My DS is 12 weeks, 14 lbs and we have been bed-sharing since we came home from the hospital because he refused to sleep alone. It was nice in the beginning due to the frequent feeds, but we are getting into a bad place over the last few weeks. He sleeps right next to me and often kicks me and I get little sleep. He was eating every three hours at night and he has gone some rare 4-5 hour stretches, but those were weeks ago. He is now waking every 1.5 to 2 hours to nurse!! I have tried to give him a pacifier, but he spits it out. I don't think this is a sleep regression because he takes a glorious three hour nap in the morning (why can't he do that at night?!). I'm thinking that because he sleeps next to me, every time he wakes, he needs to nurse to go back to sleep and also wants to nurse because he smells my milk. He nurses to sleep and I've tried to get him to sleep in his co-sleeper or swing, but he cries. He naps fine in his nursery in a swing and I don't nurse him to sleep during the day. I'm getting to the end of my rope, especially because I go back to work full-time next week. Anyone have a similar situation? I don't think I am going to be able to do any cry-free techniques to get him in his nursery/crib and I fear we will have to do cry it out and as early as four months. My pedi told me to CIO at 8 weeks, but I did not feel comfortable with that so early. I also fear that he is going to cry so much because he is used to sleeping next to me in our bed. Lastly, what about eating every 1.5 hours? Will he wake when we CIO every 1.5 hours because he used to it now??? I'm so scared! We really need him in his own crib so that we can all get some rest and I don't mind feeding him 2-3 times a night. Thanks in advance!
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Sounds like your baby may be going through a growth spurt. I dont really have any advice since we're still co sleeping with our DD
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@cdkelly: It sounds like he could be doing something called "reverse-cycling." Basically he is nursing more at night to make up for calories not taken in during the day. This is common during growth spurts, and also when BFing moms work during the day. Here's some general information: http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/reverse-cycling/
When you try to get him to sleep somewhere else, are you trying to have him fall asleep on his own, or putting him there once he's fallen asleep? For us, putting her down AFTER she was asleep (for both girls, honestly) worked much better. Some infants prefer different sleeping surfaces. My youngest really liked the snug incline of the R'n'P the rare times she slept "on her own" for short stretches. Have you considered side-carring a crib, or having him near you, but not right next to you for improved sleep? Just something to think about. -
@bunnylove08 thanks, but I don't think it is a growth spurt. It has been a few weeks now and he eats normally during the day. @mrs.twine I have heard of reverse cycling, but he started this while I was still on maternity leave. He is eating normally during the day. I've tried most everything and I wish I could put him down while asleep. He is so sensitive and if he is in a deep sleep, his eyes still open once I put him down. I have a co-sleeper, but he won't sleep in that either!
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I think you have to go with your gut and of course, every situation is different. But for me, I know sleep improved drastically for both me and LO when she was moved out of our room. I never co-bedded, so don't have experience there. But I will say that when she was in our room, my presence was disruptive to her and vice versa.
As for sleep training. Well, I did it with my LO around 3.5 months because I was pretty sure she was ready. I will say that initially we threw in a dream feed around 11pm (she went down around 7) just in case she was still needing a source of food in the night. We were very, very lucky that we caught her at the right time and she did so well with the transition. We did not have a lot of crying. We did have fussing, but generally that lasted maybe 15 minutes and then she was asleep.
This is a controversial subject and many people will tell you how terrible sleep training is, but I did want to offer my perspective that it doesn't have to be a horrible, traumatic process at all. My LO is now 28 months old and we haven't really had regressions. She likes her crib, she sleeps roughly 7:30pm-7:30am and all is well. That isn't to say everyone would have the same experience even if they did replicate what we did, but it's possible.
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Also, to answer your question of whether he will wake up every 1.5 hours to CIO since he's used to getting up that frequently. I'm not sure, but if he is smelling your milk and that is no longer issue, perhaps the wake-ups will be less frequent. Another thing: it's so important to have your husband on board if you sleep train. Mine was wonderful and handled a lot of the night wakings since I think babies often want to nurse for comfort in the night (and there's nothing wrong with that as long as the mom is on board!) and obviously can't do that with dad.
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@cdkelly: This is the point that we transitioned to the crib. LO didn't sleep with us, but in the PNP next to our bed. My DH snores and we jumped at every little noise. We all slept better when she went to her room and I had the video monitor on. The 4 month sleep regression is no joke, it will be awful for a few weeks, but then it will get better.
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I found that over time, it became second nature to me. I sleep topless and would just kind of turn my body towards her and fall back asleep. As she got older, I would barely even wake up.
She's been through stages where she nurses seemingly all night, and stages where she sleeps solidly and never wakes up at all. But more so, it was just about getting used to it. It gets easier.
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@MEREDITHNYC thanks- you give me hope! My husband really wants to sleep train like yesterday! He is going to handle the initial put down while I leave the house because I can't bear to hear my baby cry. I wish he could tackle the night, too, but my little guy will need to eat at least twice. So, that being said, I am going to have to endure some crying. @arden I wish I could say it is getting easier, but it is actually getting harder. I'm such a light sleeper that I wake up any time that he stirs and it takes me a long time to go back to sleep after he latches on. Thanks everyone!
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