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Wow, that sounds really stressful. Hugs!!!
My kids never liked sleeping on their own in their first days either. What eventually helped was not putting them into a cold crib. With LO1 (he's an April baby) warming the mattress with a hot water bag/bottle and then putting him down swaddled helped. With LO2 (she's a January baby) we used a lambskin. I know people say to not use them but it was the only way she would sleep and she slept swaddled on it. She immediately also lengthened her sleep cycles. We also sort of built a nest. It’s close to what Mrs. Blue once described in one of her blog posts (no angling of the mattress needed in our case): http://www.hellobee.com/2013/09/03/surviving-reflux-colds-angle-sleeping-and-crib-nests/
I also have a friend whose baby just wouldn’t sleep until she let him sleep on his tummy. Not ideal either but it worked!
Hope you find a solution that works for you guys soon!

I had a really hard time with this to. I tried everything, but nothing worked until I tried a rock 'n play when she was a month old. It wasn't perfect, but she would at least sleep on her own for an hour or so in it.

Have you tried swaddled TIGHTLY, in a Rock N Play, with the vibration on?

No advice, just commiserating! That's how we started co-sleeping haha! For what it's worth, we did keep trying to put her back in the crib and she was sleeping in the crib later on for the 1st stretch.

My boy would only sleep on me for the first 4-6 weeks. He grunted and screamed when I put him down. We tried the RNP but we would only get an hour or two at the beginning of the night. Hubby put him in the bed with us one night and we all slept. We've been co-sleeping since. I never thought I would co-sleep but he ate every hour and a half (day and night!) until 14 weeks. I wouldn't have survived any other way. Once he extended his feedings a little bit I started with naps in his crib. It was surprisingly easy and he now naps 100% in his crib. Next step will be night time. Those first weeks are tough and you do what you have to. But it gets easier.

Unfortunately this sounds pretty normal. If you don't want to co-bed you could sidecar a crib to your bed so baby is still in his own area?

@NurseMommy: can you try a different type of paci? DD refused one initially and then we tried a gerber one with a bigger nipple and after having to tease it into her she took it and its been a life changer ever since!

Like you, I never had a rock n play, and we really never co-slept. My LO loved being held in the early days (and truthfully still will only nap when being held....at 7 months) But I had a cradle in our bedroom that I would swaddle her first, then put her in. I would rock the cradle then till she was asleep.

How about a swing, do you have a swing your LO could sleep in for naps?

My baby is 3 weeks old and also sleeps swaddled in the rock and play with the vibration on. But she also will take a pacifier, which my older daughter never did. And she spends the second half of the night sleeping on me in bed so basically we do everything you are trying to avoid, but I just really need sleep. Fwiw my pediatricians have all said the rock and play is fine for night time sleep. (Though I'm aware I will have to eventually deal with transitioning her to a crib at some point).

As far as the paci, having had one baby who hated them, and one who likes it, I feel like it's just your kid. I bought every single brand for my older one and she would just spit them out. Offered the first brand I had clean to this baby and she was like, oh yeah, this is nice, thanks mom.

I hope you can figure something out. This time is hard!

@NurseMommy: I was able to put my two down more consistently starting around 4-6 weeks. I think we tend to forget that until they were born they spent 24 hours a day with you so of course they want to be with their mommy all day. I'll cross fingers for you that the transition happens sooner than later.

Have you tried a swing? I know it's "normal" and all but sometimes you just don't want to spend the whole day holding them, lol

My second was this way. He slept on me for like the first month. I would prop pillows around me and sleep basically sitting up and had the hoppy on my lap to prevent him from falling off the bed. Ridiculous. I just kept trying to transfer him to the Rock and play little by little and I think around a month or so it started working. Hang in there!