My one-week-old wants to be held 24/7 -- a lot of that time he's nursing, but even when he's finished eating, he'll sleep for a couple hours if one of us is holding him, but as soon as we try to put him down in the bassinet or rocker, he wakes up and starts crying. I think maybe getting a ring sling would work for daytime so at least I won't feel stuck sitting all day, but night is a different story. Any suggestions? Or do we resign ourselves to continuing to take shifts during the night with one of us holding him and the other sleeping for an hour or two?
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@MrsSCB: Sorry, don't have advice for this one, but sending hugs.
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R was the same way. We were able to get her to take naps in the swing during the day. At night one of us would hold her or I would co sleep and let her nurse for hours. I really wasn't comfortable sleeping next to her because I was worried she would fall off the bed. What worked was a rock in play. I think she felt secure and preferred to sleep at an incline. We got one when she was 6 weeks old and the first night she slept 5 hours in it!
ETA: she didn't take all her naps in the swing, she definitely preferred to nap on someone. And we used a Velcro swaddle at night. I could never get her to take a paci but that might have helped too.
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@pregnantbee: thank you
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@Mrs. Pickle: I'm glad he's not the only one. How long did it take her to grow out of this phase? And yes, he seems to be better during the day -- he'll do a couple stretches in the little rocker thing we have, but once it's nighttime he is just not into it. He does seem to prefer that over the bassinet, though. I also think it must feel more secure. He looks so tiny in the middle of the bassinet. Maybe we will try a pacifier. I keep seeing things saying to wait and it makes me nervous. But he's had a good latch since the beginning so hopefully it wouldn't change anything.
@oliviaoblivia: thank you, I haven't seen that. Getting my hands free would be nice, my arms and shoulders are getting sore!
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Also apparently he likes the car. We just got out for the first time and he fell asleep driving around.
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@oliviaoblivia: Um. This looks amazing.
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@MrsSCB: Are you swaddling him? Doing so might help him sleep better alone. And don't worry over the paci. Both my kids used one from day 1 and were exclusively breastfed without issue.
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@MrsSCB: it got noticeably easier at 6 weeks, then again at 8 and 12 weeks. I felt like the first couple months were survival mode. DH and I thought the wonder weeks app was pretty helpful the first few months. It helped explain what she was going through developmentally and we didn't feel so bad about our parenting. There was lots of nights before that where we would question our abilities and just felt like failures!
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Are you swaddling him? One thing I found helpful was to swaddle M and then nurse her. That way when she fell asleep at the boob she was already all nice and cozy and didn't notice when I put her down in the PNP.
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What if you did a nest in his crib (under the sheets) and tried inclining the mattress? My son liked (and still likes to this day) to be cuddled, he will sleep in a very small space as opposed to liking the vast expanse of space.
My son was similar, just the movement of me bending at the waist to put him into his crib signaled him to wake up, it was brutal.
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@Truth Bombs: @lawbee11: yes, we're swaddling. We've tried a few different ones and he almost always gets his arms free...maybe he prefers that? He sucks on his hands a little for comfort.
@Mrs. Pickle: I will definitely download the app. And I feel the same way -- things always seem better during the day, but at night it's hard not to think what are we doing wrong here?
@looch: yes, even when he seems fast asleep and we super carefully try to lower him into the bassinet or rocker, somehow he notices! Our pedi suggested making an under-sheet nest as well so we'll have to give that a try.
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Totally normal, they all want to be held in the beginning
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Miracle blanket, tighter than you'd think
White noise, louder than you'd think
Rock N Play
Those three all put together worked for my kids. -
@MrsSCB: Thats just how newborns are. They want to be held all the time. I was very frustrated with LO at that stage until I accepted that this is just a phase they go through. Not sure if you have tried swaddling or a woombie that makes them feel as though they are being held
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Yea, DS was like this till he was 4 months old. I literally could not put the child down ever! I'm sure there are multiple hellobee threads about my frustration over it. We just co-slept and still do now at 8 months. I don't really have any advice, just commiseration.
Eta: FWIW now the kid won't have anything to do with being cuddled. I almost wish I hadn't complained as much as I had at the time lol.
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Swaddle really tight... we also nursed while swaddled, that helped with my DD. Or if you are putting baby in the swing after, get the swing started first and quickly try to get him in there while it's still going so that it's already in motion.. if you want to try the paci, make sure it's a tiny one that is good for newborn, like the mam pacis that are super light weight and they can keep in their mouths...good luck!
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This is why I cosleep. With great reluctance and lots of back pain. I do not understand how people get babies to sleep. Seriously. My husband is a pediatrician and he can't figure it out either.
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My son was exactly like this when he was a newborn. We coslept the first 6 weeks. The swing was also a lifesaver. Swaddling never really helped much.
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@lamariniere: did you just keep trying the crib? I can handle co sleeping again if I know there is an end date. With my daughter we eventually had to do various methods of sleep training to get her out of our bed at 8 months and I'd really like to avoid that...
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@Silva: are we the same person? Lol
, also let me know if your husband figures out the secret to getting babies to sleep!
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I felt like babywearing was a lifesaver (during the day at least). DD has loved the boba wrap from day 1.
@oliviaoblivia: umm..why have I never heard of this? It looks amazing!
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@Silva: eventually my DH kicked him out of the bed. It was still hard and I would let the baby nap on me during the day, but he would go in his crib at night. During night wakings after feeding, I would "pat and shush" until he fell asleep in his crib. Sometimes it took a long time and he took forever to learn to self sooth (like 12 months). I'm glad those crib struggles are over!
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For the first month this is exactly how we lived. In the hospital, DH let him sleep on him all the time and that just carried through at home. Hugs, it's super rough to provide 24 hour care.
Our baby didn't like swaddling and rejected every thing we bought for him to sleep on. He really wanted to be on his tummy, which just was not going to happen if we laid him down somewhere.
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You could also try putting a heating pad in the crib for a few minutes before you put the baby in. That seemed to help ours stay asleep when we put her down.
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We took turns sleeping in a recliner (all hail the Best Tryp!) holding him on our chests for the first 5 weeks, and then moved him to the "newborn napper" that came with our playpen for another month.
We also gave him a pacifier (Wubbanub) from day one and he's fine, almost 6 months EBF.
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We did the Rock n Play lined with a dirty shirt of mine, swaddle, and then put a lightly warm rice sock along his belly or legs so he felt held. We could get some stretches that way.
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@Mrsbells: I agree.
I think it's just how newborns are! They want to be with their mama! That's all they've ever known.
My son was like this and we took turns holding him at night for the first five weeks until I gave in and started co sleeping. We did that until he was four months old and then transitioned him to the crib.Now, I'm pregnant with my second, and don't really want to do that again
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@Silva: ahh your comment gave me a lot of reassurance cause I felt the exact same way with my first! I'm so nervous about my second on the way lol.
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DS 2 isn't a huge fan of the pacifier and regularly spits it out but we used it from day 3 anyway to give me a break. Now we give it to him when he goes to sleep but after that he self soothes with his hands.
, also let me know if your husband figures out the secret to getting babies to sleep!
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