I definitely think 2 kids is WAY harder than 1. For so many reasons! For those of you that have 3...was it significantly harder than 2 kids? Why or why not?
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I obviously don't have 3. But this is why I'm so on the fence about having a 3rd! I just can't even imagine right now!
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I've always heard that the transition from 1 to 2 is the hardest, and after that it doesn't make a difference. I don't know from experience but I'd be interested to hear from 3+ moms!!
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My aunt of three has always said the hardest transition was none to one
She said 1 to 2 and 2 to 3 were easy! Haha
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@MrsYellowJacket: I definitely hear that the most from friends who have 3.
I think 2 is waaaaay easier than from 0 to 1 so I'm not that concerned about 2 to 3. My 2.5 year old is already such a big help to me!
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The third is still cooking but to me having an infant is hard. So it no matter how many kids I have I still think the infant part would be hard. I think 0-1 was way harder than 1-2. I thought 1-2 was hard in the beginning but now I think it's pretty easy since my youngest is older. And I'm sure I'll feel stressed when 3 gets here! I think logistics will get harder but being a mom won't (if that makes sense).
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No input but very interested in the answers. Power to you mommies of 3+!
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I was not stressed at all about infant things with my 2nd (nursing, weight gain, etc) but juggling the needs of the two of them is so challenging...especially since my older stopped napping around when the baby was born. Now that they are older (3.5 and 1) it's definitely easier....and i think when the baby is on one nap it will get even easier. My older son does NOT do well at home all morning!
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Much harder. At least with a colicky baby and doing solo bedtime 5x a week. For me it's UNBELIEVABLY harder.
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I have found 2 to be harder than one, obviously, but more just in a time management sense. Getting everyone's needs met is exhausting, especially the adults. With three I would just assume that the adults would have exponentially less time for themselves and their own needs, and that would be hard.
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I have heard from our friends that 2-3 is the hardest because you're outnumbered for the first time. Those with 4+ said it was way easier after the 3rd
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@winniebee: I definitely think it's dependent on the child's temperament and how easy your baby is. My oldest is a breeze. I mean he is a dream child! My second requires more supervision but I still wouldn't consider him hard. I imagine a very difficult colicky baby would trump everything.
I do have a friend that mentioned #3 was a breeze and just blended right into the family. But she did have larger age gaps.
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I don't think it has been much harder than two for us. There are difficult days but overall everything is manageable.. I do wish LO 3 was a better sleeper like her big sisters but she is still young!
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@Mamasig: oh for sure! My second has been an easy baby but bad sleeper. My older has a prickly temperament. Some days are chaos and some are fine!
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I don't have three, but I have heard from a few people with 3 that the transition from 1 to 2 was much more difficult for them than 2 to 3. Of course, it depends on the individual kids and the family dynamic. I am one of three and my mom says that 1 to 2 seemed like twice the work, and she was nervous about that happening again with 2 to 3, but in fact, not all that much changed. I think it helped that my little brother has always been super easygoing. A family I nannied for had 3, and they handled 3 just fine, and said it wasn't that much more work than 2 had been. They also had a rather needy youngest.
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I am terrified of this...I'm expecting it to be HARD. I solo parent a lot and my boys are so exhausting some days I can't even imagine how tired I'm going to be.
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A lot harder. Crazy just becomes your new normal and I don't even know what "rested" means anymore, really. It's still wonderful and there are times that aren't hard at all (like when 2 of the 3 are at school lol) but yeah, it's a heavy work load.
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@catomd00: that makes me relieved about the 4+ stories!
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I've been thinking about this and here are my thoughts.
I think the transition being hard or easy depends more on situational factors at play and the temperament of your baby rather than the number of kids.
For example, lots of people say going from 0-1 was the hardest transition for them. But I didn't find it hard at all. My husband was off for 7 weeks, I didn't have to go back to work until 4 months, I had lots of family close by willing to help, and lots of friends who also had babies so I didn't feel isolated. Sure, my baby slept terribly, but sleep is just sleep and in the end I don't look at it as being a hard transition.
