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Your mom needs to grow up, that's all!

Boo, sorry you're going through this! A friend of mine was worried about her MIL and SMIL at her shower, after they caused a big scene at another family event. So she gave them each a time slot and made sure they weren't there together. Both of them caused the problem though, so I'm not sure this would work as well for you but its a thought.

Aw, I'm sorry you have to deal with this! But, if your mom decides to come, maybe it'll make the day easier? Or, you can tell her that this is about YOU and your baby, so really whatever her issues are about it are pointless.

I can completely empathize with you! My parents were divorced over 25 years ago and they, to this day, are very uncomfortable being in the same room as each other. (both have been remarried for a long time as well). My wedding was so stressful because my mother wanted a front row seat during the reception but didn't want to be within line sight of my father. I too, wish she could put her big girl panties on but after 25 years, i've given up.

Now that I have a baby, I invite both sets of parents to birthdays or other special occasions. My mother has chosen to not come and, instead, suggest we do a 2nd celebration for big events so that she can participate (i.e. let's throw two birthday parties) and I refuse. I figure I am done with the family drama and don't want my child to have to go back and forth like I did. It is her loss and she is the only one who can realize that.

I can't tell you to do the same but I can certainly understand what you are going through. Have you thought about telling her gently how you feel and have a patient conversation about it? Perhaps you could tell her you want her to be there but give her the reasons why you are inviting the other woman as well. Its best to be clear from the beginning so this issue does not come up at every future event for the kiddie.

Good luck!!

It sucks when parents act like the children. I agree with everyone else that your mom needs to grow up. I hope talking it out with her helps, but I think you should stand your ground and just do one event and let her deal with it.

My situation is not nearly so tense, but DH hates his dad's wife, so it would be a big issue on inviting/not inviting with him (not DH's mom, who stays out of it). Lucky for me, both live on the other side of the country.

I would invite who you want and they can choose not to come. Your mom is the one missing out because of childish issues. I know it's rough when you would wan your moms support but it is her choice.

@Bookworm: Wait, is your baby's name going to be Gwen? That's my LO's name and it's rare to find another one!

Also, I can totally relate to the blended family drama. Honestly, there are too many stories to even start into and like some others on this board, my parents have been divorced a LONG time (nearly 30 years now). It makes me even more determined to make my marriage work, I have to tell you.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that!
We had the same issues on both sides of the family (SO &I), but now that LO is here, everyone seems to be behaving!
We had his first Christmas this Christmas and my mom, my dad, and moms husband were all in the same room as each other for the first time since my HS graduation!

I'm sorry that you are in this situation I hope that it works out for the best for all of you in the end! That is so helpful and nice though, that your future stepmom is understanding in this area.

I'm so sorry that something that is supposed to be a happy thing is becoming such a stressful thing! Not a blended family, but my grandmother, whom I was very close with growing up, refused to come to my bridal shower & my wedding instead of putting on her big girl panties and getting over something. It hurt. But I know I feel good because I continue to give her chances to do right and be part of my life, she chooses not to, but I can't change her, so I won't try, I can just do my part to be the better person and always offer but never expect anything in return. I'm sorry that her issues are bigger to her than being a supportive part of my life, I hope someday it changes but I won't ruin things for myself or others over her pettiness.

I hope your mom's attitude changes, unlike my grandma, you can only do so much. She is what she is & if what she wants is to be miserable, then so be it, but don't let her ruin your special day!

That is so annoying! You're doing the right thing in including your stepmom who seems to be taking the high road. I don't have that situation exactly, but DH's parents divorced 10 years ago, and for our wedding his dad's side refused to stay at the hotel where we reserved a block of rooms because they didn't want to see his mom's side. Well, the day they arrived, they all ran into each other at Banana Republic. Serves them right for being so petty!

First off, love the name Gwen! Second, sounds like your mom is being childish. Don't have any constructive advice just hope that she can behave for her granddaughter's sake and enjoy your shower. That being said, my mom and MIL left together at my shower to go do their own things. They only stayed long enough to eat and then left.

@Foodnerd81: Oh my gosh, glad it wasn't too awkward. I wish the adults in our family would act like adults!