She is finally here!

After a long pregnancy dealing with hypertension, I was supposed to be induced by 39 weeks. I really wanted to go into labor spontaneously, so at 39 weeks when there was no baby I begged my doctor for more time. She said I could go a little bit longer as long as I went in for NSTs every two days. My OB said 40 weeks was the limit, and I was set to be induced on my due date. Two days before my due date I was 5 cm dilated already and 80% effaced, so I thought that if baby didn't come by then I would at least have a quick labor.

I was super nervous about being induced because I had been all gung ho on having this super natural labor and delivery experience. I wanted to be able to walk around, use the ball, relax in the tub, etc. and I was afraid that being induced would interfere with all of my big plans. I had a very strict birth plan typed up and I planned on informing all the nurses of what I wanted.

I got to the hospital Sunday night and was hooked up to the monitors and to the Pitocin (in a triage room). They started it super low, so my contractions came on really slow. They just felt like period cramps. After an hour, they started to get to the point where I could not talk through them very easily, and after two hours they were pretty painful. Even though I was hooked up to the monitors, I was still able to use the ball and get up to use the bathroom. I could have walked around if I wanted to (dragging my IV hookup) but I honestly didn't feel like it.

By three hours in, I was in full on back labor (oh my gosh, worst thing I have ever experienced in my life) and the pain was pretty much unbearable. My contractions were 60 seconds apart. For three more hours things went on like this, and I needed my husband to get through every single contraction. The breaks in between felt like heaven...although they were only 50-60 second breaks. I was sitting on the ball and he would apply pressure to my back each time the contraction came. I started to get really nauseated and threw up a couple times. I honestly didn't feel like doing any of the things that I thought were so important, like walking around or using the tub,. My contractions were so hard and close together I felt like I didn't even have it in me to walk or transport myself between them.

At this point it had been almost 7 hours and I was hoping I had made some major progress. I thought I would at least be in transition since I came in at 5cm! Well, the nurse checked me and told me I was only at a 6! I was devastated!!! I couldn't believe that after 7 hours of sheer craziness I hadn't even made it that far. I said that I wanted the epidural. At this point I didn't even care about my "birth plan" and if I was going to be laboring this slow, there is no way my body could handle it for 24 hours.

They moved me into a delivery room and called the anesthesiologist. One of the hardest parts of the whole process for me was sitting still with the pain all in my back and leaning over for them to insert the epidural. Once I had the epidural in, I laid back in bed and waited to see what I would feel. My contractions stayed the same and my mouth went numb! The anesthesiologist gave me a bigger dose to see if it would kick in, but my contractions did not change in the slightest and I started to get a weird taste in my mouth. She said I could be having a reaction to it, but they tried to move it around inside of me to see if it would change. Of course nothing did. She said she had to take it out for at least an hour before they could try again.

Part of me just wanted to say "screw it" and not try the epi again because the insertion was so terrible. However, an hour later when the head of anestheseology came in, I was ready to try again. Thankfully, it worked this time. I was so happy with the way I ended up feeling because I was not numb or paralyzed at all, which is what I was so afraid of and the reason why I didn't want an epi in the first place. I could still move my legs around and I think I would have even been able to walk if they let me try. I still felt every contraction, but the pain was out of my back so it was enough relief to breathe through each contraction.

After having the epidural in for an hour, the doctor came in to break my water and I was already at 8 centimeters! Once she broke my water, things really got kicked into gear and I progressed extremely quickly. I couldn't believe it, but I think the epi actually helped my labor progress because I was able to relax and let my body kind of take over. They never even turned the Pitocin past a 4 (doses go up to 20) but labor kept progressing smoothly. Two hours after my water was broken, contractions were getting intense again and I felt like I had to push. The nurse came into check me and sure enough, I was complete!

She said that they could start to get things ready and I could push if I wanted, but to know that most first times mom push for three hours or so. She said it could be a while before baby, so she wouldn't call the OB back yet. Well, I started pushing and making progress quickly. My doctor rushed in and it was time to get to business! At first she thought that my pushes were so great that I would only have to push for 15 minutes and I would beat her "all time record." However, we didn't know at the time that baby was sunny side up and delivery would take a bit longer.

I am not going to lie, pushing was intense. I could feel everything down there, which was good because I knew when to push and when to stop. However, after a while I just wanted to give up. I was so exhausted and felt like my baby was never going to come out. I got so discouraged and started to panic. I even asked the doctor if she could shove her back up there and let me walk around and take a break!!!!

After 1 hour of pushing, Willa Capri made her appearance! She was 7 lbs, 13 oz and 19 inches long. I had her on my chest immediately and even got to rub her off with the towels and stimulate her to get some good cries. I asked the doctor to not give me an episiotomy, so I ended up tearing some pretty long tears. They aren't deep, just really big! I was out of bed 1.5 hours later and even went to the bathroom right away. We are home now and adjusting to our new life together. Mommyhood is amazing but definitely hard. Willa is so beautiful and I just can't believe how perfectly she turned out!

All in all the process was about 14 hours. I learned so much from the experience and really feel that the entire medical team was on my side. I was so against interventions (like Pitocin, monitors, epidurals) but I really feel that every single one of them helped my labor. I was able to move around in different positions, feel pain, and knew when to push...all things I thought I wouldn't have with all these "interventions."

My birth story was nowhere near what I planned but I think it was amazing. I couldn't have done it without the nurses and my OB and I don't think anyone should feel guilty for not having a med-free birth or uber-natural home birth (how I was feeling at first--I read Ina May's Guide To Childbirth and started to feel that hospitals and OBs were the devil). They all advocated for me and anything I said went...I didn't even need that silly birth plan! Anyway, that's my story. Time to go feed my baby!