But going from 1-2 I found to be incredibly difficult. #2 was colicky and screamed constantly
I felt completely out of control of my life because I would never be able to soothe her. I had to go back to work at 5 weeks post partum and was very stressed and suffered from low milk supply. I was called ateast 2x a week to come home from work because she had been crying for hours and hours and hours.Sotry that was kind of a novel, but my point is that adding any number baby, whether it's #2 or #3 or #5 can be a breeze if they sleep well, are content to sit in a chair or swing while you get stuff done, eat well, etc. It can also be a nightmare if they have colic, you have no support, have extreme PPD, etc.
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: word. 1-2 was crazy hard for those reasons.
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This thread has me worried....
I found going from 0 to 1 was an absolute cakewalk - easiest thing in the world and I loved every minute of it. Going from 1-2 was significantly more difficult as I felt constantly pulled in different directions, and LO1 did not warm to LO2 in the slightest for the first 18 months or so, which made it even more difficult. Nearly two years in, I still find it tough a lot of the time to manage my incredibly strong willed toddler, and my very dependent preschooler, so I am absolutely terrified about bringing a third baby into the mix in June. I'm preparing for the worst and accepting I will just be a crazy person half (all) the time, but hoping for the best....we'll see what happens.
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My parents had 4 and said 2-3 was the hardest. Something about being outnumbered added an extra layer of difficulty. I'm still on the fence about having a third. They did say 3-4 was the easiest of all, but no way I am having 4
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: Hang in there, mama!
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I don't think the transition from 0-1 was that hard. We had some behavioral problems at 2 years old and that made things BAD. Having 2 hasn't been that bad, I think because my oldest is 3 and listens well, DD is also a dream baby and slept fantastic as an infant. I'm worried about adding 3rd because DH works so much and i solo parent a lot.
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My sister has 5 and always said that 2-3 was difficult but that 4-5 were a breeze. She had #2-3 very close together though, so that may have been part of it. If I'm being honest, one of the reasons I am very hesitant to have another is how hard each of the transitions was for me (and for DH). #1 was super colicky and at almost 3.5 still has a challenging temperament. #2 is super easy but a terrible sleeper, still, at 14 mos. I'm just not sure I have it in me to do it again, despite always thinking we wanted 3.
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I don't have 3 (though hopefully I will one day), but I thought 0 to 1 was WAY harder than 1 to 2. Granted, DS2 is only 5 months old. But, the lifestyle changes were way bigger going from 0-1.
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Following as I will have 3 in April. I found going from 1-2 was easier in some aspects but my second is also a better sleeper than #1. We feel more experienced and more confident about keeping a human alive and providing basic needs. That being said our oldest is not a great listener and it is a challenge. Number 2 is getting at that "I want to be independent but also still be a baby when I want to" age which is challenging. I have 2 boys and will be having a third boy and they have so.much.energy and that is exhausting. I have pretty much decided it's going to be a complete circus and utter chaos at all times so my expectations are low. I also decided we are never going out in public as a family of 5 bc even going out with 2 is a nightmare. They just don't listen well in public and think it's cute to run and hide from mom and dad.
I do, however, always try to remember that the days are long but the years are short. We will survive, we will get through it and some day my husband I will have a life again
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I don't have 3, but I agree with RainbowSprinkles that it probably all has to do with the temperaments of the babies. For me, 0-1 was way harder than 1-2 and that's just because so far LO 2 is such a more chill baby! She isn't one of those magical sleepers who sttn at like, 6 weeks, but many nights she only wakes up once and for me, that's amazing (my first was waking 6ish times a night at 4 months). My first had so many feeding issues and although my second has a few of those issues they are not near as bad, so again....generally speaking, she's easier!
After LO1, my husband and I both wanted to push through and have LO2 to "get it over with". And we were dreading the baby stage, to be honest. I never had ANY baby fever after LO1, it was just a logical decision based on our ages to go ahead and have LO2. But man.....for the first time in my life, I have baby fever! I've enjoyed the baby stage so much more this time around that now sometimes I think about having a 3rd. Which is crazy. It's so different than the first time.
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