents are still married but I have friends who went through something similar and I feel so bad for them
grapefruit / 4136 posts
OH that breaks my heart for your friend How awful! My parents have been divorced for 20 years and are certainly civil. DH and I have hosted Thanksgiving for both sides of our families for the last 4 years (and plan to continue to do so forever, I hope!) and my parents are just fine around one another. My step-mom can get kind of awkward (for some reason she's got jealousy issues even though there is about a -23847298347204234% chance that my parents would EVER even consider a reunion LOL) but other than that we all get along really well! And especially now that baby J is in the picture, holy crap if they couldn't handle being around each other it would be MISERABLE because I refuse to do 2 of every holiday! 
grapefruit / 4817 posts
My husband's parents have been divorced for like 17 years (and remarried) and they are just ridiculous. They don't speak to each other and to this day try to put my husband and his siblings in the middle of their drama. They make up the most ridiculous lies about each other and constantly say the nastiest things about one another to everyone. It pisses me off to no end. I keep telling my husband and his sister and brother that they seriously need to sit them both down and tell them that none of us want to hear anything about the other one anymore. Grow the eff up. Sorry for the rant...it's just never ending with those two.
@autumnlove: I feel for your friend. My SIL got married last year and they both were so uncivil it really put a damper on her day. Her father didn't even stay for the reception.
coconut / 8475 posts
I feel so sorry for your friend! That's so selfish and immature!
My parents never talked badly about each other and they respected each other's parenting styles and they call eachother when something major happens (wedding, birth, death on either side of the family)...but they avoid each other at a public event. I avoid getting them together at the same event at all costs...not that they would ever bicker or anything...but because there is so much hurt there...that it would just be unpleasant for both of them. Luckily my dad lives across the country:)
It's been 13 years...both are remarried to wonderful people.
coconut / 8475 posts
@mrs. bird: My jaw is dropped. That is so messed up. I mean...come on, get over yourselves! My condolences That's just terrible.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
My parents are. They've been divorced for 25 years. My dad lives in DC and we live in CA, so they don't see each other that often. When i was younger, they couldn't even talk to each other on the phone.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
My parents are civil but it's super awkward for me having them together so I try to avoid it.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
Well, it's very one sided, but they definitely do not get along. They have only been officially divorced for several months but were separated 3 years ago. My mom tried to make us kids choose sides, and when I chose not to ignore my dad, she wouldn't talk to me for 6 months. It's *sorta* better now... but I had to invite only my dad and his gf to thanksgiving, because having my mom there would cause problems. I'm hoping my pregnancy will help everyone chill the heck out! Divorce sucks, even when you are 25!
honeydew / 7586 posts
My parents are freakishly civil. Granted, they divorced like 26 years ago but still...
When I was younger I was really into horses and had my own horse. Eventually, my dad, stepmom, and stepdad all bought horses as well. We would all go camping together and everything. Also, whenever I would go on vacation with my dad's family, they would take my half-brother and step-sister (from my stepdad) with us. Most people found this very odd.
Now that I am an adult my parents rarely see each other anymore. However, at our wedding they all got along fine and I'd imagine it will be smooth sailing when the baby comes, too.
I am really, really lucky.
nectarine / 2163 posts
Man, talk about a parent fail!
My parents are civil, but it's not like they go out of their way to have contact with each other. Actually when my son was born was the first time they had seen each other since the divorce (14 years ago!) and it went surprisingly well. The only contact they had before that was he occasional email to discuss child support etc.
pomegranate / 3895 posts
Incredibly civil.
My parents split before I was even a year old and they were both recoupled with my stepmom and stepdad by the time I was two. Growing up, I never had even the slightest sense that there was ever any animosity between them. They always all came to my school and sporting events etc.
We now spend a lot of holidays together along with DH's family. They all get along really well and it makes it way easier than having to go to three different houses for every holiday.
I am very lucky thay my parents chose from the outset to make raising a well-adjusted chid their #1 goal, and that included being civil with one another.
pomegranate / 3204 posts
Wow that sucks for her. could they not have been civil for one of the biggest days of their daughters life?
My parents are divorced and are civil to each other, they even talk on the phone sometimes. Weird.
pomelo / 5093 posts
My parents divorced when I was 11, and made it their priority to raise me well and continue to coparent. We spent holidays together as one big extended family - my mother and her partner and my step siblings, my father and his wife and some of her six children, as well as a bunch of other family members.
When my father died last month, I, his wife, my mother, her partner, and several of my father's step children were all in the room. That's how much of a family we all continued to be.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
My mom and dad are civil to each other, although luckily there's only been a very small handful of times they've had to be in the same room together over the past 20 years (my graduation, two brothers' weddings, and my wedding...I think that might be it!).
As soon as they're apart my stepmom starts badmouthing my mom, though.
At my wedding I very clearly informed them they would all be on their best behavior...I didn't want a whiff of gossiping from any of them.
pineapple / 12234 posts
DH's parents have been divorced for 20 years and it's still weird. DH's dad wouldn't take a photo with DH and MIL without his new wife. They still don't like being in the same room together.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
My parents split up 14 years ago and have gone through varying degrees of being pleasant/pretending to be pleasant.
Anyway, so last year (the year three of their daughters got married!!!) they decided to FINALLY get a divorce. Ugh. It caused so much of an atmosphere at the weddings, seriously sucked and there was so much bitching to us kids about each other.
The divorce came through this summer and my dad just announced he's marrying the woman he left my mum for in July. Mixed feelings about that. Makes me SO determined to provide a stable family home for my kids!
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